school ?-WWYD

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-11-2007
school ?-WWYD
Sun, 08-29-2010 - 2:35pm

I mostly kind of lurk on here but had a question.. My ds is 10 and in 5th grade. He has Aspergers and ADHD. In a main stream classroom, He started school on last Wed. and the teacher and school seemed to be on the same page with everything and us. So Fri. he had his first blow up (outburst) in class, when his class was talking and making rules and consequences for the classroom. He has a particular girl in the classroom that he has issue with that made some off comment referring to him, and I'm not sure how the teacher dealt with it. But most of problem comes in when alot of the rules my ds felt were directed at him.

Am I wrong in thinking that doing something like letting student make their own rules and consequences might be hard on a child like my ds and knowing he was in the class should not have done that.. I mean the school has set policies and most of the other classrooms don't do it. I really don't know how to phrase this and hope not over exaggerate things during the first few weeks of school (as his teacher knows my husband and has been a teacher for awhile) She takes on the kids will be kids approach and states that ds is just like any other boy in her class and more behaved than some. Just looking for some insight??

And just for those who may remember the last posting, this is the school who informed the whole class of his condition (we have been there dealt with that) and I have decided that I have no problem pulling him on homeschool at this point..

Thanks In Advance

Jennifer.. mama to 4 great kiddos!!

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-07-2008
Mon, 08-30-2010 - 9:10am

My son hates this kind of stuff too. He's never sure of the status of the rules, or what to do if he disagrees with them, and he hates doing stuff in groups anyway. But I sort of take the view that just because he hates it, doesn't mean he shouldn't do it. I think there's a lot of evidence that involving children in setting rules and consequences works quite well (and certainly we use it in the college classroom for tutorials) - it certainly helps with anti-bullying programmes. So I don't necessarily think it was wrong to do this with an Aspie in the class, but perhaps greater effort could have been made to ensure that your son understood the task properly, and wasn't left out, or singled out. He's going to come across this kind of thing more as he gets older and so he's going to need to find a way to deal with it.

Kirsty, mum to Euan (11, Aspergers Syndrome) Rohan (7, NT) and Maeve (4, NT)

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iVillage Member
Registered: 01-25-2007
Mon, 08-30-2010 - 3:43am
I would approach the teacher if your son feels that the rules created were directed toward him. Keep in mind that his perception may be different than everyone else's.