New...son has AS & starting puberty....

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-31-2003
New...son has AS & starting puberty....
Thu, 07-31-2003 - 11:31pm
I am new to the boards.... my son has AS(mild case) and will be starting 6th grade in a few weeks. Puberty is around the corner, socialization is the biggest problem with him. It breaks my heart to see him try to have friends, and is usually unsuccessful. I have been doing alot of reading and even saw Tony Attwood speak this past spring. I guess my questions are, does anyone have any suggestions with dealing with AS and puberty and helping my son to deal with socialization, girls, and everything else that is so awkward even for the normal 12 year old? Any exciting news on food and/or diet links? I am not one for drugs......we have tried a few. Thanks for any input!!!
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-11-2003
Sun, 08-03-2003 - 7:30am
Hi, chris3kid, welcome to the board! :)

I have a 12yo dd (PDD) who is in her 3rd year of puberty (it comes a bit early in my family). I think the hardest part for her in ballancing her ASD with the whole hormones deal is that she has to remember to get outside the house if she wants to make friends. She's not old enough to date yet, but she does like boys. She won't talk to them though, she hardly talks to anyone. And when she does decide to talk to someone she usually does it non-stop for a few hours without giving them a chance to get a word in edgewise. She's been going down to the park a few days a week this summer to sit and draw pictures of the trees and flowers. I think it is no coincidence that she always sits on the grass next to the basketball hoops, LOL. One of the boys in our homeschool co-op practices there with his buddies almost everyday and he says she is usually sudying his friends, not the roses, LOL. He has introduced her to a few of them but she won't talk to them, especially if other girls show up (which they often do). And she won't talk to the girls either. Thankfully none of the kids tease her there. They all know her by reputation, she's the 'super-shy' girl who tutors first graders in reading at the local public school and public library.

She's still just like she was 5 years ago in a lot of ways. She doesn't get along well with kids her own age, but she does great with adults or younger children. She has a hard time making eye contact, but she lets her gaze 'slip' over peoples faces in a way that reminds you of Maralin Monroe. She's honest to a fault and no one can get her to lie. That still gets her into trouble a lot because she is constantly 'taddling' on her sisters or classmates. She won't bend the rules to save her life....litteraly.

But, she does get mood swings now that she didn't before. They actually seem mild compared to the meltdows she had as a toddler. She has a few 'friends', mostly kids that are facinated by the stories she writes (she's an axcellent writter) and hang around incase she comes up with something new. DH says "she doesn't have a circle of friends she has a fan club" LOL. But she has become more agressive in doing things like collecting phone numbers from other kids. Her sister's actualy have to ask HER for a number when they need one. A few years ago she would NEVER dare to ask someone for their phone number or address.

She doesn't really care if she has friends or not, so she really doesn't try. My 8yo old does want friends though, but she more often than not scares the other kids away by being too agressive and/or controlling. It's hard to watch that. She will meet someone at the park or at a class and get their number, but they are never available to play with her or they just don't answer their phones (I hate answering machines).

If I had any words of wisdom floating in my brain they must have sunk. LOL, right now I'm looking for a few myself when it comes to the tween/teen with an ASD thing. Sigh.

Tell us more about your ds. I know a few teeage boys on the spectrum. Maybe I'll see some similarities.

Again, welcome to the board!



iVillage Member
Registered: 03-29-2003
Wed, 08-06-2003 - 8:33pm
Hi Chris,

My son is nearly 16 now and so we have been thru puberty or at least part of it. Actually it has not been too hard as our son in not very social at all and doesn't seem to care about friends, popularity or "normal" teen stuff. Just in the last year or two did he become interested in music which is a surprise as he hated music as a small child. As far as the opposite sex is concerned he seems to have little or no interest so far - time will tell where that will go. He was in a co-ed group for Aspie teens last spring and seemed to really enjoy that and he does interact with his brother, and two of his cousins who he sees rarely but immensely enjoys their company when he does. We have just been taking one day at a time with him and it seems to work. He has held down 2 summer jobs this year as he is saving for driver's training and his beginner's license when he turns 16 in the fall. Its amazing what they can do if they put their minds to it, eh? Well I don't know if this helped at all but it is our experience anyway.
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-31-2003
Wed, 08-13-2003 - 12:23am
Thank you so much for your input!!! I feel that my son is showing the same kind of reactions to that social things, and the opposite sex as of yet. I know with anything that he has dealt with throughout the years have always bothered me more so than him. I guess I should be thankful for that. It is hard, becasue it can break a mom's heart! Thank you for your insight, I will take all I can get!!!