Positive taspects raising an Aspie

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Registered: 06-25-2003
Positive taspects raising an Aspie
8
Sat, 10-08-2005 - 10:22am

I thought it would be nice to start a little thread about the positive aspects of raising an Aspie / Autie child.

We tend to raise the *problems* here a lot, because thoese are the things we struggle with and need advice on, but what things do you find easy? What thngs do your kids do, that make the jaws of NT mothers drop?

Please share.

-Paula

-Paula

visit my blog at www.onesickmother.com
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Registered: 06-25-2003
Sat, 10-08-2005 - 10:48am

Crumbs! I really made a mess of that message header! LOL

Bedtime is a snap in our house. We are in a total routine: baths/showers, jammies on. little bit of a movie or TV. Then five minute warning, set the timer, the alarm beeps and both kids and the dog all obediently march off: The kids to the bathroom to brush their teeth and take their flouride and the dog up to his "bed" in Peter's room. (Suspect the dog is Aspie too!)

Limited diet and Aspie routine make it easy to cook for my kids. There aren't too many things (or combinations) they will eat. OK this is a drawback too, but it makes it wasy to shop and throw together a meal in a hurry!

Once 'rules' are established for a new environment or setting (including contingency), we can usually do OK.

Because it has been drilled into them: My kids are good at standing in line, waiting their turn, not using hands, and saying "please" and "thank you".

My Autie DS (7) is great with babies and smaller kids. He really looks out for them.

Fierce little boy hugs: two arms, one leg (sometimes two legs!), a head and a big squeeeeeeeze!

They always wash their hands after using the bathroom (although DD -afraid of the noise, needs reminders to flush!)

My son never forgets names: People or places. I often rely on him to bail me out, because I am hopeless with them!

My DS has an astonishing visual memory and sense of direction, and I have no sense of direction. He can remember the way to once-visited (months previously) Drs offices etc (provided I managed to get there directly the first time!)

Its a sensory thing, but my Aspie daughter (5) loves to hug, rock, snuggle and cuddle.

I's sure there are more, but that's all I can think of right now.

-Paula

-Paula

visit my blog at www.onesickmother.com
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-03-2004
Sat, 10-08-2005 - 12:33pm

Dear Paula,

Nice idea for a thread. Much of mine is similar to yours, too (funnty thing that, hmmm)

Well, the way Malcolm loves is fierce and loyal and complete! His love glows and shines, and there is no way, no matter how many odd looks others kids give him, that I am likely to redirect his sudden outbursts of throwing his arms around me and kissing me hard, or stroking my cheek softly and saying "Oh Mom, you're so sweet..." Old ladies on the bus and subway just plotz all over when he does that, one almost started crying. And he is fierce and loving about all his family and many friends.

Routines, yup, easy when Malcolm is in a good place, mildly stressful when he's stressed but do-able. Getting ready for school, going to bed, bathroom procedures, doing homework. Those things we have set up and learned go well, even when there are blips in the road. Malcolm is also OK at improvising around those structures, nice.

Remembering names and places, esp. how to get there. He's my roadmap.

His humour is startling and fast, catches me off guard. He is constantly re-startling my friends with how funny and clever he is, also how unusual and cutting-edge brilliant his humour is. His aunt is a brilliant standup artist, I feel that he could possibly do that well himself (if he didn't want to be an author).

He can read anything and do math in his head at speed of light, THAT can come in very handy. This makes mothers of NTs' jaws drop.

I bet there are other things that just don't occur to me at the moment. He is an adventure every single day, albeit not one I'm always quite up for...

yours,

Sara
ilovemalcolm

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Registered: 03-26-2003
Sat, 10-08-2005 - 3:52pm

Well for one thing they spell better than paula

"Positive taspects raising an Aspie"

(hehehehehehe) more later when I can type a long one.

How bout the positive aspects of being married to one. That is kind of what I need right now.

Renee

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iVillage Member
Registered: 08-26-2005
Sat, 10-08-2005 - 11:52pm
Paula,
What a great idea! As hard as it gets at times there are moments when it's very cool to have a child who has a totally different perspective on things. Like today, when I came into the kitchen I found Jake with his hand in the fishbowl, when I asked him what he was doing he replied" I'm feeling the fish" so I asked how they felt and he said"like fish mom".They are the moments that make it all worthwhile.
Teresa
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Registered: 06-25-2003
Sun, 10-09-2005 - 10:37am

Teresa,

ROFL!!!!!

That totally cracked me up! Thanks! I slpipped a disc yesterday and am humbled today and I needed a laugh.

-Paula

-Paula

visit my blog at www.onesickmother.com
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Registered: 03-27-2003
Sun, 10-09-2005 - 1:14pm

Sam loves veggies. I'm not sure this has anything to do with AS, but he'll eat just about anything that's a veggie - broccoli, cauliflower, cucumbers, red peppers.....whatever.

Because we've been working on empathy for a while now, since pre-dx he's really good with naming emotions and telling me when something is annoying or frustrating. He'll even point out when I'm getting frustrated.

Chrystee

Photobucket www.idlehand
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Registered: 03-31-2003
Sun, 10-09-2005 - 1:41pm

I agree about the routines: they make things like bedtime a snap.

As long as I prepare Sylvia well ahead of time for whatever situation we'll be in, I find that she often behaves better than "typical" kids (at birthday parties, or the grocery store, for example).

When she's interested in something, her attention span is absolutely amazing. At playgroups, she'll amuse herself by quietly spelling things with refrigerator magnets for 1/2 hour while the other kids are screaming and tearing around and causing mass destruction, lol!

She doesn't automatically warm up to people -- as my mom says, she makes you "work" for her love and her trust. So when she DOES warm up to you, and gives you that gorgeous smile, it's the most amazing feeling in the world!

Jennifer :)

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Registered: 12-24-2004
Sun, 10-09-2005 - 3:39pm

Great idea for a thread! I've been thinking about this a lot myself lately.

Cassian is super affectionate and loving. At an age when other kids are starting to get embarrassed about showing affection, he doesn't care if we hug or kiss in public.

He's a great orator and singer - - no stagefright whatsoever! We think he's destined for the stage.

Excellent verbal memory. Can remember anything.

It's a cinch to correct him. He doesn't have any embarrassment about this, just goes on in a matter-of-fact sort of way.

No problem getting him to do homework. School work is play for him. He's very advanced academically. We never had to teach him to read, and he picks up math and other things quickly.

No peer pressure problems.

That's all I can think of for now.

Suzi