Questions for the homeschoolers here

Avatar for kingalex
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Questions for the homeschoolers here
6
Tue, 02-14-2006 - 7:09pm

If I remember correctly, there are several homeschoolers here. I'm curious - is your reason for homeschooling because of your ds or dd's special needs, or is it something you planned to do all along? Are you able to receive any services from the public school system if you homeschool (or is that a state-by-state thing)? What kind of activities or homeschooling networks are you involved in to provide socialization for your child(ren)?

I'm asking all these questions, because as you know, I'm not overly-thrilled with Alex's new school system. It's not horrible, but I know there's much better out there. My biggest concern is anticipating middle school (he's in 3rd grade now). It's crossed my mind many times to consider homeschooling him once he reaches middle school. I have no doubt that I could do a good job homeschooling him (he responds very well to me instructing him), but am concerned mostly about the socialization part of it. Like many Aspies, Alex wants SO badly to have friends, but doesn't have the social skills. I certainly don't want to hinder his chance to learn these skills. This is one thing I'm really stressing with his teachers and resource teachers; to work with him on social skills. Also, we live in a pretty rural area and there's not a lot going on. Possibly a small homeschooling network somewhere, but certainly not any that are geared towards kids on the spectrum. Would love to hear your homeschooling stories!

Thanks-

Laurie

Laurie

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-03-2004
Wed, 02-15-2006 - 6:33am

Dear Laurie,

I am not yet homeschooling, but I have to say that I am ready to for middle school if we do not find our son a placement where he can thrive. Barely surviving day to day is not good enough for us. And middle school is a rough social environment, period, so we are not willing to place our son with too many children and not enough supervision where he can be tormented. Socialization of a demeaning and overwhelming kind does noone much good, imho.

We currently have ds socializing lightly in activities such as chess club, Tae Kwondo, and through many arranged playdates (he is also in 3rd). It is an issue, but my feeling is that teenage years are very important, and hormones mostly have to be lived through. If we do homeschool, I feel we will look for homeschool groups and other organized outside activities for more participation. And we will certainly continue to get together with friends often.

I don't know if there are too many homeschoolers here, although I'm pretty sure there are some. The homeschool board here in ivillage is very active, light on special needs as far as I can tell, but also there are a few there. I lurk there occasionally.

Any ways, I relate.

Sara
ilovemalcolm

Avatar for stephsmom98
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-28-2003
Wed, 02-15-2006 - 10:39am

Hi Laurie:

I'm Debbie and I homeschool my daughter Stephanie who is an only, age 7 1/2 and is in second grade.

DH and I had planned to homeschool all along. We started her in preschool and are still homeschooling (well, actually a lifelong learner ;) DD still doesn't have an official diagnosis. But she was dx with epilepsy in kindergarten and now she has been having weird things go on and the doctors think she has Asperger's and possibly ADD. Seeing that she does have trouble concentrating, with fine motor skills, some parculiar ways, needs medicine three times a day (but we can work with that if at a school and getting overwhelmed in groups, we are glad she is homeschooled as we feel the one-on-one attention is good for her and she doesn't have problems learning.

She likes to be with other kids, but she isn't asking to see them or wanting friends. She is kind of a loner and in a group she'll sit with them, but won't offer too much or go right up to them and talk. She opens up much more with adults. DH says it just could be that she is home with us most of the time. But we do belong to a homeschool group (we live in a mid-size city so it is easier to hook up) where we get together once or twice a week and an occassional field trip. She also has Wednesday nights at church and Sunday morning. She goes to swim class, but she has lots of fears and anxieties so she does private lessons. She also gets together with a friend or two once inawhile, but she doesn't have too many friends. It does depend on the child's personality. DD is more of a loner and quiet, but she likes people.

I agree with Sara that socialization isn't right if it is in a demeaning and overwhelming way. My brother and his wife thought though that my DD should learn to deal with that in kids and teachers because that is real life. I don't necessarily agree here. DD has anxieties so as it is, she doesn't need to get more from other people. She is in a nuturing environment with us and we do get her out and I guide her through the socialization when I am with her. I had a talk with her teachers at church and they know of her problems and help.

But I can tell you more about socialization after next week. Stephanie will see a child psychiatrist next week and we'll see what that doctor has to say. Her neurologist suggested she see one and her pediatrician agreed. We went to see another pediatrician for more advice, and he said she would probably need extensive therapy and we could get that from the school district. But we don't know about that yet until we see the psychiatrist. I am not sure how that works with homeschoolers, but once I know more I can relay to you more information.

I wish you the best with your decisions. I hope I made sense. If you have any further questions, don't hesitate to ask me.

You could check with his doctor or the school system for aides or therapy to help him if you decide to homeschool. You can check with the state homeschool group too to see what they offer.

Keep us updated.

Debbie

Debbie, Mom to my "only" Stephanie
Avatar for kingalex
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Wed, 02-15-2006 - 1:23pm

Thank you all for your responses. I, too, agree that "negative" socialization definitely would have a worse impact, and IMO, so much of that is prevalent in middle school. While so many kids can tune it out, Alex is quite the opposite. He's gotten into trouble several times this year because he lashes back at kids that tease him (and he doesn't usually know what is playful teasing vs. cruel teasing). He's also gotten into trouble because some of the older kids pick on him and talk him into saying bad words (most of which he has no idea what they mean).

Thanks, and I'll check into my state's homeschooling sites. If anyone else knows about receiving services from the public schools while homeschooling, let me know!

Laurie

Laurie

Avatar for springolife
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-09-2003
Thu, 02-16-2006 - 10:06am

I wanted to invite you to join a homeschool group online for homeschool families and prospective homeschool families who have children diagnosed or undiagnosed with PDD-NOS, AS, HFA, or classic autism. ASLearningATHome@yahoogroups.com We have a website but it was down a little while (might be back up, they're considering switching servers so I don't know.)

I have AS. I was homeschooled from fourth through graduation. We didn't know about AS, but there were problems with my teacher and my mom decided to homeschool my sister and I. I was so happy to be out of the school system. Even though I went to a private school I still had lots of problems with the students and the teachers. I was also bored. Homeschooling was the best thing my mom has ever done for me!

Now I have a daughter in preschool with AS. My husband and I had already planned on homeschooling before we found out that my daughter has AS (I was undiagnosed myself.) Now it seems silly not to homeschool, knowing how difficult it is for children on the spectrum to thrive in a traditional school enviroment.

My daughter was in ECI until her third birthday. Her therapist was supposed to find out if the school provides services to homeschoolers, but she never did. I do know some on the yahoogroup listed above that part time school and part time homeschool, so I guess it is possible.

As for socialization in school- it's not likely to hapen. The older he gets the more difficult it will be to tolerate the teasing and pranks. Just keep in mind that school is for education not socialization and those on the autistic spectrum have great difficult in large groups as it is- without the mean kids and social anxieties.

I was a member of a regular homeschool co-op until tenth grade. I went once a week. I also was a member of a church club (AWANAs) and youth group and sunday school and had plenty of socialization. Now, I have to admit that I still have problems making and keeping friends even though I want them. However, I don't think it would have been any better in school. My mother in law says that I would have had more friends if I had been exposed to more children, but how many children would that require? On average I was around 60 children a week. I can't imagine that putting me in a group of several thousand would improve the odds any.

I went to a small college for two years. I made several friends while I was there, although they were all 'outcasts' as well. We called ourselves The Castaways. People build friendships on commonalities, and being a freak or weirdo or geek is deffinietly something we found in common. You will probably find this to be true of your son.

I'd be happy to answer any questions you may have!
Sarah

Avatar for kingalex
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Thu, 02-16-2006 - 3:55pm

Thank you all for your input. And Sarah, I will check out that website.

I'm going to do a lot of research. There are a lot of things to consider; mostly can we afford it. Although I'm not working right now, I think we're going to really be struggling financially if I don't go back to part-time work again soon. But Alex is my number 1 concern, so if need be, we'll make it work.

Thanks again!
Laurie

Laurie

Avatar for springolife
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-09-2003
Sun, 02-19-2006 - 1:38pm

My mom worked as a nanny while she homeschooled us and worked in a paid position as a nursery coordinator in our church until we left that church. As for curiculem, some years we used curiculem the public schools had disguarded (ask the principle of a local school who is in charge of the warehouse and the curiculem.) We also used the library alot.

Sarah T