Next year my 11 year old
You have my complete empathy on this one as we are struggling with it too and it is going to get worse for us next year (we start high/middle school this summer). I don't know about the legalities of it for you because I am in Scotland with a different system, but here's what we've done:
1) I've spent a long time explaining to the teachers what aspects of phys ed are problematic for Euan (in his case, changing, competition, physical co-ordination, hating team and group activities) and discussing which elements of PE he *has* to do. We've come to an agreement (now on his IEP which will follow him to high school) that the 'group/ teamwork' aspect of sports he will be learning in other environments and that phys ed should focus for him on the 'physical' aspect.
2) This means: no team games or group sports, no competitions. Whenever these are scheduled, Euan does a 'modified' version. Ie he participates as a team score keeper, or referee, or does individual practice (eg shooting hoops on his own or with a partner instead of playing a game of basketball), or participates in position he feels comfortable with (eg backstop in baseball).
3) He does, however, (whether he likes it or not, which he doesn't) have to do any phys ed activities that are not competitive. EG swimming coaching, circuits, individual timed events (eg cross country running against himself), paired training. This meets the minimum requirements.
4) He does additional activities - a programme worked out by his OT - that work on his specific physical needs (eg his co-ordination and balance problems) and that count as credits towards his phys ed.
So we've gone the route of a 'modified phys ed' programme on his IEP. I have yet to see how this will play out in reality in the high school but they are aware of the issue and also aware, from several meetings with me, that I will push this in his IEP and they will have to work with me on this, otherwise I'll be DIFFICULT. They hate it when I get difficult :-)
Euan's high school does have a disability stream for phys ed with a modified programme but actually that wouldn't really suit him (it's stuff like wheelchair soccer - which is still competitive!)
Kirsty, mum to Euan (11, Aspergers Syndrome) Rohan (7, NT) and Maeve (4, NT)
"My definition of housework is to sweep the room with a glance"
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You can request
When I broke my leg in high school, I was in adaptive gym for several weeks.
If you really want him to have no physEd, the sure only way is to get a doctor's note and that might be difficult to obtain.
My kids both have Ehlers-Danlos Syndrome and getting a doctor's note for them to just have the bus stop nearer the house was a battle (because the doc was afraid it might impact PhysEd. It didn't).
But maybe your doctor is different.
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Hopefully you can get adaptive PE or a similar good solution for your ds. If not, both my NT and AS ds have to change for PE in middle school. My NT doesn't like changing in front of other kids, so he began wearing his PE clothes under his school clothes. When AS ds realized what NT ds was doing, he began doing the same thing. It's a great solution (it may be smelly, but simple).
I have no personal experience with PE yet!