Potty Cake

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-28-2007
Potty Cake
1
Fri, 09-14-2007 - 9:43pm

Had to use the cake emopticon, lol. Here's the email I sent Cian's pre-K teacher....still fuming btw.

We read your note as to Cian's pottying and your use of delayed gratification, (the cake). We have to say we were surprised that you would think such a tactic could be considered a positive reinforcer.

You used the term "wilfull." Cian does not have a wilfull personality, as such my husband and I genuinely believe the lack of interest in the potty has more to do with his neurology and pathology. He appears to not to feel (a) when he needs to go and (b) doesn't understand his pull up is soiled once he has gone. He will happily stay in a soiled pullup for hours on end, until someone points it out to him. This is believed to be a sensory issue as well.

Cian was upset when asked about the day in question and said he'd been a "bad boy." When gently pressed he said he was "bad" as he wouldn't go pee in the potty and didn't get cake. Thus Cian's perceived experience of the incident is he was "bad."

Whereas I do understand your frustration with Cian's inability to use the potty right now I would respectfully ask that you not use negative enforcement to reach this goal. Forcing any issue with a child that is not emotionally or neurologically ready will only delay him further. Lets stick with positive reinforcement for now. If the issue is he won't sit for very long, perhaps you could use a timer/buzzer that goes off after 60 seconds and then stretch the time out slowly, so he gets used to sitting there until he eventually produces.

On a separate note, we finally received Cian's psychological evaluation and he has scored in the high probability of Asperger's syndrome. Along with that his IQ scores are all over the place. 99 verbal, 160 non-verbal and 138 memory. His average IQ score was 133, but I'm sure you will agree the 61 point gap between verbal and non-verbal is curious and almost worrisome as this has a heavy impact on his learning style and his a-typical behaviors.>

what ya think?
Dee

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iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-2006
In reply to: roanmom
Fri, 09-14-2007 - 10:11pm

That's an excellent letter!