School Woes

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-18-2008
School Woes
Tue, 05-18-2010 - 4:15pm


Well dd had a rough day at school today - apparently she was packing up a game after recess and some of her classmates tried to help and she started screaming at them and ripping things out of their hands and then had a meltdown because they weren't doing it they way she wanted. She completely missed the point that they were trying to help...

These angry outbursts are becoming more common and the teacher said she had the other children sit down because Grace was so angry she was afraid she was going to hurt/hit them. :(

I can't wait to get her eval done and get on a path to help her. I took some Asperger/ASD books out of the library yesterday and I'm going to delve in and try to do some stuff because we THINK this is what we are dealing with and we don't know what else to do at this point.

We have only 4 weeks of school left (I cannot wait) and although the ADD meds are helping the homework, everything else seems to be getting worse. I have a call in to her ped. right now to see what she recommends on continuting the meds.

Thanks for listening, ladies. This board is a Godsend!!!

(mom of Grace - 6.5 - 1st grade
prelim. dx of ADD - waiting on psych eval)

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Wed, 05-19-2010 - 7:39pm

Oh I hear you on the angry outbursts.


iVillage Member
Registered: 06-16-2004
Wed, 05-19-2010 - 9:28pm

Just wanted to say that many children, not only ASD kids get upset when someone is trying to help them. I have worked with kids under age 8 for the last 8 years. Your DD had a vision in her head of how to complete the task and someone interfered. This is totally normal developmental behavior. You may already be seeing that kids on the spectrum mature a lot later than typical kids.

I know it is frustrating but maybe you could use it as a "teaching moment" and explain that the others were only trying to help and that in the future she just needs to let them know she would prefer to finish by herself.

If she is on the spectrum it is difficult for her to know what others are thinking -- she may not even be aware that others are thinking anything different from her yet. This is called interactive perspective taking and it may take years to achieve for some ASD kids.

We need to coach our kids on things most other kids learn by osmosis, so at a time she is calm and doing something she enjoys you might say, "Remember what happened on the playground..." Then explain what the others were thinking and what she needs to say next time. These are called social stories and often you will have to remind her again and again how to handle similar situations.

Hang in there. And remember you can vent here ANYTIME you need to!

--Christine, mom to Jonah, 14, PDD-NOS/processing delays, and NT Jameson, 12

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-07-2008
Fri, 05-21-2010 - 9:45am

I'm sorry it is so difficult for you. You don't have to wait for a diagnosis to be proactive in trying to help the teachers support your child, though. Have you seen this?

If any of the issues on the list seem to make sense to you, you might want to try giving Grace's teachers a copy.


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iVillage Member
Registered: 09-18-2008
Sun, 05-23-2010 - 10:03am

Thanks ladies for all your support. So glad I found this board. It helps me realize that I'm not nuts - that all of this is real and that there are people out there who understand. I'm just tired of being viewed as the overprotective, paranoid, coddling mom. I have lots of friends with children Grace's age and they are wonderful, but they just don't understand. This board is amazing!!