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| Thu, 03-20-2008 - 6:43pm |
I am hiding here so I don't kill son. At least for a bit.
For some reason this one behavior really really bothers me.
I went to pick up Mike from school today because I needed him home earlier to get him to his rehearsal and feed him a snack. It is the last day before spring break and he was taking home a blown egg he made today. Well the glue started coming off the string and he started to freak. So I told him to let me see and I would fix it. When he starts to freak like that he usually ends up breaking whatever it is and getting more upset.
Well of course while I am fixing it he starts to scream at me "Your Breaking it GOD DAMM IT!" etc.
His school is in a business park. This was outside and he is nearly my height. Needless to say we turned more than a few heads. I said to him "try again" and he did talkmore calmly. That is our cue that he needs to change his words.
Well his teacher walks over and gives him this big lecture on how he can't talk to his mother that way. She was half the park away of course but she comments how everyone heard his behavior. I know she was trying to help but I was FRIGGEN mortified.
So Mike is in trouble. I am not talking to him right now because that is one behavior in public that I just cannot stand and I will kill him if I talk to him. Now I have to go drop him at rehearsal. Thank god he is gone for 2 hours because I may be able to forgive him by the time I pick him up.
Renee




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Alexis,
I couldn't agree with you more!
I have absolutely nothing constructive to add except my empathy and and a cyber glass of wine. This is something that drives me nuts too, and the irony of the fact that it drives me nuts to the point where I feel like screaming at DS does not escape me!! I just keep saying, with my teeth gritted, 'that is not acceptable behaviour' over and over until he calms down.
The only consolation I can offer is that I think it *does* get better with age, maturity and experience for them. It is never going to go away and not be an issue. But I can certainly see that DS is better at this than he used to be, so I am hopeful that there will continue to be some progress, and I am sure Mike is the same way.
Hope by the time you read this things are calmer.
Kirsty, mum to Euan (9, Asperger's) Rohan (5, NT) and Maeve (2, NT)
Hi Renee,
and of course it is cool to be real angry for awhile. You will cool down eventually, and maybe Mike will be a teeny step closer to learning that he has to watch out for this behavior/trigger/escalation, etc.. I do keep Malcolm on a short stick with this stuff and for the most part, we don't run into it, but then again, Malcolm's hormones haven't ramped up that much yet!!!!! Still, any day now, I figger. If Malcolm gets into a school and is more away from us, plus hormones, well, we shall see where he's at under lots more stress, etc. and with more independence!
Just remember that YOU have no reason to be mortified, this was Mike's behavior and really, he is responsible for it and for learning to control himself ... with your help, of course, and the help of his teachers. He didn't go off at the teacher, right? That's good! Malcolm might have, if the teacher didn't handle the lecture well. Many of the professionals in our lives right now would have definitely been able to interfere and make an impression on Malcolm, always good to have strong assistance from teachers and therapists.
And it HAS really helped Malcolm to be in a long-term relationship with a psychotherapist, but I think you had Mike in therapy for awhile, right? We have found that Malcolm having his own "feeling doctor" has helped Cliff and I in that we don't have to feel as totally responsible for his learning in the emotional awareness department, as Malcolm's Dr. Nancy has that covered...
Anyways, (((((hugs))))) to you. You made me chuckle, because Malcolm also will get real overly affectionate and SUPER well-behaved when Mom loses her temper HA!
Sara
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