OT- but pertains to school next year

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-28-2007
OT- but pertains to school next year
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Mon, 06-16-2008 - 8:54am

So I used to teach...in a land far far away (well Md actually-but it was private so it kind of was another universe, lol). I stopped due to Liam's issues worsening, his going kindy halfday and having no way to get him to and from school without multiple transitions from daycare to school, etc. That was 3 years ago just about to the day.

Financially times are tough for all I know but we are wallowing in considerable debt (all due to housing crash in Md right when we moved). Don't get me wrong we are surviving and have the nice house and two cars et al. However, dh works night school and summer school and it's still tight. On paper it looks like he makes a ton, in reality his entire day paycheck alone only barely covers mortgage, utilities and debt payments (which have all been reduced or turned into short term loans, so it's not like we actually have any credit anymore; at least this way it's going down rather than up). His night school helps with all the other stuff, groceries, other bills etc.

So, my dilemma. Dh REALLy wants me to go back to work; trust me he will still be teaching night school. Teaching is out of the question as I'm not certified in GA and to become so would involve yet another degree....no thank you. To be honest I'm not all that passionate about teaching anymore anyway. I had to find a job on the kid's schedule so parapro seemed the best option. My working after daycare costs will bring in about $400-500; essentially grocery and gas $$$. I really am ok with that....EXCEPT: I have no clue where I'll be working come August 4th. As it is I had to call personnel twice just to make sure they had received my application and that I had been approved (they don't bother to acknowledge you at all). The suggestion was they interview end of June into July for parapro spots.

I will have Cian in his reg home school-inclusion kindy. Liam will be at a school equally close but in the opposite direction but nevertheless another school-sc K-3. Roan's new daycare is on the way to dh's work. So I have three kids in three different places and dh and I need to be in two other places AND ALL AT THE SAME TIME!!!!! No matter what, dh can take Roan, and should be able to drop off at least one of the boys (highschool starts later than elementary school). So unless I am working in one of the boys' schools I do not see how I can function in the school system. We could drop them on busses (which I am fine with) but the bus comes about 10 mins before I have to be at work and if I'm anywhere other than the local schools I'll never make it in on time. I had made requests for certain schools but this was before they decided to move Liam's placement to an entirely different building. I guess I need to call personnel and ask that they change my requests. I just hate this limbo. It's playing havoc with my anxiety.

I haven't even begun to touch on my own worry and fear about going back to work and then trying to figure out the boys therapy schedule. When I was at home I would just yank them from school if I had to, but working in the school system I'm not sure that'll go over all that well, lol. I really need one more year, to be the sahm, get Liam stable and settled, get Cian through kindy in one piece but I don't know how to get dh to hear that. I've tried, but he keeps coming back to "it'll be good for you....blah blah blah.."

I have said if I can't get a job in either of the boys schools I will not be working this year...again he kind of ignores me....sigh.

The extra cash would be nice, but in the grand scheme of things I don't see how me working my tail off for $400 a month is really worth it, when I'm already a mess emotionally about this.

Thanks for reading my whinge:)

Dee

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iVillage Member
Registered: 05-16-2006
Mon, 06-16-2008 - 9:34am

I feel your pain. I work odd cleaning jobs and babysitting jobs just becaue it's flexible. I feel it's not worth killing yourself for just a few bucks cuz you have to pay out in daycare....


I recommend trying underthetable work like myself. My DH gets my child on bus while I'm at someone's home getting their kiddos ready for school and then I clean a house afterwards and get home in time for Adam and the fun stuff of therepy and meetings and doc appts etc.....


Some weeks I clear over $200 tax free...not too shabby,


Food for thought

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 06-16-2008 - 9:44am

It won't even turn out to be $400 a month once you factor in things like clothes for work, the occasional money for lunch because you didn't have time to pack, etc etc. I did the same when dave was 1/2 way through kindy just to get me back in the field really and a start toward teaching or what I wanted to do. It really didn't bring in a substantial amount of money. Yes it was a few bucks more but nothing that really made a difference for us or helped but it did get me back out there and was a start.

Go back to work not just to make the money but to do something you will enjoy as well and works with your schedule. Start small if you need to and work up. It took me an additional 3 years but I will finally be full time next year.

Schools are great because it has the same schedule as the kids but there may be other options as well.

Good luck!

Renee

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Registered: 03-27-2003
Mon, 06-16-2008 - 10:44am

Going back to work was really hard for me.

                                

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Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 06-16-2008 - 12:17pm

I went back to work what was supposed to be 'part time' and flexible last year. The stress and anxiety that came with that job and the fact that it wasn't what it was made out to be in the part time and flexibility part nor were other things what they were supposed to be made me quit and give notice after 6 weeks.

I spent the rest of the year substitute teaching in the private preschool Owen attended, doing child care for our church's nursery and stepping up a sewing business I'd started about 3 years ago. All in all it was a fairly productive year. I made about $300 a month and didn't have to pay for child care (Owen was in school or home w/ me while I worked) and didn't need new clothes.

This fall I'll have a regular teaching position at the preschool and continue w/ my sewing business. Owen will be in school full time now. This gives me lots of flexibility and I'll still be home a couple of hours w/o my kids to get lots of work done.

I tried lots of various things to supplement DH's income, but nothing really amounted to anything. I really needed to be at home w/ my kids. But like Renee said, getting your foot in the door and being out in the world helps for when you really do have the ability w/ your kids to get out there and work full time.

Betsy

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Registered: 11-28-2006
Mon, 06-16-2008 - 12:39pm

Dee my dear, I am in the same exact boat as you.

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Registered: 04-28-2007
Mon, 06-16-2008 - 1:19pm

Thanks all; it's having to pay for daycare that is a deal breaker for me. I do know someone who has offered to watch Roan for half of what the center I like will charge, but honestly, my experience with friends/aquaintances watching my kids has not been positive.

I am literally on the edge of an anxiety attack each minute of the day. I didn't think this would be so bad, but I am remembering VIVIDLY how I felt the entire last year I worked full time and tried to deal with the boys when they were in full time daycare. They were in the same center and I was still overwhelmed.

Doesn't help that Cian's ABA is going to cost us $260 A WEEK!!! I mean I just need some help getting him potty trained. They are acting like he needs all this extra stuff, and perhaps he does, but I called them specifically due to the potty issue. Can I push the school to help me there in the FALL? I feel like my heart is about to explode. This is not good.

Dee

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Registered: 11-28-2006
Mon, 06-16-2008 - 1:44pm

I get anxiety attacks and there horrible, so I know what you mean.


I think it's time we all chip in and win the lottery.

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Registered: 12-22-2003
Mon, 06-16-2008 - 2:13pm

*Sneaking out of new mommy lurkdom to respond to this one...since I think I have something valid to add.*

First- (((((Dee)))))
Okay, with regards to your situation, been there- done that. Could write a novel. But in pamplet format, here goes.

Working as a para in your child's school is not all that it's cracked up to be. To be honest, as much I needed the job and as much as we needed the money, I hated it. First, you'll be exposed to all kinds of things you'd really rather not be exposed to. For example, I really loved the teacher I was assigned to work for/with- BEFORE I was assigned to her. But when it came to dealing with the little boy I was working with, she did things that made my stomach turn! Considering your history as an educator, no doubt this would be a thousand times more difficult for you.

Secondly, you can't assume that the parents/guardians of the child you're assigned to will be as educated or enlightened as you are. What happened with me-and knowing you it would happen with you to- I ended up feeling obligated to advocate for that child as well. But when you're already advocating for two of your own, it only compounds the emotional drain. Especially since, in essence, you have little to no say over what happens in that child's life. As the parapro, your opinion will mean very little. Shoot, in our district, the paras aren't even invited to the IEPs unless the parents specifically request it!

So here's another thought I had- I recently read an article about online teaching jobs. They've become all the rage with teachers who used to work in the classroom but who wanted and/or needed to stay at home with their kids. There are tons of online universities, and from what I understand, in many cases, you don't need an advanced degree to do it. Just a bachelors. (I guess lots of non-certified people are teaching this way.) I know this isn't an ideal situation, but maybe it's worth looking into?

If you really don't want to do this, dial my number and put your DH on the phone. I'll explain to him in vivid detail how bad of a situation this option could turn out to be! ;-)

On a personal note...I LOVED going through your box of goodies! It was so much fun. An appropriate thank you, and shipping reimbursement will be coming soon. (As soon as I get this whole 4th child thing figured out. LOL)

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Amy


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iVillage Member
Registered: 05-16-2006
Mon, 06-16-2008 - 3:02pm

Hang in there Dee......this too will work itself out..somehow, someway..it just does. I'll be thinking of you and say a little prayer for your nerves...LORD knows I had a bad set myself


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Registered: 06-25-2003
Mon, 06-16-2008 - 4:21pm

(((((Dee)))))),

As someone who worked herself into early disability for a lot more than $400 per month, I can say that it is not worth the stress. Period. Being carted out of work in an ambulance is not an experience I want any of my friends to go through.

Do try to look into other options which may allow you to make some money working from home. I think Michelle (mommy2nathan2004 ..2002?) is doing something like this. I like Amy's idea of online teaching. You can use your qualifications and stay home at the same time.

((((hugs))))

Let us know how you get on, OK?

-Paula


visit my blog at www.onesickmother.com

-Paula

visit my blog at www.onesickmother.com

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