Is this on purpose? or PDD-NOS related?
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|Sun, 06-27-2010 - 1:05pm|
I know all PDD-NOS is very different. My son has a high IQ, but very low processing scores. When he takes tests, he generally scores very well. His overall ITBS tests have run at 94th percentile for the last few years, since he started taking it.
Problem is, if I ask my son to do something he does not feel like doing, he does not do it. This morning, I asked him to put the baby in the high chair and feed him his breakfast. I kept repeating it and then got angry so DS15 yrs old put the baby in the high chair, but then turned back to watch Simpsons. SO, I had the TV turned off so he could turn and feed the baby. I went back to what I was doing (cleaning) but when I came back, DS was off goofing off and DD14 was feeding the baby.
The reason why it is so important to figure out whether it is on purpose or not is this. He wants his drivers license as soon as he turns 16. He actually turns 16 on a Saturday so he will have to wait until Monday. He has already finished drivers ed. I cannot help but feel if he cannot handle a simple chore or do a simple thing he was asked or carry through on things, that he should not be driving.
But there is more. He wants to go to a particular private school this fall. He got in. Like I said, his test scores are high. But, I am afraid he will get there and then just not follow directions. The whole baby feeding thing is just one example of many. None of his IEP accomodations will apply to the school because of the way they are set up. He had no modifications on his IEP. He just had being allowed to type papers, allowed to turn papers in early, and the teacher had to help him break down big projects in to steps with due dates ahead of time so they would be done in time. The private school uses an interactive computer system where he will be typing all day long anyway. Plus, he did not have computer access when he took the entrance exam and the school says his handwriting was fine and his paper was fine. They told me their system actually puts due dates and breaks down projects for him so he will know what to do. Oh, one more thing, he had preferential seating in every class.
The public school is not an option. And suing is not going to solve anything as other parents of children with disabilities who have sued have been locked up in years long battles and are still working their way through the court systems. Texas does not have speedy courts.
Back to the cleaning I was doing when DS15 was supposed to be feeding the baby. I asked him several times to please clean up a particular mess. He never did it. He kept walking away and not doing it. So that is what I was doing at the time. I did at the end asked him if he would rather feed the baby while I cleaned up or clean up the mess while I feed the baby. He said he would rather feed the baby.
Oh, and there is more. DS15 wants to be a lifeguard next summer. Based on what I see of the other lifeguards around here, he can't be any worse. But the point is, he has not made the commitment or hard work I have asked of him to become a lifeguard. I told him it would be best if he made it to the pool most days and practiced his treading and lap swimming and the other skills he was told he would need to pass the lifeguard test. The pool is close to the house and I purchased him a membership. He just never gets around to it. He often is too busy playing video games (or emailing with a particular 15 yr old girl).
If DS15 stays home, he will be doing a distance learning program. I have thoroughly researched it and I think it is an excellent program and he will have success. We have done home study before through a local private school and it really allowed me enough access and control over what he was doing that I could make sure it got done. My hope would be that by the time he graduates in 3 years, that his study habits and organization will be much better, that he will learn to handle that better over the next few years.
What do you think? Do you think he doesn't carry through with things on purpose? Do you think he just needs more training and help? Which school would be best? And the drivers license? Dread!