Ongoing update, nothing really new

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-03-2004
Ongoing update, nothing really new
4
Sat, 09-30-2006 - 8:58am

Just updating. We have managed a few weeks of home schooing, or really I think this would be called unschooling, as we are letting Malcolm do alot of the leading in terms of following his interests, of which he has many. He has visited museums, written a few more pages of his latest book, about a wolf who loves rock and roll music but can't find a good enough radio station. He is also writing songs and recording them. We went to library to get card and do some of his studying there during afternoon, when it is very quiet. I may have him do most of his "schoolwork" there in the future, quiet and tables and NOT in his room at home, easier, no distractions. He has been watching educational videos, practising his typing program, visiting websites for information and research, writing paragraphs about his activities and email them to my sister in No. MN who teaches a mixed 3/4 classroom there, just his age.

I think the hardest thing is that there is no mental break. My dh spends hours at Board of Ed (while I'm working) trying to get home services set up -- waiting in their offices every day for an entire week, BTW, because all the people capable of doing input have been let go, so there IS NOONE TO ENTER MALCOLM IN THE SYSTEM, THEREFORE WE CANNOT APPLY yet for home OT, etc. And why wait there, you might ask? Because they don't answer their phones and voicemail is always full up. We start yelling next week. And if we ever get entered into system, then we have to keep going there to actually get approval forms signed so we can start home services. Nightmare.

Next week we meet with Lindamood-Bell about their Visualizing and Verbalizing intensive program, they tested Malcolm to see if there is a strong enough discrepancy in his auditory processing to make a case for BOE that this program would be very good for him. Lawyer says we are really in catseat for reimbursement these days with BOE for all the mistakes they have been making with Malcolm, so... If we decide to go that way, this would take some hours up in Malcolm's day for a few months and then we can really start looking into schools for future.

I already know the ones we would be interested in are full. There are a few new schools opening up, but I know nothing about them. This could take a long time and we would have to start looking now for next Fall, anyways... Could be a long year. We are upping his psychotherapy to 3xs a week and looking into a social skills playgroup that may be starting soon with some wonderful clinicians that we know.

Me? I am so swamped that I hardly know where I am these days. I am the big work machine. We are introducing Malcolm to lots of movies in the evening, and that has been very pleasurable activity shared by all plus Nana. Weekends are for playdates, after I drink a gallon of coffee this AM I will be taking Malcolm to hang with 2 of his best buddies after Tae Kwondo all day and I can hang with their moms. Tomorrow is horseback and his girlfriend and HER mom.

I'm sort of journaling, I know. We have to work with Malcolm on his temper and anger management, but where will we do this? The ASD school isn't challenging enough socially for him to ever get angry and everything else available is maybe too challenging without enough support and real learning for him, as behavioral mod doesn't work. When he has playdates and outside actvities, we are able to work with him and he IS learning, but is it enough? Home IS much easier for him, we are not rigid like the last school was. Sigh. Worry, worry, worry.

Anyways, I'm not asking anything particular, just staying in touch and it feels good to keep writing. Thanks for all the ongoing lovely words of support during this rough time.

Sara
ilovemalcolm

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-25-2003
Sat, 09-30-2006 - 9:16am

Oh Sara,


I can't believe the hoops you and DH have to go through just to get him on the system! OMG! This is so bad. I am just stunned. Kudos to you and your DH for sticking with it. Many people would just cave and take the easier option. You are great and dedicated parents.


I am starting to wonder if it is time to

-Paula

visit my blog at www.onesickmother.com
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-03-2004
Sat, 09-30-2006 - 7:09pm

Dearest Paula,

The only thing is, as far as I am concerned there IS no other easier option, really, as the only placement we would have would be the full restraint/pop-tart-infested school we just pulled him from. We have only been called by one school that actually has an opening, but it just opened in the Bronx, like, 2 weeks ago and they doen't even have full staff yet. When I get time, I will go look, talk with them, see what's up there, but we have to get Malcolm set up for what might be a long haul first!!!

I am not too thrilled by further talks with politicians as I have tried in the past and basically gotten the run-around. If I get angry enough, I may go chain myself to Mayor Bloomburg's door. You will definitely read about this in paper if I do, though, 'cuz if it comes to that I'm gonna find a way to get in the papers at the same time, maybe even national TV!!!!!

DH and I still have date day once a week, and we have a regular childcare person -- we actually started date day before we ever became parents because we had such ridiculous opposite schedules. We've been too tired to be much real fun lately, but we still always try not to mention the child during that time and pretend we are young and carefree, out for dinner, catch a film or some music or theatre. Sometimes we pretend we don't know each other and meet in bars and pick each other up. Of course, then we get home and fall asleep... zzzzzzzzz.

Stress levels are improving with practise of new routines, actually, and friends are pitching in, several of my actors took him on field trips, author friends taking him to library, etc. And Nana and he lie around giggling about my evil childhood, no loyalty at all there. Also he has activities, playdates, so we do get breaks from him then.

And as he is MUCH happier than he was in wrong school, I am more relaxed in general.

Ah, life. Never BORING!

Feel better, and your poor dh, too,

Sara

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Sat, 09-30-2006 - 11:26pm

Well, life certainly doesn't sound boring now does it? Man, I am glad I am not in NYC. Even if you can get the district to agree to pay for the right services, doesn't mean that they are available.

Glad you are at least still in one piece and have your sense of humor intact.

Renée (like my new trick paula taught me, I will remember for today only most likely)

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iVillage Member
Registered: 04-11-2003
Sun, 10-01-2006 - 8:40am

Sara,

Its hard to wrap my mind around how hard it is just to register for homeschool. That's insane! Still thinking of you guys and sending you P&PT's.

Samantha