Reading and staying positive
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| Tue, 03-20-2007 - 2:16pm |
I know that there aren't alot of parents on this board whose kids have trouble with reading....etc but I need to get this out there and get some ideas from someone else.
Sam was dx with reading and math disabilities last spring, in addition to his AS. He started meds for attention in the summer and tutoring for reading as well as the extended school year which all helped alot. His reading tutor thought he was too young to dx as dyslexic (he just turned 7) and though it was just a developmental delay. By the time 2nd grade started he was really reading!!! We were so happy.
He started 1st grade at a late Kindy reading level and 2nd at a 1st grade level. He's still behind in reading and in a smaller group in his class which he hates because of the kids in his group (also on the spectrum.) He is average in math but since reading is involved it's still difficult for him. Some days he can sound things out and has no reversals at all. But days like yesterday he really can barely read at all. It's a huge flash back for us and is very disheartening. He has an average to high average IQ, but on bad days he just cannot string the letters and sounds or thoughts together in his head to function. Math was even hard yesterday; he couldn't grasp anything I was trying to explain to him.
It's hard for all of us to stay positive during those times. We're focusing on teaching Sam to at least try to stay calm and positive. We have coping cards with calming activity ideas on them which he throws at us when he's getting upset about something so we've stopped trying to use them. I try to get him to focus on the preferred activity that he'll get to do after the unpreffered and then he just hyper focuces on wanting that and can't get through the unpreffered at times. We're supposed to be doing relaxation practise every day, but he down right hates it and it is not relaxing for anyone involved.
It's especially hard for me to stay postive because I'm working hard to keep it together and use a calm voice and not blow up at him. I'm doing all this and he still tells his social group that I yell "all the time." I'm tired; everything is hard for him and I keep thinking, "he can't even read!" Sigh. And of course part of the reason that he can't is becuase he gives up and says, "I can't." Which is somewhat true - life is difficult for him and he can only take so much. He'd much rather stay home and play with his legos or watch tv all day. He sometimes says that he'll calm down if we give him what he wants.
I don't know what to do anymore. His Psychologist says we're doing everything we can and trying our best. So if our best isn't good enough, then what do we do?
Chrystee


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Well I don't know if my post will help at all, but at least I can give you a hug and tell you I can understand.
My son has Dysgraphia (a part of Dyslexia, but with writting instead of reading) but he also has a Visual Processing Disorder. He has problems seeing the letters and transfering them down to paper. REading is difficult for him, and he gets confused and frustrated after about 15 min. Then he gives up.
One thing I was thinking of trying to incorporate into his class (not sure if they will go for this tho) is to get him a book on tape and have him listen while he reads along in the book. My son is very much an audiotorial learner, and I think that will help him tremondously with his reading.
You know when it all comes down to it, as long as the knowledge gets in their little heads, thats all that matters right now.
I know eventually I will have to find away to help him just read, because he can't go thru life not reading, but for now that will be our first baby step to get him back on track.
Has he ever had his Visual Processing checked? I think with my son I have to get him to a developmental Eye doc for glasses. Not just a regular one. I have been told it will help him see things better. Alots going on right now with both of my children, so I think by summer things will calm down a bit and I can find one to take him too.
Good luck :)
Lainie
Lainie,
Thanks for your post! I hear so often about AS kids and their hyperlexia or other academic successes. I know dyslexia/dsygraphia happen just as often with our kids, I just don't hear of it very often!
I realize how negative my post sounds! LOL which isn't helping with the positive thinking issue, I'm sure.
DS is dysgraphic as well, but OT has *really* helped with that. On the bad days though, he has a hard time writing along with the reading - poorly or oddly formed letters and more reversals. Part of the reversal issue is how he forms his letters, unfortunately coaching and structured writing programs haven't helped with that much.
I did have a developmental eye exam done last year. The Dr. was old school and we had a lengthy discussion about the differences between OT and the exercises he and I would do with Sam. They sounded like pretty much the same thing. Much of what he talked about could be explained by the developmental delay and the impaired executive functioning. Things like playing jacks and hop scotch, kicking a soccer ball around cones - big movements to help with tracking I guess. Activities that would be hard for Sam because of impaired fine motor skills. It sounded like one more thing for him to do that would frustrate the heck out of him that I really can't afford anyway. Plus it's pretty much stuff that I was already trying to get into his day.
The frustrating thing is that sometimes he's right on top of it. He can read almost on grade level....etc and then days like yesterday it's like he's taken one or two steps back in skill level. That is the puzzling and frustrating part for me. Sam has been challenging since day one and dx'd for 2 years now and I still haven't gotten used to the big swing between his good days and his bad days. Plus he genuinely doesn't seem interested in reading on his own. DH has dragged out his myriad boxes of comic books to entice him; we've promised to allow him some chill time in his bed at night to read then on his own and he's just not that interested. Some of it has got to be motivation and his low tolerance for frustration. And I just don't get it since I was reading before Kindy and school was very easy for me.
I will definately keep the books on tape idea in mind. I know that was one of the centers that he enjoyed last year in 1st grade. I don't think it really helped much until he was able to focus better though.
Thanks
Chrystee
You mention he has alot of reversals and it is better some days than others. Have you checked out developmental vision problems? Often if the eyes aren't working together (and it is worse when they are tired or stressed) it will appear like things are jumping on the page, mixed up, etc.
A big problem with kids can be directionality (left right thing) and it often comes out in reversals. You can help this through various exercises (like vision therapy) to retrain the eyes and brain. Particularly making the eyes stronger.
We have lots of this we work on in OT with some of our students. My own Emily had the worst time with this. It was her 1st grade teacher who picked it up when Emily wasn't reading. Her daughter had similar problems so she referred us to get testing for this. It was definitely worth while. I was able to get a book through the school with lots of activities to help her that we still do at home. Some are motor coordination exercises and some are pencil and paper work.
Some things you can do at home - mazes, word finds, bouncing a basketball having him switch from left to right and do so many with the left than with the right, bilateral coordination activities, any sort of tracking games. Have him look at a 1" piece of newsprint taped to a pencil. Slowly bring the pencil close to his face then further out and have him track it. There are lots of things like this you can do.
HTH
Renee
LOL, I should have read the rest of the posts before posting mine.
Lainie, A dev. optomotrist will be a good idea for you but it would be exercises and vision therapy, not glasses if that is his trouble. There are a variety of exercises that can help.
Chrystee, yep, the vision processing type stuff can really overlap with sensory stuff. It can be all related. I definitely sympathize with the problems of getting him to do yet MORE things that are frustrating for him. For Emily (and she is easy) we did set up a special reward just for doing her eye work. She loves sweets so after a set amount of eye exercises she gets a treat. She is usually following me around to do her eye exercises.
If you like I can try and scan in some of the sheets we have as well or type up something similar.
For instance we have a whole page with arrows going in all different directions and they have to circle all the arrows pointing to the right or left or whatever. Then there will be a page of all this - b b p q p d p q q b q p d and they have to find all the b's. The in will go one to where they have to find pairs or groups of letters in the right order.
There are also coloring pages where they have to color all the b's one color, all the p's another color, etc.
Those are along with the physical exercises the other doc mentioned. Those exercises work because they help develop that part of the brain that is having a hard time as well as working on getting the eyes to track. Often these kids will have a host of sensory processing problems and it all goes together.
Good luck.
Renee
Renee
I think you posted those last year and I did use the bdbdqpp exercises for some time. The coloring idea sounds like it would be more appealing to Sam. But it just doesn't seem to stick. It's like one day he's fine and the next he's not. It's hard enough to get him to do homework, reading, social skills practice....etc. I hate adding another thing in that is work for him and ultimately us. There just isn't time in the afternoons to do it all and allow him time to relax. And I can't take the almost constant whining, complaining and near meltdowns that sometimes begin before he even gets out of bed.
If I thought the exercises would definately help then I'd make them more of a priority. But it seems like the difficult days are difficult all around - bad mood, decreased flexibility, less able to focus, less eye contact, more easily distractible, more likely to meltdown, less of a desire to interact with others, unorganized *and* he can't read or write as well as he did the day before. It's all connected and it sucks that life in general is incredibly difficult for Sam. I wish something other than building things came easy to him. Building is definately a good skill to have but he's not going to be able to be self sufficient if he can't read and has no desire to learn how to.
I have a reading disability book meant for teachers with some sample sheets in it. At the time I bought it, it was for a higher reading level, but I think I'll take a look at it again. Perhaps giving the exercises another go is called for despite my obvious negative attitude right now!
Thanks....your posts are always helpful
Chrystee
Chrystee, is Sam on any supplements like B6 and Magnesium to calm his mind. Looks like he is struggling in multiple area. Sravan has Dysgraphia too. Also questions like "Read this chapter and think of a situation that happened to you". That really throws him off, which is what a lot of 4th grade stuff is.
Do you have hooked on phonics? The step by step approach to reading helped Sravan a lot. For math, I would use basic math repetition. Print worksheets from mathfactcafe.com. Once he gets his reading skills in order he can try the word problem.
- Anandhi
Out of curiousity, what is different on the days he is not fine?
There are a couple things I would do.
1- Not stress on homework those days. Mention this situation to the teacher and see if you can modify his work on those days, read to him instead of making him read, etc.
2- be aware of if he is more off sensory wise and perhaps he needs extra sensory diet type stuff on those days to help him focus. Weighted things, a squeeze ball, extra breaks, thick drink through a thin straw, etc
In this situation I think you are right. You don't want to give him extra things that will stress him out. Some how I missed the part before where he is fine sometimes and off others. This is not uncommon with our ASD kiddos at all and if reading is one of the areas he struggles with this is the area where it will first show up. He may have had extra stressful activities, changes, etc in school that day so he has no more ability to focus when he gets home. It is ALLLLLL used up with functioning through school.
For Cait it is always math that goes. For Mike it is auditory and following directions or stimming/overstimulation. Cait can remember her math facts one day and the next it is like she never knew them.
It gets better as they get older and they master the skills more and more. It also helps when we more and more recognize their stressors and modify for them or help them learning coping mechanisms but there are still days where this is going to be more difficult. On those days you should not feel bad about taking a step back and making his work easier for him. He hasn't lost the skill over all, he is just having a rough time and will turn it around soon.
Renee
maybe you can use his interest in legos to interest him in math? he can count, separate according to size or color. maybe you can find a book about the making of legos or making designs with legos. legos might be the connection to school subject.
do the meds need to be adjusted or changed?
good luck.
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Edited 2/19/2008 11:11 am ET by littleroses
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