Potty Training....ARRRGGGGHHHHHH

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-24-2003
Potty Training....ARRRGGGGHHHHHH
13
Tue, 08-12-2003 - 7:07pm
I havent been around much. Been sick with an upper respiratory and i am 11 weeks pregnant now. Pretty miserable.

But i have also been trying to potty train this kid. She is 3 1/2 now. And i think she should be able to handle this. She starts Montessori on Sept 2nd, and she "has" to be potty trained, or atleast mostly trained.

Catie will remove her diaper and pee on my carpet, she will remove a dirty diaper and ground it into my carpet, and she will pee on things like pillows and teddy bears. So, i am thinking it is potty training time.

GRRRRR. This kid... i have tried pull ups. I have tried panties with all different characters on them. I have tried yorks peppermint patties (her favorite), i have tried fruit snacks, i have tried bribing her with computer time, i have tried telling her she can call Daddy at work on the phone. Nothing works. We hang out in the bathroom for 30 minutes at a time, only for her to get up and go into the living room and pee in front of the television.

I have TWO weeks to get this kid potty trained, or atleast where she can ACT potty trained for 3 hours out of the day. I am soooo frustrated, i don't know what else to do. We have physically showed her how to use the potty, myself, my husband, even the neighbors 4 year old daughter. She knows all the words, she uses them, and she can physically go through the motions. But she has never actually GONE in the potty.

HELP!!!! I have a 75 dollar retainer that we will lose if she isnt trained in 2 weeks. Anyone else have any ideas? It is obvious i don't want to spank, i don't want this to be a megative experience. But we live in an apartment with new carpet, and i have a 1500.00 couch i have now had to scrub BMs out of. ANY help would GREATLY be apprectiated.

I am exhausted, and being pregnant, my patience is already shot with walking her in there every 20 minutes only to sit on the floor for 30 minutes, only to spend the following 10 minutes scrubbing furniture and carpets.

Helen

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-28-2003
Tue, 08-12-2003 - 7:46pm
this is what I did for both my kids and it worked great. It is the Rosemond method (some PhD). Let her go around naked for 72 hours. He calls it the 72 hour/$72 method because, you will have to get a carpet cleaner after. My kids could not stand to have the pee and poop go down their legs and they didn't have to fidget with getting their cloths up and down. In both cases, at the end of three days I put them back in clothes, and they were over the hump. However, I didn't have the courage to try it at night. But I would let them fall asleep w/out a diaper and as soon as they awoke, off it came.

This is a non-spectrum thing. I just heard him on NPR, and it was "that time", so I gave it a shot.

HTH

Sio

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-17-2003
Tue, 08-12-2003 - 8:05pm
This method worked for me too, ds was about 3.5, and it only took about 2 weeks Potty training, shorter period than I expected. also, make them help clean up the mess when they made an accident, I made my ds dab the carpet with paper towels so he remember that it's easier to go to the potty than having an accident.

Goodluck,

C.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-24-2003
Tue, 08-12-2003 - 8:16pm
Hi Sio,

I have heard of this method, and i would love to try it if i had hard wood floors. Unfortunately, i live in an apartment with brand new light tan carpet. And they charge 8 bucks a stain when we move out. I can call them and ask them if they can give me the number of their carpet cleaners, but i know when we transfered from our 2 bedroom to the 3 bedroom in this same complex, they said they preferred tennants not have the carpets cleaned themselves, to let the office do it. So, i feel i am kinda stuck. But i will call the office and see what they say.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-24-2003
Tue, 08-12-2003 - 9:55pm
Update:

After 20 minutes in the bathroom with Dad playing games with her, She FINALLY started to go in the potty. He was SO excited he yelled YEAH YEAH PEE PEE, and she stopped! ROFL, i ran in to the bathroom, we started dancing and singing and clapping and hugging and kissing and she was hugging and kissing both of us, but now she won't FINISH going! LOL, DH said "i think i freaked her out, so for now on, no celebrating until she is DONE pee peeing."

But she did start yelling "I pee peed!! Yeah, i did it!!" So i am hoping she will pick up on this now. :crossing my fingers:

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Wed, 08-13-2003 - 2:20am
Helen,

Sounds like you may be on your way now, but I wanted to add how I pt'd my ds at 3 1/2 (he's now 7 1/2) pretty much for the same reasons you are. I used a book called "Toilet Training in Less than a Day" Basically, I gave him ALOT to drink. I mean every few minutes, I was giving him some juice so he had to go alot and then I took him to the toilet every 15 minutes. The first day, he invariably peed himself after about 13 minutes, by the end of the that day though, he had gone in the potty once (he'd NEVER done it before this, even though his co-triplet sisters had been trained for months.) When I took him to the potty that time, he said, "But I didn't pee" He honestly had it backwards. Anyway, after 3 days, he was going and pretty much pee trained (BM's started out great, but took longer, but that was our fault for teaching him to stand up to pee.)

Anyway, good luck and if you need to try this method, the book was in our local book store.

Terri

Terri, mom of 12.5 yo triplets in 7th grade - ds w/ AS, 1 dd/ dyslexia and 1 dd gifted
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-28-2003
Wed, 08-13-2003 - 3:05am
Helen,

One more little thing that helped me a lot, I used Spot Shot on the rug (still do for the dogs). After spraying some spot shot, I used granular resolve. This got rid of the stains from the BM's and soaked up a lot of the pee. And after it was all over, I just rented a rug doctor from the grocery store. But I don't know if the rug doctor will work for you! Being pregnant and the landlord might not like it!!!! I wish I could lend you my Hoover home vac.

My mantra was, no more day time diapers!

And another thing, the only time ds regressed was right after I brought his sister home from the hospital. It only lasted for like a day. Once dd got it, she never regressed (Although dd still occasionally has a night time accident, like tonight, which is why I am up at 3:00 in the morning). Have you had a chance to stop and think of where the public potties are in places you go on a regular basis? I do remember as my kids were older, I knew their "diapie needs to be changed" schedule, so I'd stopped needing to take them into public potties. But once they get into the pottie thing, it was much more successful to be able to just run through that home Depot or Sears straight to the potty rather then stopping to ask a sales clerk for directions.

It does sound like you're getting over the hump!

Sio

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-24-2003
Wed, 08-13-2003 - 11:08am
Hi Sio,

We used to have one of those big 300 dollar steam cleaners. It rocked! I loaned it to my mom, who has two dogs (and had a cat at the time) and she was trying to potty train one of the dogs. Well, i never got it back. She still has it in Texas.

I had thought about getting one of those hand held bissels, but they are about 50 bucks, and we don't have it in the budget this month. We have had alot of things come up, like paying for Caitlin's first month of school. I asked my neighbors and neither of them have a carpet cleaner either.

Sooo, i guess i will have to suck it up and just try it. She woke up this morning with a dry pull up, and i tried to get her to go to the potty, and she still hasnt gone. So, i will just need to be prepared to spend the next several days in the surroundings of my wonderful bathroom! lol

I told my husband, this weekend she is ALL his. He did much better in the 30 minutes he tried then i did all day. They are very close, and she seems to fight with me more cause i am at home with her all day.

For a while after she finally went, he kept saying "Pee pee, where are you???" and she would laugh and repeat it. So, with him, it was more of a game, with me, it is "hurry up, my hips hurt from sitting on this floor, and the room is spinning!!"

i would NOT have chosen to be pregnant during potty training. UGGGGHHHH

Helen

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-23-2003
Wed, 08-13-2003 - 1:33pm
Helen,

I'm right there with you. My DS, Cassian, is 3 yrs 9 mos and still in diapers. He rejects pull-ups vehemently (I think because they slide off him too easily). We have been pt'ing seriously since Cassian was 3 yrs 4 mos, although we did try many times before he was 3 yrs old.

Cassian now understands how to pee in the potty. He will pee on command, but he does not tell us when he has to go. Because he does not tell us, BM's end up in his diaper about 75% of the time. We have tried rewards (videos, fruit snacks, verbal rewards, stickers). Cassian reads at a 2nd grade level, so we have put signs up telling him that he will get fruit snacks if he does a poo in the potty. Cassian has a hard time dressing and undressing and isn't motivated to do this, but we are working on these skills. He is allowed to take a book with him to the potty and will sit for 20 mins or more, reading on the toilet (so cute, I actually took pics and sent them to the grandparents).

I have tried the pants free /diaper free method, but Cassian often acts like he doesn't know he is peeing. With underwear or no pants, pee still ends up on the floor. I think we are battling with the classic cerebellar deficiencies that you see in most autistic kids. Cassian knows he should go in the potty, but he freezes (can't do the motor behavior) or gets so absorbed in something that he doesn't get the signal.

I have not even enrolled him in a preschool class, since we just moved and have to sell our old house before we have the $ to do preschool. However, I know that many preschools will make exceptions for kids who have special ed labels. Have you tried approaching your preschool with this question? If you have a diagnosis for your child, you should qualify for an IEP, and you could put in details of your DD's potty training needs in there. I used to work in a center for disability studies (ironically, I was the psychologist in charge of childhood psychiatric and learning disabities grants). Lots of kids got around certain school rules because their IEP's made such statements about accomodations. Many preschools admit children who are completely incontinent and in wheelchairs.

I know it would be great to think your child could be potty trained before preschool, but the reality is that once the teachers get her in there, they aren't going to kick her out for having toileting accidents. One Montessori School director told me that their school was really just trying to avoid becoming everyone's toilet training teacher. Good luck. Let me know what works for you because I think we are a long way off from being completely potty trained. They were willing to accept kids with disabilities in diapers, if their was a statement on their IEP, outlining goals for toileting independence.

Suzi

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-28-2003
Wed, 08-13-2003 - 1:36pm
Oh, Helen, I know what you mean.

I was pregnant with Linnane when I potty trained Liam. I didn't even want to. He was being cared for by a friend of mine at the time while I was at work, and she told me he really wanted to do it. Every time he saw her daughter do "it", he'd pull off his diapie and "go too" usually as close as he could get to the potty. This was a problem, because then little Elaine would be trying to get to the potty, but Liam would be heading for the same place. Then, like within a day, he refused to wear his diaper. He'd let me put it on him, (always the gentelman),but then he'd sneak it off. Once, we were at dinner and he just started crying while dh and I caught a whiff. Not realizing he was going commando, dh picked him up to change him, and got poop all over his shirt and pants. It was also on the chair.

I just didn't want to do it. But we did, and it was nice when it was over.

With Linnane, it was more like what you're going through, it just had to be done. But once she got the idea, it didn't take long for her to get into it. She was never one of those kids who liked warm squishy poop. Linnane goes to a school with that rule. In their case, as long as things are going along, they don't freak out to much if you're still going through the process. Also, transitions, like going to school, are always hard on kids, so the school shouldn't expect perfection from their kids as they first start school. And, good news, both my kids were better at going potty at school then home. I don't know if it was the peer pressure or the schedule. They just did.

God bless, and good luck!

Sio

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-24-2003
Wed, 08-13-2003 - 5:08pm
Hi Suzi,

Well, Caitlin hasnt officially been diagnosed. We saw a psychologist who seems to think she is really intelligent, but so far behind socially that she is putting off like she has Asperger's. I still hang out on this board because she still fits in here better than anywhere else. You all seem to understand her better, and the things i have to go through with her, than a regular SAHM group would. The ideas you guys have given me have helped, so i stick around.

Her speech is finally coming along pretty well, and her behavior has improved over all, so i can't complain much. But the Psychologist wanted her in Montessori school in June. We put it off until Sept due to funding. The school has said they want her to be potty trained, atleast most of the way. She will only be there 3 hours a day and they don't want to spend any of that time in the restroom trying to get her to potty.

Which is understandable. I am paying 250 bucks a month for them to teach her. I could potty train her for free at home, or put her in a regular daycare for alot less.

The good news is, it is only 3 hours a day. So if i can get her atleast half way there, i think she can pull off the potty part for 3 hours. I told my husband, i just wont give her anything to drink in the mornings! ROFL

Helen

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