School problems with my NT

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-24-2004
School problems with my NT
3
Fri, 03-03-2006 - 3:56pm

I have no idea what's going on with Tyler. But this year is just not going so well.

Spring Conferences are coming up, and they are not mandatory. Only if the teacher wants to see the parents or vice versa. Well, this is the first year that I've been asked to schedule a conference with Tyler's teacher. And I'm not surprised!

He never seems to understand his homework, can't remember what the teacher discussed in class, can't copy anything down accurately, does not do well on any tests....even the ones he studys for!!! He can't remember anything!!! Only things HE wants to remember!

I know this year for 3rd grade, more responsibility is thrown at them....as it is every year they get older! But he's just not taking it well. It's his first year at this school, so he is the "new" kid. He was also out for a week and a half for his surgery. And since his immune system is still building itself back up...he's been sick a couple of times since his surgery. But I'm just not sure what to think!!!

Sometimes I wonder if it has anything to do with Nathan .....because Nathan always seems to need a little extra help. I wonder if it's his way of getting more attention from me. But then there are alot of times that it just seems like he's LAZY!! He is constantly talking about how he hates school, it's useless, I don't like homework, etc, etc....I could go on! LOL

How do your NT's do at school? Do you think that having an autie/aspie at home has anything to do with how well or how bad the NT's do at school?? Or do I just have a typical, lazy, self absorbed, PE/LUNCH/RECESS loving, playstation addicted 9yr old boy???

michelle

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-03-2004
Fri, 03-03-2006 - 5:48pm

DearMichelle,

hhhhmmmmm. Well, I hate to suggest this, but is it possible that there might actually be something more going on? Like, he really is having some trouble following this teacher, remembering things he learned? Maybe there is something more functionally difficult going on? After all, he does have a brother on the spectrum...

Most children don't just stop learning and doing well for no reason. Maybe the jump in workload is now really too challenging and he might actually have some processing issues, attention difficulties, that really weren't an issue for him when the work and demands were easier?

And then, of course, a move is always very stressful. Bring the new kid is rough. Does he have close friends yet? Does he like his teacher? Being the older brother of an autie and part of a family dealing with autism is also stressful. How's his eating and sleeping, general well being at home? Interests? Friendships outside of school?

Anyways, unless there is depression or other extenuating circumstances, I just find it hard to believe that having an autie brother who gets more attention or being just lazy are really the only 2 options.

Maybe the meeting with the teacher will begin to make things clearer.

((((HUGS)))) to you and him,

Sara
ilovemalcolm

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Fri, 03-03-2006 - 6:16pm

I agree with Sara, but at the same time I wouldn't panic just yet. Around 3rd or 4th grade is a big transition for kids from the easier work to more responsibility and long term assignments.

If you mix this tougher schedule and year with a transition like a move and moving to a new school, PLUS throw in a surgery on the side and he could be overwhelmed. I don't know how his teacher is but if he has less than a stellar teacher he may just be struggling a bit.

I would definitely keep a close eye on it. Ask the teacher for regular communication on the issues. If at this time he is falling behind grade level, ask for him to be evaluated just in case. If she doesn't feel he is falling behind I would probably keep a close eye for the remainder of this year and the beginning of next year.

Did you know kids don't have to be special ed to get some supports in school? There may be some supports available for him in your school now just to get him over this hump and see if those work. In fact part of an IEP for LD type kids is to be sure that regular classroom modifications where tried first before referral for special ed.

Emily struggles on and off. I think she may have some mild LD's but this year is doing much better in school. She had a rough K and 1st grade but her teachers were great and tried to help her as best they could without a referral. The 1st grade teacher even referred Emily for reading tutoring which helped tremendously.

((((HUGS)))))

Like I said, keep an eye on things and make sure he doesn't fall behind. At the same time I wouldn't panic just yet. It could just be a tough year.

Renee

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iVillage Member
Registered: 02-24-2004
Fri, 03-03-2006 - 7:01pm

I've definitely been thinking about the LD thing! He already gets help for reading....so that's been nice. He's not doing below grade average right now, but he's mostly getting C's. So his teacher (at the fall conference) said that she wasn't real concerned, but was keeping an eye on him. He's got a great teacher, and I talk to her alot...but there's always kids around, so I don't get to talk to her alone very often. I went into her classroom this morning, but 2 kids showed up, and I didn't want to discuss Tyler's work in front of his classmates.

The problem is that he can do really good work. I've seen him do it. And he becomes so proud of himself too. But yet he can't continuely do this. He's consistently blaming someone or something for his bad grades.

They also have paras that come into the classroom to help with math and other subjects with the kids. I'll have to just wait and talk with his teacher. Maybe she can shed some more light on the situation.

michelle