Nutcracker ballet + super negative kids

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-13-2006
Nutcracker ballet + super negative kids
6
Fri, 11-10-2006 - 2:24pm

My dad and his new wife have tickets to the SF Ballet's "Nutcracker" .

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Fri, 11-10-2006 - 2:54pm

I don't have any advice for you, but I'm sorry about your dilemma.


I am sick and tired of trying to talk Henry into having fun.


Most of the time, I don't bother.


iVillage Member
Registered: 01-19-2005
Fri, 11-10-2006 - 6:06pm

Well, you know what, I still keep trying at these things. But gosh darn it, it never works and we all end up miserable. But DS is only 4. I used to work for Miami City Ballet and I adore the Nutcracker and any other ballet. I also really know how good the SF company is and I'm jealous of you! But I know Eric could not sit through it, even though he might like the visuals and has said he likes the "spinning and jumping" in ballet on tv. For the sound issue, have you used earplugs? That works fairly well for Eric at movies.

But as for the sensory overwhelm thing, well. For us the "family tradition" in DH's family is to go to the circus. All the grandkids live here in town and MIL and FIL really, really want to take them all to the circus annually. We declined until last year, when Eric was 3. We did social stories, we watched it on tv. He was excited. We got there early to get acclimated. But when it started, he hated it. Stim city. Crying. Totally overwhelmed. Kind of like your earlier experience. DH and I took turns walking around with him in the lobby. I kept watching my neices and nephew who were having a ball. One neice was even 1.5 at the time and she liked it. I was miserable. My MIL even said, "how can a child not love the circus? What's not to love?" I was in tears by the time we got home. We're not doing that again for a long time.

I guess you have to be the judge. It's been a while since the last time and maybe they will be able to handle it. If the seats are up close, that always helps, although it did not matter in our circus fiasco. If you do go with the kids, I'd try to lower your expectations, in case it doesn't work out. Don't mean to sound negative. I just always end up being disappointed even though it is nobody's fault.

If you can find another babysitter somehow, I think you should do that. You and DH deserve time to enjoy. You could even have an adult evening with drinks after, even though it is a matinee. I guess you have to ask yourself if you will be able to enjoy it no matter what happens with the boys. If you think you will, go for it, maybe it WILL work out. If not, try to find another sitter if you can, though I know it is not easy. We only have one who is reliable.

Sorry I don't have a solution. I'd like one for myself in these situations. I just wanted you to know I feel for you. It's hard when you want your children to be able to enjoy something that you know they could be capable of enjoying, yet somehow cannot. (Boy, that makes a lot of sense! I think you know what I mean though, I hope!)

Katherine

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-24-2005
Fri, 11-10-2006 - 7:15pm
I say ask a girlfriend to go with you...make it a mini girl's night out. The great thing about Aspies is that they're honest and they know who they are That doesn't mean not trying new things but sitting in a crowded auditorium with a loud orchestra for a long period of time takes lots of patience for even some grown-ups. Go to a nice little bar nearby and have a few holiday martinis and enjoy the ballet. Regards, Vicky
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-20-2003
Sat, 11-11-2006 - 12:04am

Evelyn, I'm with Vicky.


I'm thinking the ballet is just not going to be a family activity for your family.

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Avatar for maresgood
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Sat, 11-11-2006 - 1:44am
Hi, I would also go w/ a friend & enjoy. I took my NT dd when she was about 8 or 9 to San Diego Ballet Nutcracker. She had a hard time sitting through it. My aspie dd did not attend. I would listen to your boys that they don't want to go & not try & change their minds. Sounds like a wonderful production!~ take care, Mary Ann
Avatar for betz67
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Sat, 11-11-2006 - 8:52am

Evelyn!

I am so jealous, maybe you could ship your boys here to play bionicles and legos to their hearts' content w/ my boys and I could come join you for the SF ballet! I know the reputation of the SF ballet and would love to see it.

I do agree w/ everyone else that this just may not be the family activity your dad thinks it should be. I know in our family, Amelia, my NT, 13 yr old, dances and has been in several ballets, I do not even attempt to bring Weston. Even with his sister being in the show he can't be there. He doesn't shout or anything, but my child who looks & acts fairly normal most of the time turns into a rocking rainman when surrounded w/ an auditorium full of people and noise and stage full of whirling color.

Betsy