School decisions again
Find a Conversation
| Thu, 05-25-2006 - 7:29pm |
Well, I am back in a place where I am thinking about changing Cait's school program. I had said prior to her starting this program that if it didn't work out I would homeschool her or similar. Well, I just feel it really isn't working. I am having a hard time deciding what to do with her though.
My therapist is right. Cait would be a very tough child to homeschool and to mother. She has some cognitive learning troubles as well as AS that can be tough to deal with. She gets very frustrated. So I would be the bad guy on both accounts and never get a break. It is possible but it could get ugly and no way can I homeschool her and Mike.
1. There are a couple programs that are part time homeschool and part time school. Both are very close by and she would be in school 2-4 days a week depending on the program.
Pro's
- small classes and school (150 in entire middle school program)
-individualized learning
-emphasis on the arts in middle school program, career training program in HS.
-core curriculum taught in AM and afternoons have other opportunities.
-great philosophies about teasing, responsibility, personal growth, etc.
Con's
-may not have resources for special needs kids particular those of the autism persuasion
-some homeschooling requirements. Not sure how that would go with her getting confused between us, etc.
2. There is a Non public small special needs school not far away. This is the one I usually think of for Mike.
Pro's
-Great program for HFA/AS kids as well as other HF special needs
-program includes sensory in it as well as a structure that includes yoga, etc
-curriculum includes living skills such as paying bills, keeping a budget, job training, shopping, etc. Cait is learning these at home but still is very dependent on me. I think with someone else teaching it too it will help independence.
Con's
-no inclusion or mainstreaming with typical peers
-No access to things like school dances, sporting events and other typical middle and high school activities.
-have to get the district to pay for it (fun)
Con all together - leaving her 2 friends and school dances.
grrrrr any input?
Renee


Pages
I knwo you arent a huge fan of tony attwood, but when he discussed the issue of homeschooling he suggested instead of homeschooling yourself, bring someone into your home to do it for you.
Powered by CGISpy.com
I don't have a whole lot of experience in this, but I will tell you that for me, maintaining ds's friendships is a priority.
Tina, Debbie, Thank you. I do appreciate your input.
As far as bringing in someone to do the homeschooling for me, that is the nice thing about these programs I am looking into. They do go to school at least 2 days a week so there is another educator. I couldn't do 5 days a week with her. The concern there is still how well they handle SN kids. I am still waiting for a reply on that. The nice thing here is that the program I really like, I know the principal/director on an aquaintance level. I taught her son preschool catechism and she taught Emily 1st grade catechism. I think I can ask her but her email wasn't on the website. Her underlings were. I don't have it (aquaintance level relationship) but I know I will see her sunday at church.
As for maintaining friendships, I agree it is important. I have learned though that when it isn't daily contact it is hard to maintain. And often for my kids it is hard to maintain anyway. Any friendships that have been long term have only been maintained because I was frieds with the parents.
Fortunately in this case, one of the boys Cait knows from youth group and church too. So that will help maintain the friendship. The other is the other AS boy and I doubt thier relationship will even continue next year unless they are in the same classes. Right now Cait and Mitchell are in all the same classes and share the same aide. Both are AS and both have social problems. They called each other at the beginning of the year but currently don't even think too except on rare occasions so I doubt that thier friendship will continue unless they are put in the same classes. They have a possibility of being in the same classes since both need an aide so they will likely be put together to share one again.
That is the one reason I have thought to keep her there. However, I do know that if I pull her out, even if they see each other on occasion it won't be the same. They will not be able to maintain a relationship without the regular contact of having to be together.
There is the tough part of this decision. But I can't have her not learning either. I don't know what to do in this case at all.
Renee
Renee,
The school year is about over, right? Do you have reason to believe that Cait's program will be similarly mismanaged next year? If yes, you you have any options or opportunities to mitigate these risks without moving her?
Does DH or Cait have an opinion on this? I would be interested to get their take. Not that I think you should take Caiti's opinion as law, but you might want to take it into account.
The homeschool things sounds great for a typical kid, but I think a lot of the fun you are having in public school is with regular teachers who don't really 'get' Cait's issues, so I don't see how changing her to a all regular ed environment will help that issue any. Especially of she is abput the only AS kid there. She may be an oddity, and either treated with kid gloves, or treated harshly to avoid 'showing favoritism'. I dont; mean to be harsh on these people, but you KWIM...
Also will she be get speech, OT, social skills classes or anything else she needs in that program?
The SpecEd program sounds promising in a way, but enough to prompt such a drastic move? I don't know...
Personally, I think you should leave her where she is for at least the first 3 months of next year, with a really detailed and tight IEP, and review around the holidays.
HTH
-Paula
visit my blog at www.onesickmother.com
Dear Renee,
Well, as you know, we have never had Malcolm in inclusion or mainstreaming. And therefore I do not know what the benefite of having them there with typical peers actually is, as much of what I hear doesn't sound very beneficial, teachers who don't understand or get it, and very little friendship or interaction with NT kids! Where exactly is the benefit of being with typical peers?
We are very happy with Malcolm's friendships being maintained through constant playdates outside of school and at afterschool activities. And of course, because he is in private special needs school, he does have LOTS of friends at school. I think many people have an idea that a private special needs school would be full of kids who can't talk, laugh and properly socialize, but this is certainly NOT our experience. I just put Malcolm on the bus to his school and I could already hear 5 of them yapping away about the upcoming long weekend and what they were all going to do.
You might find that Cait also would develop many more wonderful friends were you to decide to put her at the private school or even at homeschool program in smaller classes with much less pressure -- plus she would have the bonus of also getting an education. Our kids do learn more if classes are smaller and teachers more understanding or better yet, trained to work with kids like her... We know several bright ASD kids doing terrific in small NT private schools, very little support.
Individualized learning is very good for kids like Cait, instead of expecting her to somehow learn in a room full of kids from a teacher who doesn't put in any extra effort. And she could potentially keep up her friendship with the 2 friends she has now. Any chance you could arrange for her to still attend the school dances, sporting events as a guest? I bet you could. Also, are you sure the private school doesn't have some of these types of activities? Some do.
And the homeschooling program could be excellent. What support are you thinking she will need in smaller, homeschool mix program? If the program is more manageable for her, she may not need much support there. But isn't it also possible to maintain speech, OT, through the public schools even if you pull her from school? I know that is legally possible, but of course might involve some more fighting. But if Cait is not being given a free and appropriate education ...
I think you should seriously look into all your options. Cait's education is crucial, and this whole year the current program has been floundering and mismanaged. I would have some pretty big pow-wows with the program director and teachers ASAP. Let them know in no uncertain terms how unhappy you are with this past year. They must be wanting to review the program? How do the other parents in the ASD program feel? I doubt I would give the current program much more opportunity unless I saw alot of action and self-awareness and question-asking at the top level of the program, capesh? The problem doesn't sound like it was her IEP, it was teachers who literally don't know when she isn't learning, right? Inexcusable, INHO.
We do know of one family that has child in school part of day and with a tutor (which they pay for) the rest of the day. Kid is working very, very hard, but this way he gets exposure to NT peers and school, but doesn't therefore miss out on an education. This world is just crazy, isn't it?
Good luck with all this. Cait is a lucky lady to have you for a mom!
Sara
Cait's program will definitely be similiarly mismanaged next year as it is the same manager as this year. She will be in exactly the same program with the same AS support teacher. The aide will change but I am even less impressed with the other aides in the program. She will have different mainstream teachers but the ones this year were handpicked by the AS support teacher as the best ones that she works with. So not alot of hope there. The administration of the school wants more to do with public policy and how thier school "looks" to others than about the kids so not alot of hope there either.
The school is one of the NCLB performing schools. Only one in the district for middle school (richer area with more affluent kids. Other schools have a mix of latino and english speaking kids). So this year because of extra kids coming in from NCLB they moved the AS support room to a closet between the band room and the gymnasium. Will not hear of moving it to a more appropriate spot. They supposidly are putting up sound proofing walls. Some have gone up but so far it doesn't help at all. I hear stories of how Cait is sick of the spongebob song the band is practicing that she hears all during her study skills class. Because of NCLB, next year the school is getting another 200 kids when already they can't fit the ones they have.
You are right about the general ed teacher thing and the homeschool program. That is my biggest concern. In fact the first thing I wrote in my email to them was "my daughter is 12 and has Asperger Syndrome" and the next was asking what supports do they have at thier school for a child like that. We shall see. I either scared them away or they will come up to the plate, eh?
The school doesn't use typical grading and is big on individualized education and progress. That part there may appeal to an Aspie type kid. Don't know. Have to see for myself. It is a charter school. Some are great with different kids. Some aren't.
Not sure one the speech, OT, etc. She should as it is still considered public school so the public school has to provide. The problem is the charter for this school comes from a district an hour away from here. That district I believe would be the one in charge of providing those services. Iwill have to meet the speech, OT, etc to decide if they are worth thier salt, just like I have to at other schools. But they should have one. Most charter schools have thier charter from the district they are in but this one is a bigger one with lots of schools.
On leaving her, we just had her triennial IEP a month ago. It is a really really tight detailed IEP but it already is not being implemented. At least not adequately. That is why I am so frustrated. Part of it is that she is supposed to have a calendar with long term assignments divided up, etc. The calendar was put in right away but all that is written on it is birthdays. I know they made Cait fill it in herself. The point was to teach her how to break down assignments. Yet here we are 1 month and 3 big assignments later and nada.
On the first assignment she got a 59% because it was only 1/2 done because she didn't know it was due until the due date. The teacher decided not to correct it on the due date and Cait worked on it that night and got 1/2 of it done, the second one was due today adn she doesn't even have the rough draft done and didn't know the rough draft was due 2 days ago and the final today, and the third assignment is due Tuesday and they dind't even start on it until this week and that is the one I think the teacher is doing with erh and probably practically doing for her because it was put off too long.
That is just one piece of the new IEP that wasn't implemented. It was just the most important one to me at this point in time.
vent vent vent, lol. I better go get her ready for school.
Renee
Renee,
I'd be sending a letter notifying them they are out of compliance with the IEP and you expect them to rectify it right now or you'll file a state complaint. You've tried to work with them and have been nice enough.
I'm sorry you are having to make such a tough decision. I'd just wait and see if they reply to your email. Are there any other options out there?
Samantha
Wow! that's a lot to think about!
keeping her in the current program doesn't sound like it's a good plan. The special needs school sounds ok. The homeschool/charter school sounds really good. We've looked into some homeschool options here. I've found that homeschoolers and their advocates don't even blink when you say "my child learns differently" or "my child has autism" instead they say, "we can help you find some resources" or "we focus on individualized learning and small class sizes" My concern w/ homeschooling is more that I would be the children's teacher. For Weston and Martha that means they might have more dependence on me than they already have. For the older kids it means that I'm the bad guy all the time. As for the socialization, church youth and community activities are all my kids do anyway (no dances or extra curriculars for us right now)
I think dig deep into each option and weigh the pros and cons for awhile.
Betsy
Renee,
Since middle school years are the hardest (speaking from my Daughter's experience), I would look into to a small private school and then she can go to public high school. I feel the girls are more mature at high school. If Cait cannot handle the private school then you can think of transfering to special needs school. Cait seems to have amazing talents.
- Anandhi
I am currently part-time homeschooling my AS son. I would love to have a program such as you have that would support homeschooling. The private school sounds good too. One thing that I wanted to mention was that after a while homeschooling isn't as intimidating as it is from the outset. I think that with a program like the one you describe you would have a lot of support and you probably know more about your daughter and autism than the typical special ed teacher anyway.
Good luck on your decision!
Pages