Rough start to school!

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-24-2005
Rough start to school!
3
Sat, 09-03-2005 - 10:01am

We had a rough start back to school this year but things are getting better. Just to refresh your memories, Chase is in 2nd grade this year and was dx with AS this past January. He has always attended a mainstream parochial school and does well academically but with much prompting and redirection.

Our plan for this year was to have Chase go half day to reduce the stress of the long day and I was going to homeschool him in Science and Social Studies and any missed work from other subjects that were covered in the afternoon would have to be completed at home. I ordered all of his text books off of ebay so he wouldn't have to carry heavy books in his backpack. Well, after two days of half day he melted down big time when he had to sit down and do work at home. He was hitting himself in the cheek and crying uncontrollably. At first I wanted to stand firm. I think that is the most difficult part of raising an ASD kid. I don't want to indulge him and respond to his meltdowns by giving in but it's hard to know when it is the Asperger's and when it is a willful 7 year old.

Through his tears he told me that he wanted home to be home and didn't want to do school work at home. And that made sense to me. Home is his refuge where he can stim and relax and escape the pressures of school. He actually begged to go full day and I relented.

Well yesterday the asst. came up to me after school and said she just loves Chase so much (which is our biggest hopes, right?). She said he sat next to her at Mass and he was scratching her arm and tracing his face with her hand and she loved it. Also, two little girls in his class have decided to help Chase to the car after school as he has a tendency to get lost and then panics. These two little girls walked him out arm and arm and they looked like the front-line of a football team making their way through the crowd and Chase was all smiles. It was fantastic!

Oh, BTW, I was asked by the faculty to take over as PTO president and like a crazy women I accepted. I'm a bit overwhelmed but it does give me the opportunity to be close to the kids and keep a closer eye on Chase. Sorry this was long but wanted to share. Vicky

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-24-2004
Sat, 09-03-2005 - 12:32pm

Vicky,

Congratulations Miss PTO President!!! Sorry Chase had a rough start!!! So are you letting him go full day now?? Does he do well in the school environment? I have always had a hard time doing schoolwork with Nathan at home. He does sooo much better at school. He really likes to tantrum with me!! LOL

I didn't even know what he really knew until I got papers back from school. And thank heavens for conferences!!!! Kindergarten really showed me what Nathan could do at school. So now at home, I don't feel like I'm pushing him so much. I figure he's just acting like a 6yr old who doesn't want to do his homework!!! LOL And this year, 1st grade, there's more work expected of him!

I can relate to what you said, about not knowing if its just typical kid behavior or if he's having a autie moment!!! Nate goes back and forth!!!LOL

Michelle

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-24-2005
Sat, 09-03-2005 - 2:11pm

Michelle,

The kids are very accepting of Chase at school but to see him you would think he had no idea where he is because he appears very disconnected and in his own head. If they put work in front of him he does it and gets everything right but he has to be prompted repeatedly.

And BTW, 1st grade was a shock for us too! The amount of sheet work Chase did last year was crazy. I'm happy to report that 2nd grade has much less work so I think that will be a good thing for Chase.

Is Nathan mainstreamed? I go back and forth on whether I'm doing the right thing but I have a friend who is a teacher and she insists that the social awareness gained by Aspies in mainstream schools is very important. I'll keep him there as long as he is thriving but when he reaches middle school I will probably reevaluate his situation. Signed, The President, LOL!

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-24-2004
Sat, 09-03-2005 - 6:48pm

Vicky,

Nathan is mainstreamed and always has been. He only went to a special preschool 2 days a week, in addition to his regular preschool (he received speech there).

He LOVED going to the special preschool. I think because he was more advanced than the other kids and also because he could be himself. I like that he could be himself, but he wasn't learning how to....work on his behaviors. Not that I want him to change and be NT, but being mainstreamed has really helped with this. It also challenges him too, to be and do the best that he can. Going to the special preschool, he didn't have to compromise. He was never pressured to do anything, they stayed intune with his sensory needs, and really didn't focus on flexible. Sometimes that's a good thing, but I'm also trying to teach Nathan to be somewhat flexible and not so rigid. I don't expect him NEVER to be rigid, because that's who he is, but I do want him to learn how to adapt when needed.

The outside world isn't always going to be the way he wants it to be, so I want him to be able to know what to do if he gets into a situation. I think it would be different if he actually "couldn't handle" being mainstreamed. Because I definitely wouldn't want to push him into doing something he can't. He still loves school and enjoys going, so that let's me know that he's doing fine there. We don't have alot of options though, where we live. Nathan is HFA so that means he's mainstreamed here. It would be different if we had schools here that were for HFA children and actually worked on their behaviors.

Nathan does tend to look as though he's in his own world too. He also needed help last year moving from one task to another. Just prompting and redirection. I don't know yet how he's doing this year, but his aid told me yesterday that she doesn't have to be in his class that much this year. She says he's doing great with talking and interacting more.

BTW, I'm scared about middle school too!!!

Michelle