Preschool issues
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| Thu, 11-10-2005 - 1:54pm |
Hi. I posted in Sep/Oct about my 4 year old's bad experience in preschool. He got kicked out for acting out, because he was scared and miserable. They suggested we put him in the 3 year old class at another site in the Parks and Rec department preschools (which is the only option for us, financially). So, we did, and everything was soon fine. It's only two days a week, 3 hours a day. He seemed to be doing well.
Well, last week when I picked him up, they told me that he had been refusing to sit on the carpet, and was going around defiantly kicking at things. He began to kick at the door and try to get out. They made him sit on the bench at playground time for that. Sometime around that time, the teacher told me that she thinks he's ready to go into the 4-year-old class. She said he's "testing limits", and needs to be with kids who are his own age and level of development. I agree and disagree. He acts out, in inappropriate ways, when something is troubling him. He needs to learn appropriate ways of communicating, but I don't see any indication that the teacher have the skills to help him learn that. They often say, "We listen to you, so you need to listen to us." But in my observations, I don't think they really do *listen* to the kids at all. As far as putting him in the 4-year-old class goes, I know that it is almost entirely girls, and the time I saw them on the playground, it looked like they had established their little cliques. I wonder how Nathan would do in that situation. Oh, and it's the same teachers, but MWF instead of TTh.
Also, Tuesday was his "Special Day". I got to sit in the class, and I was really unimpressed. The kids all sat on the rug and said nothing while the teachers told them they should all get out and vote, and that not enough people exercise their right to vote. I just wanted to say, "Uh...HELLO?! These kids are THREE!" It was pretty bizarre. Then, since it was Nathan's special day, he got to search for Turkey #8 in the room, and put it on the calendar on Nov. 8. That seemed pretty cool to me, but after he found it, he REFUSED to pick it up. I don't know why. Later on, he refused to sit on the rug because all three purple spots were occupied. The rug has different colored shapes on it for the kids to sit on, and he would only sit on purple. They asked him what his second favorite color was, and he said, "I hate every color except purple." He wouldn't sit down at all. (It reminds me of his brother at age 3, coming into our room at midnight, and sobbing because, "I w-w-want ev-v-verythi-i-ing to be R-R-E-D-D!!!")
I don't think Nathan is on the AS spectrum, but I think there is something up (then again, I didn't suspect David was AS either). I don't know. One thing that may be a factor is that his biggest influence in life (David, 7) is a child with Asperger's and bipolar. He's been pretty stable lately, but when Nathan was 0-2.5, David was undiagnosed and unmedicated...and things were pretty crazy in our house. Nathan observed a lot of rages, uncontrollable silliness, and wildly inappropriate behavior. Nathan seems really sensitive to a lot of things. Like, he's a REALLY picky eater. He won't eat a slice of bread if it has a big air bubble in it, for instance. He refuses most snacks at school, even if he's hungry, because he's such a picky eater.
Anyway...sorry this is so long and rambling. I'm now face with a choice of whether or not to move him to the 4-year-old class. I guess I will. I just am not that pleased with the teachers or program. But, he's starting kindergarten next year, and this is really the only choice. He just seems so unhappy, and when he acts out, it just makes them think he's a bad kid. Part of me wants to forget preschool all together.
Evelyn
