Rece's ASD eval.
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Rece's ASD eval.
| Wed, 05-14-2008 - 1:21pm |
Well, we are back from the appointment. And I have been crying ever since we left. Except it is kind of selfish crying. Their opinion is that he does not have an Autism Spectrum Disorder. I feel terrible crying about THAT outcome. But I was SO hoping for some answers. They said that he is too social. And I agree he is social, but not in the right ways. He isn't appropriate social. Hitting to play is not an appropriate social interaction. They think that he has behavior problems-yeah, no crap. And they are suggesting behavior management specialists. So right now basically I feel like I just have a bad kid and I am a bad mom that doesn't know how to discipline or control her kid. I don't know what to do. I am at the end of my rope. They even saw all of the bahaviors we have problems with. He was hitting, throwing, putting things in his mouth. They recognized that he does have some autistic tendencies but they don't feel it is enough and the fact that he is too social takes him out of the spectrum. I feel like a huge failure as a mom. They even questioned if he really needed to be in the preschool he is in. They think he should probably be around more typical kids. But he can't be in a typical preschool b/c he is no where near PT'd. But his behavior is usually good at school and I have seen improvements in language since he started school. I am SO glad that he doesn't have an ASD but I feel like this whole process has just been a big waste of time. They suggested possible ADHD or ODD but said that they wouldn't diagnose a kid this young. We have the follow up appt. next week, but he basically said he didn't feel we needed it. It is our choice though. It would just be to do more academic tests, like an IQ test to see if maybe they are missing something. But I know that isn't the problem. He is super smart and his substitue told me yesterday that he knows more than some of the kids going into kindergarten. So I feel like next week it is just going to tell me that I have a super smart stubborn discipline problem. Cry Cry Cry
I don't feel like there is anything more that I can do with discipline. He doesn't CARE about anything that I do or take away or don't do. NOTHING
I don't feel like there is anything more that I can do with discipline. He doesn't CARE about anything that I do or take away or don't do. NOTHING
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Oh sweetheart, I can so relate all of your frustrating feelings right now!
Tonia,
I have been exactly where you are. When Peter was 3 he was evaluated and they said he had "Specific Language Disorder", but it was too early to say if he had a PDD or not. He was nto diagnoised as on the spectrum until he was 5¼, and even then they said "we know he is on the Spectrum, but we are not sure where. Yes he had a huge speech delay, but he is so high-functioning now, we are going to call it Asperger's Syndrome" Which I didn't agree with, but there you go.
He is now almost 10 and STILL not classified as "autistic" in school.
So you are definitely not alone.
Peter when younger, he was very similar to how you describe Rece. He was impossible to discipline, he would have wild meltdowns which could last for HOURS and he used to initiate play by charging and body-slamming another child. Thank goodness he seemed to instinctively know not to do this with toddlers. For toddlers, he used to go up and pat their heads (like they were pets or something LOL. I got a lot of Looks from other parents for that one.)
The thing that helped Peter the most back then was special school. His 4yo preK had a speech therapist in the classroom 6 hrs/day. In that year he had his huge language breakthrough, and once his language exploded, his behavior improved 1,000,000%.
Tonia, it is not you. You are not a bad parent. I have walked in your shoes and I have dispaired about what to do with my kid, who was kicked out of two daycares within a few weeks. I thought it ws me, too, and I blamed myself for working, for drinking diet soda when pregnant, for not having a set bedtime routine ...anything I coudl think of. Then when Siobhan started growing older and had none of the behaviour problems Pete had had, I realised that it wasn't me. And it wasn't *him*. It was The Thing -whatever it was called- that disorder he had. Later I learned to call it Autism, but for a few years it was just The Thing.
It is easier to fight The Thing when you have a definite name for it, but you can definitely do a lot just knowing that it isn't you, it isn't Rece, it is The Thing.
((((((((Hugs))))))))))
-Paula
visit my blog at www.onesickmother.com
visit my blog at www.onesickmother.com
Do not despair too much. This is the reaction I received from a neuropsych and a dev ped at the Kennedy Krieger Institute of all places (yes the mecca of ASD dx). At the time Liam was 4, (almost 5) and they said adhd and neuromotor abnormalities. I too was told how social he was, and like Rece Liam would head butt to get interaction. They sent us onto a behaviorist too, which was a HUUUUGE waste of time as they acted like simple behavior mod would work. I just kept pursuing other avenues and luckily the schools here caught it shortly after we moved to GA. I had actually set up a new appt with a local doctor known for dx hf ASD, but luckily didn't have to foot the bill for it.
Unfortunately there are so called specialists out there who have such a narrow view of what ASD is they allow our kids to fall between the cracks. Don't give up on the IQ eval though. I too thought the boys were so smart and then found out both had a large gap between verbal and non-verbal scores, which helps with understanding how they learn and why certain things frustrate them, eg: Cian has 99 verbal, 160 non-verbal; he is a math whizz but really struggles with language arts and because of this he is getting pull out for lang arts next year.
(((Hugs)) I do know the disappointment of being told you're wrong when deep in your heart you know you are right on the money. btw: who evaluated him?
Dee
(((HUGS HUGS AND MORE HUGS)))
Id definitly go to the follow up appt. start writing down more questions that u hope to have answers to. and demand, some sort of answer. Because You are not a bad mom, there is a reason for your sons behaviors and u need a better answer!
I know uve seen my post, about how one team of dr.s said my daughter was asd because she showed stranger anxiety. what the heck. liek so many ladies on here have said it takes numerous dr.s to find a great one!
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Hugs to you-
I can't add much to what the others have said. But I too have heard that both of my spectrum kiddos are "too social" to have autism. UGH. Social is one thing, appropriately social is a whole 'nother ballgame.
I think it's really true that the younger they are, the harder they are to diagnosis. The older they are, the more obivious the delays come. I wish it wasn't that way, but it seems to be reality.
Hang in there-
Amy
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What testing did they actually do? Cian's dx came mainly from questionnaires and observances on my end. Then the psychologist did around 4 hours of educational testing on Cian (hence his IQ scores). Did they promise you a written report at all?
Was it through a children's hospital etc I'm just curious because if they short changed you on dignostic tools then the rejection of the ASD is bogus. I also say this as Liam was supposed to receive 8 hours of testing (over two days) and the neuropsych only gave him 3 hours. At the time I didn't realise, but I know now.
Dee
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The Mommy Gut is the most important organ in your body....trust it. I would continue to search out other avenues. Its possible they are so used to more impacted ASD kids they misread Rece. Still only a half hour with Rece is not even close to enough. Its easy to pick apart your responses. I know that has happened to Liam soooo many times. I learned that lesson the hard way so when Cian needed attention I went a different route. Can the school system do an evaluation? In the end that was what got Liam sorted. Poor poor you, its so frustrating having to educate even the so called professionals.
Dee
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