One of those days (epic length)

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-13-2006
One of those days (epic length)
4
Sun, 05-06-2007 - 4:59pm

Reading the pity posts here makes me want to cry because I know there are others out there who share my pain, exhaustion, worry, anxiety and sadness in this journey. I don't often post due to lack of time, but you can bet I'm here reading your posts on a daily basis to find that comraderie and reassurance. For that, ladies, I thank you from the bottom of my heart. This board is the closest thing to therapy that I'll get.

That said... I have to share about my scare on Friday. I literally thought I was going to lose my son. DS is 8 and has AS. We had dropped off his brother, 6 NT, at a birthday party, so you know the conversation we had on the way to the cleaners... "it's not fair!, he's going to get pizza and cake and I won't!, why can't I have XXX?, etc" As a consolation, I offered to stop in the dollar store and let him choose a toy, then get him a slice of pizza for dinner. OK, fine. We enter dollar store with double stroller in tow. He picks out a cap gun... sorry, honey, it's too dangerous. Next was a sword... no, you and your brother always end up hurting eachother - choose something that's NOT a weapon (this is not a new rule, we don't allow weapons of any kind in our house). grumble, grumble, whine, complain loudly... I can see he's escalating and know we need to get out fast. What about water balloons? You can fill them up and break them outside. OK, FINE! he shouts, grabbing the bag and throwing it on the counter. If you don't want them, tell me and I won't buy them. FINE, YOU CHOOSE! Fine, we won't buy them. I exit the store, exhausted from the bickering and stress of trying to circumvent a melt down. I should have seen what was coming next.

Well... you would think the world was coming to an end (and I suppose he thought his was). He took off and ran down the sidewalk about 100 yards from me, sat down in front of a store and started screaming... I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU DID THIS TO ME! MY WHOLE SUMMER IS RUINED! NOW I'LL NEVER GET TO PLAY WITH WATER BALLOONS AGAIN!, etc. I calmly walked toward him, and tried to coax him back in my direction. (Remember I'm pushing a double stroller and can't keep up if he runs.) He continues to scream, and eventaully gets to the point of saying "I'd rather be dead than not have those water balloons!" He then proceeds to take off across the parking lot, sprinting. There is no way I can catch him, short of leaving the babies, so I scream his name, hoping that "mother tone" will stop him out of fear. My heart is in my throat and I'm trying to think of how this is going to play out. It was sheer panic. Thankfully, he came back in my direction, still screaming, but at least I could grab his hand and get him in the car.

Once we reach home, he declares, "I'm going to run away so far that you'll never find me, not even if you drive around all day looking for me." I barely had the car in park when he opened the door and started to jump out. I was able to grab the back of his shirt and held on for dear life, trying all the while to calm him down.

Divine intervention... my husband drove into the driveway (one hour early, I had forgotten he had a Dr. appt that afternoon) and was able to take over. He spent then next 45 minutes trying to talk DS down from his manic state of mind. All this over water balloons.

I know, it was more than just the water balloons. I changed the 'deal' and left the store without a toy. He was getting nothing, and to him, it was a major crisis. I never thought it would be THAT major. His talk of preferring death to injustice was very scary, as was his blatant disregard for his own safety in that parking lot. Once again, I am seriously considering medicinal options.

Thanks for reading through this. I appreciate this forum more than you all know.

Melissa

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-25-2003
Sun, 05-06-2007 - 6:04pm

((((Melissa))))


We all have days like this.

-Paula

visit my blog at www.onesickmother.com
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-20-2003
Sun, 05-06-2007 - 6:32pm

(((Melissa)))


Oh, how I have been in that situation!

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iVillage Member
Registered: 09-13-2006
Mon, 05-07-2007 - 1:41am

(((Melissa))),


Your post sounds so familiar.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-13-2006
Thu, 05-10-2007 - 3:02pm

Thank you, ladies, for your replies and encouragement. In my heart I know that it's probably time to call the psychiatrist and ask about mood stabilizers. In the beginning, we wanted to see what else we could do to help him, and in a lot of ways he is much better. His school placement has allowed him to finally be somewhat happy and successful, at least academically. A big problem area now is at home, mainly with his younger brother. DS has a short fuse, combined with poor problem solving skills and a tendancy to react physically. This combination always leads to trouble. I confess that I am often too busy (with two other very young kids) to run interference all the time. I am also not the best at being patient and creative when dealing with DS. I LOVE all of my children, but I often think how much better a mom I could be for DS if he were an only child. He is not, so we deal with life day to day, do the best we can and pray God takes care of the rest.

Melissa