Newbie with Intro

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-07-2004
Newbie with Intro
9
Mon, 05-08-2006 - 12:31pm

Hi, I just started posting here and thought I better introduce myself. I am married with two children, one boy 6 and a girl 12. My daughter was my little genius, so I thought. She is gifted and always did everything early in life, from walking, talking and potty training. Then, along came my son. He was slower at things like walking and talking- I was concerned when he was quite young but the Dr said not to worry all kids develop differently. Also, I knew my dd was gifted and that maybe I might just have a "normal" child that doesn't do everything as quickly. He eventually met his milestones without being in the concerned category more or less.

When he was almost 3 we began noticing some things that didn't seem quite right. Dh was apprehensive about admitting something may be not quite right. He had major sensory issues. I explained to my dh that it is just not normal for a child to scream bloody murder when the vacuum is turned on or to refuse to wear clothes that didn't feel a certain way. I have a picture of him from Preschool with about 5 other kids in the swimming pool with balls and toys- all the other kids are smiling and having a great time. My son is in tears with his hands over his ears. It was just too loud for him. So, we took him to the Dr, he ended up being diagnosed with sensory integration disorder. We did therapy for almost a year and things greatly improved.

Move forward to Kindergarten. We have had many issues in school with him. He has absolutely no patience for other chidlren having the wrong answer, he can't seem to make friends, he twists his hair ALL THE TIME (even while eating, running, brushing his teeth and so forth), he blinks his eyes in an odd manor and he licks his lips till they bleed. He doesn't lie, he doesn't understand jokes, he smiles rarely, he can't read people, he is way above level academically, he must have routine and things need to be done accordingly. I could go on and on- but I will save you.

My mom mentioned the word Autism to me one day. I freaked out and told her she was absolutely nuts. I called my best friend to be consoled only to have her tell me she had been meaning to talk to be about this too. She had been researching Autism and came across Aspergers- she was in shock when she started reading. She asked me to cool down and read about it. When I did, I cried- this WAS MY SON!

We are currently in the process of being diagnosed. My son has his 2nd appt this week and she said she would more than likely have a diagnoses for us. I would shocked if he didn't have aspergers.

Looking forward to learning more from all of you!

Melissa

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-16-1999
Mon, 05-08-2006 - 12:53pm

Hi Melissa, nice to meet you.

I am also new to the boards and hope to share many things with other parents.

My aspie is 17 years old, but was only diagnosed a year and a half ago. Like you, I had an older daughter and an older son that were quite smart and easy as pie to raise. DS 17 was always eccentric, had many obsessions and a monotone voice. He also has a neurological condition that I attributed the monotone voice to, because otherwise how could I miss that big,red flag?

I am glad you are getting your DS diagnosed early. We went through absolute hell with the school system and the court system before my son was diagnosed. By that time he was in a real bad, bad-boy school and even served time behind bars. (Sad face).

Life started making more sense when we learned about Asperger's. There is a light at the end of the tunnel! Because of his other neurological condition he does have multiple learning disabilities. But he is of average intelligence. He's aware that he is "different" and he couldn't care less. I am learning more about Asperger's and having him see both a psychologist and psychiatrist who make ME feel better.

DS was born in 1989 and I don't believe that Asperger's was on the radar screen until the middle of the 1990's. I am sure people have had this for generations (I can name at least one uncle who is almost 80). I am grateful that children can get diagnosed earlier to avoid the heartbreak we have gone through with the school and county. Maybe sometime I will tell about the time my son was arrested for trespassing (breaking a pumpkin a week after Halloween) and the prosecuter charged him with a felony burglary. It was a big laughable case in my county (for everyone but us) and lasted over 7 months. It was shortly after that when I got the asperger's diagnosis.

Denise R.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-17-2006
Mon, 05-08-2006 - 1:48pm

Melissa,
I too am new and mostly a lurker. I am crying right now tho after reading your intro. My ds is going to be 4 5/18. i feel stuck and i finally got the nerve to call University of Michigan for an appt for an autism/asp eval only to find out that they are no longer accepting new referrals. I am having his IEP thursday. i am waiting after that hump to move again. i can only go one step at a time. welcome to the boards and maybe all of us can help keep each other up and going. it's not easy and no one but us really gets it.

i have a wonderfully gifted dd too, she's 9 and mostly a great big sis to him.

take care,
Wendy

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-07-2004
Mon, 05-08-2006 - 1:49pm
That is just awful about your son and the pumpkin. I feel for you in not getting him help earlier. This Aspergers is just so new that there were probably a lot of kids that could have help early on. I am pretty confident my dh has this condition and he had a very rough childhood.
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-07-2004
Mon, 05-08-2006 - 1:57pm

What is your next step for an evaluation? Don't school do them as well? We went independently because I wasn't sure at that point how much Iw anted the school to know (I am changing my thoughts on this though). We are using our EAP (Employee Assistance Program)program through work right now. I never really knew what that program was about until someone mentioned it to me. They cover a lot of stuff.

You are right, others don't get it!

Nice to meet in you.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-17-2006
Mon, 05-08-2006 - 3:01pm

Well, he is in special ed as Physically Impaired right now. I think they'll let him meet as PI again. I'm afraid that he isn't old enough to get a aspie dx correctly or I'm afraid that he will get an aspie dx, you know what I mean... One doc suggested ADHD but his teacher and me do not agree with that. Then doc said need further info to rule out PDD NOS/Asperger's. When I read the little i've read on aspergers, i'm like yep for some of it and nope for some of it and who knows when he's only 4 for some of it. He get's PT, OT, S&L and has a special ed teacher who has a sp ed son herself. I am thinking he'll get all of these services next year too.

He has sensory issues too! We have all soft pants now but I can get him to wear church pants (Khaki's) on occasion. Changing over to short sleeves was tough and we haven't swithced to shorts yet. I have to wait until it's for sure going to be hot enough every day for that because that will be a tough transition too!! He only has one pair of shoes so there aren't any fights there too!! Who else in the world would get all of this?? :)

I'm back to smiling again. Thanks for listening and interesting suggestion with EAP...
Wendy

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-24-2004
Mon, 05-08-2006 - 5:13pm

Melissa,

Welcome to the board! I'm michelle, and I've been posting here since my son got dx'd when he was 5. Nathan is now 7, and I also have an older son, Tyler 9 NT.

I had a similiar experience with my son. His preschool teacher was concerned about him, so I shared this with my sister, and she mentioned the word autism. I went to the computer and started looking up info...and realized that it fit my son too!

Anyway, I just wanted to welcome you and wish you good luck on your ds's appt this week...let us know how it goes!

michelle

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Mon, 05-08-2006 - 9:56pm

Welcome to the board Melissa, and welcome to Aspie world.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Mon, 05-08-2006 - 10:11pm

hugs, Wendy!


You are very couragous for coming here and for posting.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Tue, 05-09-2006 - 5:24am

Your son sounds a lot like mine. We had Adam dx at 4.5 and he is now nine. I can tell you that things will be getting better. Take it a day at a time. I never heard of aspergers either and when my dh and I looked on the internet and found information on it I sat and cried and he did too -- that was Adam.

Work with the school -- in most cases they will do wonders for you. I know mine does. I wrote a piece down below (a long one) for my sons school as they are doing a seminar for the teachers on autism. It might help you when dealing with the school. We aren't new at this, but still have a lot of learning ahead of us.

Good luck, keep the faith and take it a day at a time. You are in the right place for your son now.

Amy