Repetitive questions
Find a Conversation
| Wed, 10-19-2005 - 1:17pm |
I was just reading the discussions on the Awareness Conference. And this question was brought up. Nathan does this too. He asks questions that he already knows the answer to. Like, "Is this our house?" He wants a definite answer back, no playing around or he gets MAD! He will pick a question, and then ask it a few times that day. It's not 20 times or anything that extreme, but it does make me wonder why he asks these peculiar questions and then feels the need to continue asking me! He also does the other thing mentioned in this post....he asks permission to do things, that he doesn't need permission to do. Like GOING TO THE BATHROOM!!!
Do any of your kids do this too? And on another note, he also gets upset with me if I interact with the TV. If I repeat a line that a character on TV says, or take one of his stuffed animals and pretend that I'm talking (as the animal). He ONLY wants me talking like myself....NO PRETENDING. This really seems to bother him. And I can't sing ANYTHING!!! (no, I don't have a terrible voice! lol) He just doesn't like the singing. I have to just be mom.
He also tells me he loves me.....at least 10 times a day. And just yesterday, I found out that he's now telling HIS TEACHERS that he loves them too!!! LOL Ok, he could be repeating something worse than "I love you"....but this could be a bit awkward as he gets older!!!LOL Of course, I'm sure by then he'll have another phrase ......probably a phrase that he will learn from Tyler, no doubt!! Cant't wait for that!! LOL
Michelle

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These stories are killing me.
S'funny, because my Aspie, not my Autie is the worst offender here. Siobhan hates it when I sing ("STOP it, Mom!"). She *really* hates when I sing silly versions of songs, whereas Peter, who has a grand appreciation of slapstick, will merrily join me in a bawdy rendition of "Twinkle, Twinkle, little toaster" (or "baa baa black sheep,have you any feet?). He *used* to dislike my singing too, but I think he grew out of it. Or maybe his hearing disimproved! LOL.
I am allowed to play with Siobhan's food. ("Don't eat me! I'm running away!!!") but always the same script.
-Paula
visit my blog at www.onesickmother.com
My dd does this too. Sometimes, I believe the more "silly" type questions she knows the answers to, like "What does a policeman do? What does a fireman do?" Is because of the certainty of the answers. They are always the same. I think she finds comfort in this process.
At other times, it's the inability to communicate well which makes her repetitive and angry. She'll painstakingly repeat a question over and over again. Even if I have already said yes 5 times already. I think her desire to be understood 100% goes right along with how they might line up toys. If one is not right, they might start over again. If she asks me if we will have eggs for breakfast tomorrow and I say yes...she asks me again because she might really be seeing in her mind "Can we have eggs for breakfast tomorrow at 7:30 on the red plate with the Blues Clues fork?" She can't say all that, but she wants it be that exact and can't communicate it to me. Kind of like the ultimate perfectionist. She is so fine-tuned to the details and I someone more neurotypical is able to generalize that I am the one making her crazy.
It appears that she's in a "loop" in an OCD sort of way when she is repeating the question, but she knows exactly what she's trying to say in her head and can't coordinate it out to her mouth and only when I figure it out...is she able to let it rest and be happy by the answer. It's sort of a difficult game, but when I finally say "Oh, you want to eat eggs for breakfast tomorrow at 7:30 on the red plate with the blues clues fork." Is when she is satisfied that she is finally fully understood.
I can sorta relate to her at times. I can be a bit of a perfectionist in some things and my frustration level is high when it doesn't quite work out like I envisioned it.
My trouble is teaching her not to interrupt. When I get caught up talking to a teacher or an adult, she interrupts. I tell her she has to wait her turn and then she will get a turn to talk, but it still leaves her "hanging out in the wind" and it's still too general for her. She tries really hard though. She'll wait for a minute. LOL
LR
Michelle,
I dont' get much Web surfing time these days, but baby is napping and Cassian isn't home from school yet. I haven't read others' responses, so someone may have already told you the same thing. There's a pretty easy answer to this one. It is that people on the spectrum love expected, predictable outcomes, but hate the opposite. A leading autism treatment specialist said in a lecture I attended, "It would be pretty abnormal if I came up to you and said, 'Hey remember that conversation we had yesterday? Let's have the exact same conversation today - - same words, same nonverbals, etc..' This seems like an odd request, but to many folks on the Spectrum, this is their idea of a great social interaction."
I think the above statement captures why many kids on the Spectrum ask questions that they know the answer to. They want to hear that familiar answer because it makes them feel happy and comfortable. They know what is coming, and at the same time, they can get that need to interact, which all humans autistic or not have, fulfilled.
If you want to limit this sort of behavior, try using a bit of humor and say, "I think you know the answer to that." You can also refuse to answer the same question more than once each day or something like that. Social stories about how other people like to have conversations but not with the same words over and over might also help. This is a pretty important lesson to learn, but you may be working on the problem for a while.
Suzi
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