School question

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-24-2004
School question
5
Sun, 10-09-2005 - 1:40pm

How often do you hear from your child's teacher, spec ed teacher (and/or director), school therapists, ect.??? Do they ever give you updates?

I haven't heard from anyone, except when "I" make the contact. They don't give me info unless I ask for it. Is this the norm??? I show my face alot, I pick up the boys and drop them off. EVERYONE knows me, I did make sure of that last year. I don't butt in or anything, I keep my distance. They have plenty of opportunities to tell me things, but choose not too. Just the other day, I asked Nathan's teacher if his class was doing AR'S yet. This is an Accelerated Reader program that they have in my area. Basically the kids read a book and then take a multiple question test on the computer regarding the book. The kids gain points and then can use the points to purchase items in the office. Anyway, his teacher says that the other kids have started. But Nathan and the other little boy (adhd) haven't yet, because the spec ed teacher is still working with them on other things. ???????? I informed her that he's reading. So she looks surprised and then said that she would send the reading book home with him. This took a couple of days, and I got the impression that she had to "clear" it with the spec ed teacher.

Conferences are not until Nov. So, I'm going to wait til then to express my concerns. I was going to do it now, but I think now that I've "said" something, I'll wait and see what they do(now that they know I'm on to them). And this gives me time to write down some of my concerns and keep a close watch on them. I'm now looking thru Nathan's backpack AT SCHOOL before we leave, just incase I have any questions. He has been given homework assignments with no real explainations. And Nathan CAN'T TELL ME ANYTHING, DUH!!!!

I just don't want Nathan to NOT do things, he KNOWS how to do. If he's capable, why not let him do what the rest of the class is doing? That's how it was last year here in kindy. His kindy teacher seemed to run the show, but I have a feeling that his 1st grade teacher doesn't. Everything goes thru the spec ed teacher.

I had made an issue about something in Nathan's class last year, and I think that this may be why the spec ed teacher is keeping her distance. Basically, something was discussed and not implemented, so I said something (how dare I!!!!!LOL) I feel like I'm the only parent that has "questions" for her. She did mention once to me that alot of parents do not take an "active" role inregards to their children. Maybe she prefers it this way!?

Michelle

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Sun, 10-09-2005 - 3:37pm

i am in a similar situation with austin. i believe i'm now known as the resident b-i-t-c-h as i want to be kept informed. to make a long story short, we had a meeting once a month added to the iep. i think it's important because you want to know that your child is being challenged and that you are able to carry over stuff at home. i have to thicken my skin a bit and not care if they talk about me. this is my child and i don't care if others don't take an interest in their children.

so, go for it!! ask whenever and whoever. ask what is the easiest way to KEEP contact whether it be phone, email, or a daily notebook.

valerie

~Valerie
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Sun, 10-09-2005 - 4:18pm

Michelle,

If I were you I would request an IEP meeting to update on progress. You really can do this at any time and they must have one within one month. At that time I would express your concern about wanting to be regularly updated but are concerned about constantly having to bug them. Then work out some sort of communication type plan and have it added to the IEP.

This communication can be a simple as a weekly note home or email communication, daily log, etc. He has an aide, perhaps send a notebook back and forth and the aide can add a little daily note. The teacher can add whenever she wants and you can write notes to them too when you need to. This is what I do with Mike. Only Mike's regular teacher writes daily notes. His aide only does on occasion, but when he was in a mainstream class the regular teacher didn't have an opportunity to do that so the aide wrote most of the notes.

Renee

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iVillage Member
Registered: 10-03-2004
Sun, 10-09-2005 - 5:43pm

Dear Michelle,

Even in very high quality special ed schools, I find that getting a little assertive with teachers and involved with what is going on with Malcolm's education is a constant good plan. In his current school, the kids have ASD and co-morbid conditions, and Malcolm has very little difficulties in school, so we have to push for them to pay more attention to him. As he is no trouble. In fact, I am already gearing up for calling a meeting next week, even though our parent-teacher conference is in early Nov. as well. I used to get great daily communication when he was in preschool, 1st year of elementary school as well, but since then we've had to be pushy.

I wasn't pushy his 2nd year of grade school, because after a great first year I was very trusting of the school and staff. I will never be that way again, as it turned out that classroom was being very poorly run, in fact was out-of-control with students acting out all over the place and under-experienced and under-supported teachers running around like chickens with their heads cut off, blaming the students. As Malcolm was just "disappearing", we didn't hear any of this until his school work began to suffer by late Nov. and they started to ask us "What was going on at home?" Duh, nothing, he and home were doing great! Took me 'til Jan. to get the situation really figured out and til March before they got things under control. Poor Malcolm, and what a waste.

Anyways, I would ask for the meeting, or start sending in notes requesting more feedback. or, yes, call an IEP meeting, although by the time you get that it may be time for parent-teacher conference. Oughta getcha noticed, though...

Good luck. Let us know what happens!

yours,

Sara
ilovemalcolm

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-24-2004
Sun, 10-09-2005 - 6:20pm

I think I'm experiencing the same as you did, Sara. Nathan causes no problems at school, great with his behavior, etc. They say he's doing well, and that's all they say. They used to communicate with me last year, but not so much this year. I hate to be so pushy, it's just not me. I'm also the shy type, so it's been real hard for me.

I don't think I'll ask for a meeting, especially with conferences just around the corner. I'll wait, but I'm going to ask for extra time at conferences....I always feel so rushed! I'll express my concerns about needing more feedback. Maybe I just need to be more assertive about these things!

Michelle

Avatar for betz67
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 10-10-2005 - 12:18pm

HI Michelle,

In our school in WI the OT called me often and we had a great working relationship-- his classroom teacher called me and sent me notes often as well, they were always negative and not very helpful (she believed medication would totally transform him and was not happy that this was not our thought or our Drs. She also felt he needed to be in a self contained classroom). When we moved into our new school last year, I did what I had to do to get Weston settled and then sort of sat back and watched to see how things would be. I talked to Weston's teacher and we decided it would be helpful during his parent teacher conferences to have the whole team in on the conference because we needed to see the whole picture so we just have IEP meetings instead of parent teacher conferences-- also the communication was better if all parties were in the meeting instead of just getting an email. Weston's teacher last year was a dream. She initiated contact whenever she had a great thing to report or if she was having a hard time understanding him or his actions or if there were any problems to report.

This year his teachers (he has 3) are less forthcoming w/ info, but they're good about talking to me when I call, or doing something if I send in a note. We just had parent teacher conferences Fri and I have his IEP today. I'm feeling pretty good about it, but I've learned to be assertive. I've also talked to the IEP/special ed coordinator for the building numberous times since she took the position in July (I'm thinking she thinks I'm a pain-- but it's working for us!). Weston's speech therapist has an office right on the hall where all the classroom halls come together, so whenever I'm there for any reason I usually see her. She's always willing to give an update.

I like the idea of a notebook that goes back and forth. This would have been very helpful with Weston in K and 1st grade!

Betsy