School choices for son being held back

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-24-2006
School choices for son being held back
2
Wed, 01-23-2008 - 1:56am

DH and I have decided to hold back our oldest son, Kyle, from kindergarten for a year. This is supported by most who know Kyle, including my mom, DH's parents and my son's pediatrician.

Kyle has a lot of developmental delays due to Asperger's Syndrome and might also have ADHD. It's hard because intellectually, he is on time (maybe even ahead in some areas), but in ALL other areas he is behind. He is very immature for his age and very small at 3 feet, 3 inches tall and 30 pounds. He is not potty trained and has NO interest in learning. He does not eat independently all of the time (not even very often) and won't eat food that has to be chewed a lot. (He hates to eat - sigh.) He does not dress himself. Socially, he is more of a 3-year-old. My biggest fear in sending him onto kindergarten next year is that he will be made fun of a lot, especially if he isn't potty trained. And, he can be a bit of a bully himself, wanting to get a reaction from kids (including crying) for the things he does. Having been born May 28, Kyle is only 2 months and a few days from the Aug. 1 deadline, making him a young 5 if he were to go onto kindergarten.

Also, there is a push in our district to send kids with an IEP to their home school if at all possible. I do not like our home school at all. (I don't even want my youngest going there.) The principal has gotten rid of experienced teachers and hired ones right out of college whom she can control. A lot of teachers left the school for another district school - big red flag there.

Kyle's current teacher recently observed the teacher Kyle would get for kindergarten, and she ended up saying she would NOT recommend that class for him. Well, that's the teacher he'd get unless I could push hard for Kyle to get sent to another school. (And yet Kyle's teacher thinks he should go onto kindergarten! There is also a push in our district to send ALL kids to kindergarten based solely on their age. That philosophy goes against common sense I think.)

Kyle's teacher did recommend enrolling Kyle for kindergarten so he could get services at that school next year instead of some other location between like 4 and 7 p.m. (not very good hours). So I will go ahead and do that, but no way will I send Kyle there for kindergarten.

Now for my question: I have maybe two choices as to where to send my son next year. Which sounds better to you?

* To a non-profit preschool class for 4-year-olds. It would be very similar to what Kyle has now - where there are up to 12 kids, with half having IEPs and the other half not, and with a teacher and one or two assistants. This would be five mornings a week.

* To the district preschool (where he is his now), but in a typical class with 3- to 5-year-olds. I'm not sure that I can get 5 days a week. It might be as few as 3 days a week, but I think I might be able to get 4. Kyle goes to school 4 days a week now.

The big problem with the non-profit one is that I will not know if they have a spot for Kyle until August! Pluses: Kyle could get more help with his issues; he'd have school 5 days a week; and the curriculum might be a bit higher because it's for 4-year-olds and not 3-year-olds. Another minus: I think the setup might not be the best for getting Kyle socially ready for regular kindergarten.

The big problem with the district class is that I probably can't get 5 days a week. But I think the setup would be a good bridge to regular kindergarten next year. Kyle would be in a class with more kids - up to 18 maybe - and with a little less support from staff.

I am leaning toward the district class. What do others think of that?

Michelle
Mom to Kyle (5-28-03) and Luke (3-28-07)

As a side note: We plan to move to another part of the district in spring or summer 2009 so our kids will attend what we believe to be a better elementary school. We like the district overall and it has an alternative high school that Kyle might want to attend down the line.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Wed, 01-23-2008 - 8:42am

Well, we are dealing with something similar.

                                

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-26-2003
Wed, 01-23-2008 - 10:29am

Hi Michelle,


I agree with Heather.