Pet Question

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-21-2006
Pet Question
5
Tue, 03-20-2007 - 12:04pm

Hi all...

One more question. we have a busy house 3 kids, 1 OLD cat, 1 rabbit and 3 fire bellied toads... however, my son can't really interact with any of them. I've been considering getting him a dog to help with his interactions. He will be 9 this year and is fond of smaller dogs, he likes a large dog in our neighborhood who sits and gives his paw and is interested in training dogs (we've taken out books about it, etc.).

I wondered if anyone has tried this with any of their older aspie's? I think he'd find a sense of pride and accomplishment working with a dog (we would invest in him taking the dog to training school... and then he would work at home on it).

Another reason is that simply we're a blended family (coming up on a year), and the cat was theirs, the house was theirs, the bunny is now my step-daughter's pet (my boys are leary of it to begin with), and surprisingly my aspie son who knows almost all there is to know about frogs and loves drawing frogs and playing with plastic frogs... he never even glances at the toads unless I happen to mention it! I kind of feel like he'll feel some sense of ownership in something if he has his OWN pet, so to speak (yes, I know, we'll be walking it, but he would be responsible for feeding it and brushing it and training it).

Any thoughts?

Thanks

Nicole

ps - thanks for all the thoughts on the melatonin too!

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-07-2003
Tue, 03-20-2007 - 1:42pm

Hmmm. I'm the wrong person to ask 'cus we got a dog a little over a year ago in the hopes that the dog would be beneficial to our Aspies, but I'm still not sure whether it was a good thing or not. Dh and the kids begged for a dog for years, but I never really wanted a dog; however, as soon as I heard it might be beneficial to the kids, we ran out and got one. It turns out the dog has more anxieties than the kids, is on doggie Prozac, and has attached herself to me. The kids like the idea of having a dog, but they don't really interact with her (like your frogs).

I think it depends on your ds. Does he tend towards being willing to accept that kind of responsibility? Are you willing to push him, or would it just start daily fights? The dog ignores my 8 & 12yo AS kids when they try to control her 'cus they don't know how to be the boss of the dog, but the 3yo will drag the 50-lb dog all over the house and order it around 'cus the 3yo isn't afraid to take control of the dog. I do think that if we'd gotten a little bit smaller dog that my AS kids would interact better. Most of the kids can't even take the dog for a walk 'cus they can't control her (she's anxious about being away from me and tries to run home), so I also get that task. The one time I had the kids help clean up dog poop, the 8yo ended up getting it smeared in the yard and on himself. Feeding the dog also gets left to me 'cus everyone forgets to feed her AND they forget that the dog has to go to the bathroom right after eating, so on the rare occasion that they do try to help, they offer her food at the wrong time, just before we need to leave the house.

On the other hand, when ds gets in a big tantrum, I'll make the dog kiss him all over, and ds recovers from his tantrums faster. I'll also sentence the kids to pet the dog or something like that when they're grumpy, and it ends up making them feel better. The kids are a little more confident around animals now where they used to be much more nervous around animals. I like having the dog at home for those times I leave my kids on their own. Our dog is certainly not a guard dog, but she's big and noisy, and people don't want to take their chances with her (even tho' she's scared of her own shadow).

I think if the kids took more care of the dog, she'd attach herself to them more, and they'd enjoy each other's company more, but since I do most of the care, the dog hangs out with me the most. I think over time I'll be able to transfer more responsibility to the kids, and they'll enjoy each other even more (I hope). Right now it's all I can do to get them to respond when the dog scratches to go outside, but at least that's better than it was a year ago, too!

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-07-2003
Tue, 03-20-2007 - 3:17pm

I personally think having a dog is a good thing for aspies. We ghave 2 collies that we adopted as adult dogs. Josh enjoys them. He is 12 and he helps to feed them all by himself and has it down pat but just needs to be reminded to do it but he will do it. Putting it in the dish, wetting the food and putting in the wet.He also will clean up the back yard. He walks Sammy because, Sammy's nature is good and other than a stubborn streak which the dog will sit down on you. Prince is harder to walk only because he tends to go a little faster and will go off on cars passing him by. Both dogs will listen to Josh when he tries to train them with the basics. And they do interact with Josh. And Josh interacts with them. See dogs want love and attention and will sense if they needed in certain ways.

The best thing to do before you get a dog is to make sure the breed you get is going to be good for kids. Usually retrievers, labs or collies etc. If you go for an older dog go through a rescue group. Tell them what your needs are and they will look for a dog that will match with what you want. If you go for a puppy, make sure you know where it came from(not a puppy mill).

Dogs, I find are pretty forgiving in nature and will responsed to love.
Good Luck
Rina

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-12-2005
Tue, 03-20-2007 - 4:31pm

I think it depends partially on the specific animal in question. We've avoided having pets at all until recently because most animals develope mental problems of their own around my family. But we recently got adopted by a cat. We didn't adopt her, she adopted us, and has turned out to be a perfect fit for our family. I own a show/stud red angora but he doesn't live with us because my kids scare the heck out of him. But this new lady cat just loves my kids. First feline (or animal for that matter) that actually LIKES them and doesn't mind getting followed around everywhere or pulled along by her tail (although I'm trying to put a stop to that).

I think some animals are just more patient than others and better equipped emotionally/mentally to handle our kids. I have a friend with a grandson with CP & TS and she went through 4 different digs before she found one that really got along well with her grandson.

Just a thought.

~Candes

APOV on Autism

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-20-2003
Tue, 03-20-2007 - 10:11pm

It definetly depends on the animal itself.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 06-03-2006
Wed, 03-21-2007 - 8:06am
the right dog could be an asset. smaller dogs tend to be terriers or hunters. my boston terrier attacked my brother's pet rabit. not a pretty scene. i think dogs in genral are a great idea.