Questions from a newbie

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-11-2010
Questions from a newbie
4
Tue, 04-13-2010 - 3:00pm

A few questions for those of you who have more experience. My dd was diagnosed last week, we don't even have the formal diagnosis yet.

As we are drowning in a sea of co-pays, I have found myself wondering if there is anything that can be done. I did call our insurance, our co-pays do not go toward our out-of-pocket maximum. Every time we walk into an office, it's $20. That didn't used to seem like a big deal, until we started having at least 1 co-pay every week. Not only are we dealing with the PDD-NOS, my dd also has Amblyopia (lazy eye) and sees a ped opth regularly. Just wondering if there is any help or tricks to dealing with these costs. Are co-pay something that can be claimed on taxes at the end of the year? I'm already going to speak to her therapist to see if we can go every other week with her and the psychologist so we're only seeing one each week.

I have told my daughter's kindergarten teacher about the diagnosis, anyone else I should tell at the schools?

What do you tell other people that notice there is something different about your child? I've already been warned by the psychologist that there may be some rude or mean things said at some point by others. I'm just not sure what to think. To most she will seem completely normal, unless she gets overstimulated or is having a rough day of keeping out of others personal space. I don't want her to be treated differently, but I also don't want others to think it's just bad parenting either.

Do any of you keep the diagnosis from other family members? So far we have kept all the testing and such a secret from my in-laws. My mother-in-law has anxiety issues and I don't want to put her over the edge with worry, especially before we have all the facts. I can't decide to keep it a secret or finally tell her now that we have a diagnosis. My parents know, but that's because my mom is my confidant. My dad still denies there is anything wrong with her, but doesn't give me any grief about taking her for testing and counseling.

Tami
Lilly (6/7/04) PDD-NOS

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-28-2008
Tue, 04-13-2010 - 4:09pm

Hi Tami,

If the co-pays don't go towards your out-of-pocket limit, then what does? Our co-pays do go toward that limit and we hit it each year sometime in June/July. Follow up with someone higher up the food chain in the insurance company to make certain that that's the rule. Medical deductions have to be quite high before you can take them off of taxes - something like 7% of your income or something like that. Don't quote me on it. We have a flexible medical spending account that lets us take pre-tax dollars to pay medical bills through my husbands employer, that helps too. But the reality is that we pay a lot of money each year towards therapies.

As for the school, you should speak to special services to see if an evaluation of your dd is in order - if her dx is in ANY way impacting her at school, they have to have an IEP in place. Do follow through with it. It can make a huge difference.

As for who to tell and who not to tell....that's definitely an individual choice. What you feel comfortable with and whether the person you're informing is a good choice or not. Nobody knows what PDD-NOS is, so I just say 'on the autistic spectrum'. That usually covers it. Sometimes I specify that he's 'high on the spectrum'. My family all knows about it, but we don't have any real issues to deal with. So I don't know what to tell you about your MIL.

The bad parenting trap. Depending on how out of line my kid is or not, I make a spot decision whether to mention that he's on the spectrum or not. Usually I just say 'slightly autistic'. Sometimes I just bite the bullet and don't say anything, sometimes I do. After a while, you develop a thicker skin and it doesn't bother you as much. Plenty of other people's kids behave badly in public too, so I don't worry about it too much.

I don't know if my rambling helped or not, but I did want to reply to your post and let you know that you're not alone in this. It's a club that no one really wants to join, but has a lot of great people in it.

Andrea, mom to

Graham
Miles
Anson

Andrea, mom to

Graham
Miles
Anson
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Tue, 04-13-2010 - 5:44pm

Where do you live?

                                

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-15-2010
Thu, 04-15-2010 - 11:23am

I just found out yesterday that my little girl (Jade) has PDD and just as soon as the test results come back we should know if its autism or aspergers. I believe its aspergers syndrome because of the symptoms.

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-09-2003
Sat, 04-17-2010 - 11:04pm

Definitely check with someone higher up in the insurance company, just to be sure.