OT- Rant/Pity Party

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-22-2003
OT- Rant/Pity Party
14
Wed, 05-07-2008 - 11:02am

If any of you are like me, you look forward to Mother's Day with mixed emotions.

Meez 3D avatar avatars games

Pages

Avatar for betz67
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Wed, 05-07-2008 - 8:32pm

OMG! send him and all the kiddos to his parents and stay home and enjoy the peace and quiet!

The first year I was a mom (ie. Warren was 8 months old), we went to Dh's parents, it was mother's day and his mother's bday. I helped DH pick out a great gift for his mother for both occasions and spent my whole weekend there. I got nothing, NADA, not a card, not a Happy Mother's Day nothing. On the way home I was very upset-- He was bewildered. When I finally was able to tell him what was upsetting me, he replied, "You're not my mother, why would I get you anything?" and he was serious-- didn't occur to him that he needed to do something because I was the mother of his beautiful son! And pretty much he's continued to think it's a stupid holiday for him to do anything for me.... and sometimes I wonder why my son's are so literal. HA!

I've just come to expect nothing-- oh, well!

Betsy

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-2006
Wed, 05-07-2008 - 9:51pm
Another person who agrees with everyone Amy.
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-25-2007
Thu, 05-08-2008 - 4:51pm
My Dad told me shortly after our first child was born " Before you have kids you can jump from in-law to in-law, but after you have kids the holidays belong to you, and you should start your own family traditions" I've always thought that was such a cool thing to say. My husband's family doesn't see it that way, but tough. I'm proud of our little traditions and when my kids talk about them with such fond affection I know my dad was right. We'll visit on Saturday, but Sunday belongs to me.
Avatar for chowderheadmom
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-30-2003
Thu, 05-08-2008 - 8:29pm

Oh hon, I totally know how you feel. (I swear we share in-laws.)

As a matter of fact, my husband is Aspie and ADHD, and we're actually going out for Mother's Day, but not for me! He's taking out his stepmother (Mother's Day) and his Father (his birthday), and screw what I would like! (I'd like a nice quiet day at home just lounging with my kids.)

I never get anything (I don't mean material) for Mother's Day other than grief. He doesn't plan ahead for them and take them shopping early (he'll take them to the Dollar store the day before Mother's Day). they spend their own money -and spend time earning a little so they *can* get me something nice. In fact, Kasia (my 10 year old) has saved her tooth fairy money so she can take me for ice cream. Bug is only 7 and is my Aspie, so she doesn't quite get that mom's supposed to come before the toy she wants, but I *understand* and I expect that from her.

Him, not so much.

BTW, we're spending money on everyone (his sister, brother in law and nephew are invited also), and we really don't have the money to do so. This will come out of bill money. Meanwhile, I can't do anything with my mother because she's 200 miles away. Well I can send her something, but I'm really resentful that I think of her and it comes out of my own account (after all she IS MY mother), but he takes bill money to spend on his family. Stuff for his dad and his stepmother should come out of HIS account (but he doesn't plan ahead so he has nothing in his account. Boo hoo.).

I know my kids will try to do something special, but it really irks me that my husband won't help them at all because he's wrapped up in his own warped reality. (His family treats him like crap and he goes out of his way to do this. I just don't get it.) And like you said, I really don't' want to spend time with people who treat ME like crap and make me want to just smack them.

But you know what? I keep repeating it and one day it's going to sink in. Father's Day is payback for Mother's Day. (You either make my Mother's Day a decent one or you can kiss patootie for Father's Day. Heh.)




Edited 5/8/2008 8:33 pm ET by chowderheadmom


Got something to say? Email me!

Pages