OH WOW! Updates

Avatar for toryanna
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
OH WOW! Updates
6
Fri, 12-15-2006 - 11:11am

Victor came home last night and was LIVID. Okay, the teacher supposedly passed out the paperwork for the science fair Wednesday. Yesterday she asked for the signed papers back. Victor said "Ms. J, I never got that paper." and she proceeded to chew him out in the middle of the class for it. Well, if I'm wrong let me know but his IEP says "PRIVATE coversations about behavior and actions" which we have gone one step further and told her to take him out into the hall. Well, she obviously didn't do that. I have gone to the principal and complained about this teacher. She's a liar and she's making my most of the time obviously honest child feel like he's a liar himself. The principal has stated that he wants to talk to the teacher and Victor alone. I have sat in on one of these meetings before and I had to step in on more than one occassion for Vic so pardon me if I'm concerned that these two are going to gang up on Victor and tell him he's wrong.

Okay, so now for the update. Victor was ranting and raving last night how embarrassed she made him feel by yelling at him like that and how much he despises this woman. I've never heard him talk like that and it kinda scared me truth be told. Well, about an hour later, he came out of the kitchen ( where he was doing his homework) and said "Mom, I'm sorry I yelled at you. I was mad at Ms. J and I shouldn't raise my voice to you because I'm mad at her." I wanted to cry tears of joy for him. I knew that he wasn't mad at me and that his yelling was a way to vent off his frustrations but that he understood what he did and that it COULD have made me feel bad lets me know that I am doing something right.

Okay, so back to this, Victor is going to meet with the principal and the teacher right now. I told the principal that Victor needed to be moved to the other classroom at school and he told me "You want to take a child who hates change and change him to an entirely different classroom. That's stupid. No, no, you need to just let me work this out with him." When I asked to be a part of the meeting today, I was told that Victor needed to work it out on his own. Am I wrong or is asking a ten year old to stand up for himself without someone there to help him asking a lot of him? I had to sit down with Victor and go over each one of his modifications because the teacher wouldn't do them. He now knows that even tho he gets special time on the computer for assignments, he also has other responsibilities such as obeying the time limits set upon him for completion of assignments. Am I wrong for expecting that by Dec 15th that the teacher should know what Victor's modifications are and have them implimented? I thought that if I felt Victor wasn't getting the education he needed in his class, that I had a right to request another teacher, not get blown off. I guess I was wrong there also. Well, if Victor comes home today and he's just as upset as he was yesterday, I plan on requesting again for him to be moved to the other classroom. If I get blown off again, I'm going to look about to find him a different school that will take him who WON'T take 6 months to start attempting to follow his modifications.

Oh, and the other thing that this teacher does, she tells Vic that even tho he's got modifications, if he doesn't get off his butt and get organized, he won't have anyone helping him with his organizational skills next year. I had to step on her toys with this one. Since she decided to inform him of this in front of the whole class, I told her when we went into the hall, ( because I am not going to stoop to her level) that as long as Victor needed help with his organizing, he would have that help written into his IEP. She was NOT happy that I corrected her in front of him. Oh well, at least I didn't do it in front of the class like she did.

Okay, I'll update you guys later tonight about what happened today. Thanks for letting me vent.

Alexis

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
In reply to: toryanna
Fri, 12-15-2006 - 3:06pm

OH DEAR LORD!

I SOOOOO do not agree with having him go in there on his own because he needs to work this out on his own. NOT AT 10! Heck with an ASD child I would likely still go with them until 18 and then after if they requested it.

I DON'T LIKE TO GO TO IEP MEETINGS ALONE! Why should he have to do this alone with no advocate or help?

Ridiculus. The principal is as bad as the teacher. I would insist on being there and I would make sure to go over both thier heads and report them to whomever would listen about this.

GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR

Renee

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
In reply to: toryanna
Fri, 12-15-2006 - 3:07pm

PS - BIG kudos to him for his maturity in 1) being able to ask you for help and talk to you and 2) for his really nice mature apology. Too bad his teacher can't be that mature.

Renee

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iVillage Member
Registered: 04-11-2003
In reply to: toryanna
Fri, 12-15-2006 - 6:33pm

Ditto to everything Renee said. Let us know what happened.

Samantha

PS you may want to head over to the IEP board and ask Steph what to do about getting the accomidations/modifications enforced.

Samantha
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-20-2003
In reply to: toryanna
Sat, 12-16-2006 - 12:33am

oh, man, that really STINKS!


I hope Victor made it out of that meeting without too much trouble.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-2006
In reply to: toryanna
Sat, 12-16-2006 - 3:40am

A mothers gut instinct should never be ignored..... lol

I am also having problems with my ds (10)'s teacher and principle. I also may have to switch teachers. School is out right now, and he is also testing with a NP, so I will just wait to see how the test results come out.

BUT its your right as a parent to switch his teachers. Period. If they bring up carp about how he deals with change, just say over and over I want to switch teachers, I want to switch teachers, I want to switch teachers....

I have to do that when my son's teacher gets on my back (she thinks he's lazy, and I am too lenient to make him do his work.) He right now is in shut down mode and won't do anything) and she tells me how to parent etc... All I say over and over is, "Tomorrow Chris see's the NP, Tomorrow Chris see's the NP...... Thats all I say. I told his NP that and he laughed lol.

Chris's teacher wanted him to be with us for a conference. I showed up without him. She got pizzed. I said as long as we don't see eye to eye on Chris, then he won't be here. I will not subject him to more stress, period. He is my life, and its my job to protect him...

So, set some boundaries with the school and say no. That is what I have had to do with our son, and I don't care if they don't like it. They are wrong!

Lainie

Avatar for toryanna
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
In reply to: toryanna
Sat, 12-16-2006 - 11:24pm

New news. As of Friday, Victor now has the ability to leave the classroom without first asking the teacher's permission when she does things wrong and has a list of 4 people OTHER than the principal he can go see about his problems. As far as the yelling at him in class, the principal excused it again but assured me that it won't happen again. I don't know if I buy it. Will probably last another 3 days like the last time and then she'll not follow another IEP rule. It's a bit frustrating but as soon as I find a way to document it other than Victor having to come home and tell me about it. At least Victor doesn't have to be ganged up on by the teacher and principal without someone else there that he feels is on his side. I'll keep you guys updated as things progress and thank you all for letting me vent.

Alexis