Reading and staying positive
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| Tue, 03-20-2007 - 2:16pm |
I know that there aren't alot of parents on this board whose kids have trouble with reading....etc but I need to get this out there and get some ideas from someone else.
Sam was dx with reading and math disabilities last spring, in addition to his AS. He started meds for attention in the summer and tutoring for reading as well as the extended school year which all helped alot. His reading tutor thought he was too young to dx as dyslexic (he just turned 7) and though it was just a developmental delay. By the time 2nd grade started he was really reading!!! We were so happy.
He started 1st grade at a late Kindy reading level and 2nd at a 1st grade level. He's still behind in reading and in a smaller group in his class which he hates because of the kids in his group (also on the spectrum.) He is average in math but since reading is involved it's still difficult for him. Some days he can sound things out and has no reversals at all. But days like yesterday he really can barely read at all. It's a huge flash back for us and is very disheartening. He has an average to high average IQ, but on bad days he just cannot string the letters and sounds or thoughts together in his head to function. Math was even hard yesterday; he couldn't grasp anything I was trying to explain to him.
It's hard for all of us to stay positive during those times. We're focusing on teaching Sam to at least try to stay calm and positive. We have coping cards with calming activity ideas on them which he throws at us when he's getting upset about something so we've stopped trying to use them. I try to get him to focus on the preferred activity that he'll get to do after the unpreffered and then he just hyper focuces on wanting that and can't get through the unpreffered at times. We're supposed to be doing relaxation practise every day, but he down right hates it and it is not relaxing for anyone involved.
It's especially hard for me to stay postive because I'm working hard to keep it together and use a calm voice and not blow up at him. I'm doing all this and he still tells his social group that I yell "all the time." I'm tired; everything is hard for him and I keep thinking, "he can't even read!" Sigh. And of course part of the reason that he can't is becuase he gives up and says, "I can't." Which is somewhat true - life is difficult for him and he can only take so much. He'd much rather stay home and play with his legos or watch tv all day. He sometimes says that he'll calm down if we give him what he wants.
I don't know what to do anymore. His Psychologist says we're doing everything we can and trying our best. So if our best isn't good enough, then what do we do?
Chrystee


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Renee
So far we can't figure out what may be different about those days. It seems like he just wakes up that way. Though I do think a more stressful day at school definately can be a trigger for meltdowns or a decrease in flexibility at home after school. I'm hoping that it's just a typical ASD thing and not a BP or mood disorder. We've been charting his behavior to see if there are any patterns.
I'm going to call in to his teacher about the homework. We've already had it reduced some, but I think we could do something different still. He gets a worksheet for the spelling words the other group in class is doing. I think he could do something different for his own spelling words that he finds less stressful, repetetive writing and dictating sentences come to mind. I don't want him to associate his challenging behaviors at these times with getting away without having to do homework, so I've been roughing it out this whole time with lots of sensory breaks, relaxation practise and coping skills talk in between.
Glad to know that Sam has company.
Chrystee
Oh he would likely like Rainbow words! Take his spelling words and he writes them first maybe in red, then over that in blue, etc. Pick a few colors and have him trace over the letters in different colors while saying the letters out loud. It does that repetitive thing while practicing multimodal (auditory and kinesthetic) in a low stress way.
That is if he has trouble with spelling which I am guessing he likely does. If not nix spelling all together. That is what we did with Cait. She is so stressed over homework it is really silly to make her do spelling homework every darn day too when the girl spells better than I.
If he is stressed overall DEFINITELY modify homework. Homework should really be INDEPENDENT work. There are studies out that show that homework really DOES NOT improve student achievement. It is practice and should only be practice and low stress practice. Particularly at this young age.
I agree with LR too. We have got to be mom. When we become the homework gestapo for a child who is struggling in school because that is what is the social norm (kids in this classroom do THIS much homework, or whatever) then we become another cause for stress.
The best thing I ever did for Mike was to cut him back way below his ability level in homework to stuff he could easily do independently. He felt successful. He was much less stressed at home and we got along a whole lot better.
Renee
Renee and littleroses
I think that trying to just be mom is the best advice! And I do think reducing the skill level of his homework will be key to keeping his stress level down.
He's good at the memorization aspect of spelling. But he can't really apply it to reading, so flash cards would help that and be a low stress homework assignment. He probably would like the rainbow words....good idea! Math flash cards would help with the memorization of some of the problems he doesn't have memorized - mostly subtraction and sums over 10. Then the newer math he's learning would be alot easier - they've started doing numbers over 20....eek! LOL
Doing more homework independently would help around here immensely. The now 2yo brother is driving me insane during homework and reading time with Sam......he hates not being part of the action! He's climbing on top of us the entire time and trying to scribble on Sam's sheets..it's cute and annoying at the same time. He doesn't want his own paper or his own seat either; he wants Sam's. I think he would enjoy some school pretend play with Sam as the teacher!
I sent a note in to school this morn. and will follow up with some of your ideas via phone later on this week. I don't think his teacher will mind as long as he's doing something to improve or reinforce skills he's already learned; she's pretty open-minded.
Thanks a bunch!
Chrystee
Chrystee,
Is he maybe not sleeping well on the nights before the bad days? Kyle will often will have trouble falling asleep but not get up for hours to tell us he can't sleep. We use melatonin but not every night anymore. He will also wake up in the night sometimes and never mention it to us. Then he is a bear the next day.
Kyle has dysgraphia too. He was also dx with dyslexia but it turned out to just be a visual processing thing. We took him to the dev. Opt. and she gave him really strong progressive lens bifocals. He was in OT/PT so she had them work with him on tracking exercises. We didn't do them at home. At home we did theraputic listening. That yr he went form below grade level in reading to above grade level. He's now reading 3yrs above grade level. I also think with a lot of kids they just aren't developementally ready for reading until a much later age.
Kyle was behind in math too. Partly because he is a very slow processer. He knows the material but it takes longer for him to retrieve it and produce it. I think the school wasn't patient enought with him to wait for the answer. He also had trouble learning the mutltiplication facts. Finally this yr (6th grade) his math has really come along. He's no longer behind and they say its actually one of his strong suits now. This isn't a surprise to me though. When he was tested in 3rd grade they said he was behind in the easy math like the math facts but could do the more complicated stuff like geometry and algebra. They didn't get it but I knew they just weren't giving him enought time to retrieve and produce the math facts.
Samantha
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