Rock Throwing at Recess

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Registered: 03-27-2003
Rock Throwing at Recess
7
Thu, 06-08-2006 - 3:36pm

Today at recess Sam (7, 1st grade, AS, comorbid ADHD) hit a child in the face with a rock, drew blood, fat lip.....the whole shebang. They were playing freeze tag. He feels badly about it. He has had a few other incidents of throwing rocks at recess but never with the intent to hurt someone. He has lost recess for the next day afterward. I also take away tv for that afternoon because it's such a huge safety issue. We have talked about where rocks are allowed to be thrown...only at the quiet, unpopulated, rocky beach we go to in summer. We talk about this often as rocks are everywhere :)

He does not have an aide at recess. The people who staff recess know about Sam and to keep an eye out. He goes to a big school though so you can imagine how that goes.

He has lost recess for the rest of the year, which is only 2 weeks. I normally wouldn't like this, but at this point I'm not sure what else to do. Kids aren't safe with him throwing rocks and so far consequences haven't worked.

I know that some of this is impulse control and some of it is social skills. He often takes competetive games very seriously and gets angry at the opposing side....he takes trash talking very literally and angry facial expressions often result in him lashing out at someone.

I'm unsure what to do about next year. He will be in a Sped. Integrated classroom instead of a mainstream. He also has reading and math disabilities.

I am slightly happy this happened today because he was being observed at the time by a Psych. doing an FBA. I'm hoping the results will be some kind of structured play time at recess instead of no recess at all. I don't want him being held by the hand either which they have tried to do in the past. I'm also a bit dismayed because he was in the middle of playing a game.....he wasn't just wandering around. Even if someone was assigned to help him initiate a game, he could still easily pick up a rock and throw it too fast for anyone to intervene.

I should say that he has few issues when we take him to the playground. We stand back and intervene very rarely. I think something about the loud lunch room before hand, the type of kids he's playing with, or the amount of kids on the playground is affecting him.

Any thoughts?

Chrystee

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Registered: 10-03-2004
Thu, 06-08-2006 - 3:55pm

Dear Chrystee,

Sure, I have thoughts. You taking him to the playground is NOTHING like participating in unstructured, large-school recesses. Being at school in an inappropriate placement that way he has been, by your report, is way too stressful. And there is no way your child should be left unattended on a playground during recess, knowing to "look out" for him is not enough assistance or supervision. And hand-holding is also not appropriate. He needs TRAINED supervision and intervention, teaching in social skills and how to handle recess. Recess needs to be taught and then reinforced. He may also need to be in a smaller setting for recess. Some ASD kids do better NOT being at outdoor recess, but some quieter alternative.

Are there poeople trained in his specific disability involved in his education? The Sped classroom is likely a better choice than regular mainstream, but the recess.unstructured time thing really needs to be addressed. Often, the hardest part of our kid's school days are lunchtime, recess, gym and transitioning between classrooms. Unstructured time, sudden changes, field days, full-school activities and programs. Pure hell, very hard to hold it all together. All those times need to be addressed.

It should be interesting to see what the results of the FBA are. Any chance you need an advocate with this school district? It sounds like Sam needs a great deal more specific assistance if he is going to stay at this school.

yours,

Sara
ilovemalcolm

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Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 06-08-2006 - 5:13pm

I am so sorry. What a bummer.

First thing I wonder is was it his true intent to hurt this other child? Did he realize that throwing the rock would indeed hurt the other child. Think like an ASD kid here, not a typical one. I have known a large number of ASD kids who will do things like hold kids underwater, put pillows in faces and such and not realize how serious thier behavior is. Often they are just trying to get the other child to stop doing something or are just frustrated.

I am a bit concerned that they are taking away all his recesses for the remainder of the year. That will not teach him to not throw rocks honestly or intervene on what the trouble was in the first place.

Now if they plan on having him do some structured activities that are excercise in nature like SI stuff with a 1:1 where they can better observe him then ok. But if they are planning on having him sit in the office and stare at the walls for this time every day I would have a serious problem with that. Then the punishment isn't teaching him better behavior it is so they don't have to work harder to provide the supervision and structure he needs because they don't want to be bothered for the rest of the year since we are close to the end. But that is going to be very very hard on him I would guess. I would wonder if he could go to the RSP room or somewhere with someone to get some exercise. Even go for a walk.

BTW, Mike can be alot like this on the playground. He has made huge gains this year but his aide is always on the playground with him. If he is playing something with other kids it is expessially tough. It is actually easier when he withdraws and does his little routines by himself but then he isn't interacting. Miss Kelly pretty much stays backed off but she can tell when he is starting to escalate and will intervene. Also they are working on alot of these issues in a weekly social skills group in school. Both have helped alot and other than the broken thumb incident earlier this year we haven't had any really major incidents. A few minor ones with yelling where he would lose one recess but Kelly is there to make sure things are going ok.

Renee

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Registered: 03-27-2003
Thu, 06-08-2006 - 5:19pm

I had an advocate at the last meeting. She's working pro bono since we can't afford one ourselves. She did help somewhat. The recess thing didn't get settled as we are waiting for the FBA for our official "evidence" to show that something needs to be done.

There are ASD classrooms for more "classic" ASD kids. I'm not ruling it out altogether. That could be an option if the staffing is more with less kids. I worry about the academic side of it. I also see alot of the aides with these kids when I pick up Sam. There's alot of hand-holding and his teacher says they're often screaming at the top of their lungs in the classroom so I'm not too sure about it.

I don't really think that our school district has any clue when it comes to kids like Sam with an ASD dx......I'm sure without one he'd be in the emotionally disturbed or behaviorally challenged class with a bunch of socially savy kids with other issues going on.I don't even think there's any AS trained staff. His SLP, SpEd teacher and the school psych seem pretty knowledgible.

Sam is actually OK at initiating play and finding something to do at recess.....it's all the little nuancy things that he has trouble with so it's hard to make a case for a 1:1 to a poor school district. It'll be a fight for sure. I can't wait to get the FBA report.....I hate all this waiting to try to get what he needs. He'd much rather stay home, but I think that he thinks he'll just get to watch tv all day! LOL I'd homeschool if his reading disability didn't drive me completely batty. Can't this kid get anything easy! Jeeze.....

Chrystee

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Avatar for nutmegspice
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Registered: 03-27-2003
Thu, 06-08-2006 - 7:01pm

I think that he intended to throw the rock at the kid, but didn't realize that the rock would do such damage. I guess that's basically what you are saying. I don't think the school sees it that way because they have no idea what is going on.

Oh I know that they are sticking him in the office because they do not want to be bothered. I know that's what's happening. But they *are not* going to do anything you suggested or that I have suggested all year this year with out a huge fight and that's not going to happen by the end of this year. I don't think there is a Resource room or the staff willing and able to provide services to him during recess...which is part of the issue.

I think I'm going to go call the advocate right now, actually because I do not want this to wait til next year.

Chrystee

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Registered: 06-30-2003
Thu, 06-08-2006 - 8:15pm

My son is the same age as yours. He throws mulch at recess, but he doesn't get in too much trouble since that doesn't really hurt the other kids. If he threw a rock like that, I know he would be immediately sent home for the day and suspended at least for one day.

I don't think taking away his recess for the rest of the year is going to accomplish anything, except for making life easier for the school. Your son won't learn anything from the experience.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-03-2004
Thu, 06-08-2006 - 8:20pm

Dear Chrystee,

The law is all on your side. I hope this advocate has something on the ball here, because this school district is way out of line. They are not providing him with appropriate supervision and it is AGAINST THE LAW that they do not have someone trained in his disability in charge of his programming and part of his team. And you can go so far as to insist (not: ask) on yearly training on how to work with his disability for all involved school personnel. IDEA is specific on this one.

Renee is right on the money that they are out of line with the "punishment" here. I have a feeling that you are not going to be able to "make suggestions" with this school district. You may want to go by IEP Board here at iVillage for some pointers on exactly how to get your school district in line, work with the advocate. They cannot keep ignoring you, and your son's needs. These are not just good ideas, hell, this is his legal rights here, to be accomodated for his disability. When you are punished for your disability, that's called, well, abuse. IMHO.

I think it may be time to start rolling up your sleeves, no more nice mom (although you can start with firm, assertive mom), and get ready to take them on and get your son what he needs.

Sara
ilovemalcolm

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-08-2003
Fri, 06-09-2006 - 3:01pm

Chrystee, I totally agree to the structured play idea. I am pretty sure Sam didn't do it with any intent nor thought the consequence. Our kids are sweet but lack impluse control. I am pretty sure he feels too awful about this. Sravan had pnuemonia for last 2 weeks. It took about a week to figure he had one. By that time, he had already consumed 1 bottle of advil, a bottle of tylenol and a bottle of RObetissum (sp??). When he finally went to school and the school had the most unstructured day, he totally lost it and threw and broke his glasses. Principal was not upset and she called me to ask what we should do. SInce my DD was home, I sent her to go pick him up. Parenting our kids is always a roller coaster ride.

hugs and work towards structured play next school year,
ANnadhi