Don't double-whammy the punishment, particualrly not at this age with an ASD kid.
First, to them punishment at home is COMPLETELY separate from the behavior at school. They need immediate consequence from the person there during the situation, not from someone else (particularly a parent) 4 hours later. Do you ask the school to put him in TO or keep him in from recess if he doesn't go to bed or hits at home? I think not. It wouldn't be appropriate.
Working memory in ASD kids is typically not good. Heck a week ago Mike had a HORRIBLE experience in the mainstream class complete with meltdown. 2 hours later I picked him up for an appointment and according to him he had a great day. He honestly believed that. If it isn't in that moment it doesn't exist.
I back up the school with thier consequence particularly if it is appropriate to the behavior. If it is innappropriate but not dangerous I will back them up to the child but go and let them hear about it on my own so it doesn't happen again.
Now that Mike is older and his working memory is slightly better or at least his comprehension, I follow through for aggressions only. And even then sometimes it is a stretch as to whether or not it is appropriate for him. He loses electronics at home for aggression for the day, but I don't think that does a DARN thing to teach him about his behavior. I think it just makes us feel better as adults (teacher and parent) that we are doing something about it.
If he continues to have trouble on the bus you may be able to request an aide on the bus and that may help. Then you may get someone a little more understanding of a child's issues. This is a special needs bus right?
As for the treat of consequence, he will see through that soon, lol. I usually try now to discuss with Mike what the natural consequences would be as to what they would mean to his life. For instance, other children don't like it and are scared if you hit them. They won't want to be your friend if they are scared of you....
In getting Mike to talk I have just found this new system at the conference I was at last weekend called "mind Mapping". It is just like using a graphic organizer with simple drawings, etc. But you can use it for nearly everything. Our kids are such visual people sometimes and have such a hard time with language comprehension that I am finding this is working well.
The other day when Mike was SOOOOO mad at Dave and hit him, I sat down with him and started drawing a map "what I can do when I am mad at dave" and I drew a line and wrote "hit", then another and wrote "yell". Well that got his attention. Soon we came up with other ideas of what to do as well, he drew some pictures and I drew some to represent different parts of the map. Then he drew (on his own) frowny faces next to the "hit" and "yell". He was pretty angry and didn't understand at first until he saw me doing it for a while. Then he asked if he could keep that map and he put it up in his room.
I have been doing Maps each day for what we have to do during the day. Rather than a rigid schedule and a list, it is a picture of what we need to get done. Each kid has thier own color so thier things are written in thier color. Family things are written in one color too. I will also be using it for homework assignments, etc.
www.barbaradoyle.com check out that website. She has it linked to her site and lots of other good stuff. She was the one who presented it with one other young woman.
He was mad about the map but not because of the pictures vs. writing. But rather because it was something new and he didn't understand it. He is not good with ANYTHING new. If I try to explain it verbally he is much worse because of his poor auditory processing. This is just something we have to go through with anything new that we want to try to help him.
I admit it was worse this time than others because he was still angry with Dave. But he recovered quickly.
It sure sounds like things would be a lot better if that bus driver understood some basic stuff about autism.
Don't double-whammy the punishment, particualrly not at this age with an ASD kid.
First, to them punishment at home is COMPLETELY separate from the behavior at school. They need immediate consequence from the person there during the situation, not from someone else (particularly a parent) 4 hours later. Do you ask the school to put him in TO or keep him in from recess if he doesn't go to bed or hits at home? I think not. It wouldn't be appropriate.
Working memory in ASD kids is typically not good. Heck a week ago Mike had a HORRIBLE experience in the mainstream class complete with meltdown. 2 hours later I picked him up for an appointment and according to him he had a great day. He honestly believed that. If it isn't in that moment it doesn't exist.
I back up the school with thier consequence particularly if it is appropriate to the behavior. If it is innappropriate but not dangerous I will back them up to the child but go and let them hear about it on my own so it doesn't happen again.
Now that Mike is older and his working memory is slightly better or at least his comprehension, I follow through for aggressions only. And even then sometimes it is a stretch as to whether or not it is appropriate for him. He loses electronics at home for aggression for the day, but I don't think that does a DARN thing to teach him about his behavior. I think it just makes us feel better as adults (teacher and parent) that we are doing something about it.
Renee
it's the full moon I tell ya!
You're right Renee, punishment has always been about making dh and I feel better, and never helped Liam at all.
If he continues to have trouble on the bus you may be able to request an aide on the bus and that may help. Then you may get someone a little more understanding of a child's issues. This is a special needs bus right?
As for the treat of consequence, he will see through that soon, lol. I usually try now to discuss with Mike what the natural consequences would be as to what they would mean to his life. For instance, other children don't like it and are scared if you hit them. They won't want to be your friend if they are scared of you....
In getting Mike to talk I have just found this new system at the conference I was at last weekend called "mind Mapping". It is just like using a graphic organizer with simple drawings, etc. But you can use it for nearly everything. Our kids are such visual people sometimes and have such a hard time with language comprehension that I am finding this is working well.
The other day when Mike was SOOOOO mad at Dave and hit him, I sat down with him and started drawing a map "what I can do when I am mad at dave" and I drew a line and wrote "hit", then another and wrote "yell". Well that got his attention. Soon we came up with other ideas of what to do as well, he drew some pictures and I drew some to represent different parts of the map. Then he drew (on his own) frowny faces next to the "hit" and "yell". He was pretty angry and didn't understand at first until he saw me doing it for a while. Then he asked if he could keep that map and he put it up in his room.
I have been doing Maps each day for what we have to do during the day. Rather than a rigid schedule and a list, it is a picture of what we need to get done. Each kid has thier own color so thier things are written in thier color. Family things are written in one color too. I will also be using it for homework assignments, etc.
www.barbaradoyle.com check out that website. She has it linked to her site and lots of other good stuff. She was the one who presented it with one other young woman.
Renee
That mind-mapping sounds interesting.
Well, here's a funny; I used mind mapping all the time with my 6th and 7th garders when teaching reading comp and free form writing.
He was mad about the map but not because of the pictures vs. writing. But rather because it was something new and he didn't understand it. He is not good with ANYTHING new. If I try to explain it verbally he is much worse because of his poor auditory processing. This is just something we have to go through with anything new that we want to try to help him.
I admit it was worse this time than others because he was still angry with Dave. But he recovered quickly.
Renee