question...

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-23-2005
question...
7
Fri, 11-02-2007 - 5:53am
hi i just had a question for people with kids who have autism. my daughter almost 3 now was given a "diagnosis" ASD last april at which point she was echoing, not walking, or playing.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
In reply to: bella_heather
Fri, 11-02-2007 - 6:55am

My 10 yo daughter has Aspergers but I think you should go with your gut instinct. Your story somewhat reminds me of my oldest daughter back when she was in kindergarten. It was her first real school experience. I was a single mother and didn't have the money for preschools, daycare, etc. Anyway, it took her awhile to adjust to what was expected but once she understood, she was fine. Shortly after the school year started, her grandma died and she talked about death a lot. It was her first experience with it. They were worried and wanted to do testing. I agreed but then they started pushing. They said she was learning disabled, speech disabled, behavior problems... They said it was so bad I should talk to a psychiatrist and gave me a number to call. I called the psychiatrist and she said the only one with a problem is the special ed person that told me there was a problem. LOL

At the time I accepted the learning and speech disabilities and they worked with her. We would have meetings to talk about progress. They would sit at the table around me and it felt like they were ganging up on me. They would tell me that this is wrong, that is wrong, she can't do this, she can't do that when asked to... but I knew she could do those things. They griped that she held her scissors wrong. They griped that she formed her letters from bottom to top instead of top to bottom. They said she couldn't name the days of the week but I had heard her name them before so I KNEW she could. They insisted she had all these problems. Turns out, she just didn't want to cooperate for THEM. They were pushing her so hard that she just refused to do what they wanted. Like the psychiatrist said, it was THEM that had the problem... not my daughter.

Long story short, I had a complete fit, had everything they had documented erased and had her removed from the special ed program. They were basically just trying to justify their jobs by creating problems where there were none.

If you see nothing wrong at home, go with that. Don't feel pressured to stay in a program that doesn't appear to be right for your daughter.




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Mom to Erin (19) and Haley (10yo Aspie)


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iVillage Member
Registered: 10-23-2005
In reply to: bella_heather
Fri, 11-02-2007 - 8:12am
thanks the thing is its provincially funded so im not sure i can just back out of the program!

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
In reply to: bella_heather
Fri, 11-02-2007 - 9:43am
Hmm... I'm not sure how that all works with the funding. Never dealt with anything like that before. I hope everything works out though! It can be so frustrating when professionals nit pick about things and assume the child can't do something just because they won't do it when they ask them to. :(



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Mom to Erin (19) and Haley (10yo Aspie)


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Mom to Erin (19) and Haley (10yo Asp
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-03-2004
In reply to: bella_heather
Fri, 11-02-2007 - 7:49pm

Hi and welcome! I am not sure what you are questioning exactly, but I do know your daughter is very young and daycare can be an OK place for a child to function when they are happy and comfortable. Therapy is more challenging, and you may see a child with sensitivities not do as well when demands are put on them. And later, formal school can be completely overwhelming ina way daycare and preschool never was.

At least this was certainly true for my own son. I was shocked to find out how delayed his therapists considered him at the same age, 3, when we didn't see it. And now looking back at videotapes, I am still surprised at how "normal" looking he was ... but the therapists were correct in our case. He had delays related to autistic spectrum disorder, he is just considered borderline and we were lucky that he was caught, as in many parts of the world he would not have been. he played happily by himself and liked other children very much and seemed very social. At that age, most children are still playing parallel play, so he just wasn't so unusual. And as he was a happy boy, and had lots of language early ... well, later we were so grateful that we had him in therapeutic preschool plus other services esp. OT for sensory issues.

I am glad the seizure medication works for her, but you should also know that as our children get older and demands, esp. socially, get higher, a child even slightly on the spectrum can get more and more anxious, bringing out more symptoms such as echoing, stims, etc. I would always err on the side of caution when dealing with a possible ASD ... there are times our son, now 10, seems "cured", and for months and months even, and then something causes anxiety and I see where he is on the spectrum.

When she is social, who is that with? Is it with the other children? Other teachers? You and your husband? Is she working with the same therapists now at daycare as she was before at home? I have been in the situation of replacing therapists who were not working out for us several times, that is hard but sometimes necessary.

The change of her social comfort may have come from more than the seizure medication, unless of course it happened overnight when the medication was introduced. At such a young age, there can be rapid growth when therapy alone is applied, that was also true for us.

These are just some thoughts I had reading your post. Anyways, I HTH. This is a great board for information and support, so I hope you stick around, let us get to know you, even if your daughter is not on the autistic spectrum. She sounds like a cutie-pie!

yours,

Sara

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-25-2003
In reply to: bella_heather
Fri, 11-02-2007 - 8:24pm

It could be that the therapists are not a good personality fit with your daughter. Before you consider terminating services, it may be a good idea to request a personnel change and see if your daughter relates better to a new person.

-Paula

visit my blog at www.onesickmother.com
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-23-2005
In reply to: bella_heather
Sat, 11-03-2007 - 8:09am
thats what ive been thinking too in the summer she did have it at home as opposed to daycare but her relationship with the workers were amazing!

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-25-2003
In reply to: bella_heather
Sat, 11-03-2007 - 11:49am

At 3yo she should transition from Early Intervention to the school district.

-Paula

visit my blog at www.onesickmother.com