Newsflash!

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-07-2004
Newsflash!
19
Tue, 08-29-2006 - 8:33am

We had the 504 meeting today. My son is great and everyone who observed him thinks he is just fine. He is above grade level academically. He has a hard time focusing once in a while but other then that he is a remarkable student. Thank you GOD he has been healed!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

********Imply serious sarcasm to the above**********************************

Here is what it boils down to, we are 18 days into the school year and the beginning is always the easiest. They do not have an accurate picture of my son. He qualifies for nothing. We aren't poor and we are of white race- they know that we will provide the services to him outside of school at our expense- so why should they.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 09-09-2005
In reply to: jeepmama2004
Tue, 08-29-2006 - 6:40pm

Hey there all,


I do think some feelings have been trodden on and people are feeling angry and misunderstood right now.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 10-03-2004
In reply to: jeepmama2004
Tue, 08-29-2006 - 6:46pm

We are all welcome here. I am the white mother of a brown-white mixed child, and married to a brown-skinned man. And here where we live the school system is so out-of-control and crazy that services go to those people with connections and money that can get the good services because they can hire lawyers. Sad. The problem I see in this discussion is that you are ALL right, depending on your school district. I have heard of school districts that DEFINITELY do not give services to people who they believe will acquiese and pay out of pockets for services because they are well off and also might not want the sub-standard services provided by SDs -- ours stink here! So people pay out-of-pocket, because who wants to waste precious time when raising a precious child fighting school districts one cannot win with? I personally know MANY stories like this. It is beyond sad.

The school districts MUST be fought, but the fight often runs parents into more nightmares and lots of money and many times they STILL don't get the services and their child fails and flounders. It is federally mandated that our children be helped and get a free and appropriate education, yes, but the reality for many parts of the country is --- not good.

To the OP. You can fight this school district. Go to IEP Board and ask Steph what to do immediately, don't wait for your dh to fail, don't stand for this. You don't have to put up with no services or whatever criteria they are using making their policy decisions, which of course is illegal if they are basing it on income or color, WAY illegal, but we ALL know illegal doesn't stop these school districts from breaking the law every day in every way. And even if this is just because they HOPE he will not need services they don't want to pay for, the law is definitely on your side here, even if your SD doesn't think so. They often need persuasion. Hopefully just a good flex of your knowledge about your rights will be enough to get them re-assessing their decision and back-pedaling, at least you must try.

To divalicious : I am very happy for you that your school district allocates correctly. The OP, however, really could be correct in her assessment, however venting, of why she was denied services. I have heard far worse cases. Where I am, many parents who are poor, esp. those who struggle with the English language, are receiving sub-standard or no services. And also here, many wealthy people are pulling their children and paying privately, because that is almost all that can really be done for our children in failing NYC system. And fighting may or may not work, the climate here is changing and NOT for the better... But anyways, I hope you stick around and I bet Paula does, too. I'd even like to see this discussed more, if possible.

As a member of a mixed-race family, I want to say that racism is insidious and always there, hard to talk about and incendiary, and yet part of our every day lives. It cuts all directions and is divisive and ugly. I hope that noone feels they can't vent here, but race issues will always bring up hard feelings. I do find the discussion interesting. Maybe there is a way to talk further about all this without anyone feeling personally attacked? Tall order, though. I know, I experience it, coming and going.

And -- sadly --- this is not a good time for American education system in large areas of this big beautiful country of ours...

yours,

Sara
ilovemalcolm

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-07-2003
In reply to: jeepmama2004
Tue, 08-29-2006 - 6:58pm

Nicely said Sarah.

I wish the real world would stay away from us. My district is good and it does get grants or funding to allow for improving education for our kids. It is one of the few truly mixed districts here on Long Island, and there are only a few that are.

My own mother was questioning me as to wether Josh should be allowed into an inclusion class. She thought he might tbe too disruptive in the classroom. Despite what i told her an inlcusion class is all about. And that Josh really wasn't that bad, yes he might call out or fake read. and yes sometimes he just has to say what is on his mind, but he is controlable and he is not a kid who throws tantrums in the classroom.

Real world out there and some times we need to talk about it in a safe enviorment.

Rina

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
In reply to: jeepmama2004
Tue, 08-29-2006 - 8:54pm

I definitely wanted to reply to your opening post.

I AM SO GLAD HE IS CURED!!!!! (note more sarcasm!)

It is very frustrating to watch our children struggle and not be able to access the supports we know will help either due to eligibility criteria, someone else's stereotypes, or lack of funding.

I really think you aught to fight the district on this one if you feel he isn't getting services that he needs to be successful in school. Definitely check in with Steph and perhaps look into the possibility of an advocate in your area at least to talk to or get some advice from.

Renee

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
In reply to: jeepmama2004
Tue, 08-29-2006 - 11:32pm

OH HOW WONDERFUL can you pass his cure along to the REST of us?

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iVillage Member
Registered: 06-09-2005
In reply to: jeepmama2004
Wed, 08-30-2006 - 7:02am

Diva,

I think I read the original post and the followup in the same light as you did. I think you said it best here.

"I guess my point to all this is that we need to be careful what we say - we don't know how it may be perceived by other readers. And yes, I understand frustration and venting, but even in venting,there is often a little bit of truth in between the words spoken and i don't think we need to blur the lines....."

Everyone,

Yes, we can vent.. but a lot of different people read these posts. If you are going to state a personal opinion, you can't expect it to go unchallenged. I think Diva's points were well taken.

I frequent another message board that has a debate folder. When posts get into an area of debate, they get moved to that area. Awhile ago the issue of board design came up.. not sure if this is something to think about or if it can be done.

Kate

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-11-2003
In reply to: jeepmama2004
Wed, 08-30-2006 - 7:33am

I too think you should keep fighting. It took me years of fighting to get ds the help he really needed. Unfortunately he was behind academcially by the time I learned the laws and how to use them to get him help. But he cought up rather quickly after he had all the supports he needed. Hang in there. Talk to Steph about what to do next.

Samantha

Samantha
Avatar for littleroses
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-28-2003
In reply to: jeepmama2004
Wed, 08-30-2006 - 1:02pm

I would just like to add one or two things. First, I think Paula is doing a great job. I don't think of her volunteer position as being censor so much as I do a moderator or peacemaker. She had the guts to be take on board leader of a group of people who are probably a bit more sensitive, intelligent, possibly spectrumish when no one else did (including myself) esp. when we had no takers for a very long time. I can't deal with the responsibility or being a target so I would never put myself in a leadership position because my plate is full. That is the truth of it for me, not saying it's so for others. So, thank you Paula for being the person I couldn't be.

Divalicious, your posts are witty, intelligent, logical...I love that! Please do not leave, you are very much wanted here because you can share a lot of your talents with us and that would be very missed. I really do hope you don't get the impression that you are not wanted here, because the the truth is opposite of that.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-16-2006
In reply to: jeepmama2004
Wed, 08-30-2006 - 1:26pm

thanks - I am not leaving because really, truthfully, i didn't challenge the Op's assertion to necessarily start a fight but to challenge the original poster both personally but also in terms of getting the services she needs for her child, because the questions I asked will also be asked by the school etc... (its the lawyer in me). As i stated in a later post, I am fairly sure that shenanigans abound (its what keeps us in business) but we have to be careful not to blame the kids in a way that is unfair to them while not holding the adult perpetrators unaccountable.

Likewise in my post to Paula, we have to remember this spectrum affects all races and socio-economic classes so while this board IS our cocoon of sorts, just as we want others to understand the differences concerning our kids spectrum issues, we also have to understand each other and respect our differences while working together on our commonalities.

at any rate my DD benefits far too much from the information we get on this board for me to leave.....

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