School year falling apart

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
School year falling apart
4
Thu, 11-08-2007 - 7:16am

For a brief back story... There are two elementary schools in our small district. When we moved here, Haley went to school #1 for 3rd grade. She had a horribly traumatic year that was equally a nightmare for me as well. It ended up in home tutoring. The next year, we got the AS diagnosis, she went into special ed at school #2 and did fantastic. So fantastic that she was fully mainstream as of the 2nd semester and finished the year on the merit roll.

The miserable district decided that they were going to move the special ed classes to school #1 for this year so we got notice that Haley would have to transfer back to school #1 which held horrible memories for her. I voiced my concerns but they were placated. The year started off ok but now it is falling apart. Haley is miserable and wants to go back to special ed. She is allowed to be sent back without a meeting as per her IEP but they won't do it! They insist she's just being obstinate but I think it is more than that. Of course they won't listen and just keep telling me that they are keeping my notes that I send in about it. Haley won't work in class anymore (which is what happened in 3rd grade). I can't blame her because she is fighting the frustration at school all day. Takes us HOURS to do all the work she brings home. She goes back to school and if something isn't done, she's put in study hall so she doesn't get recess. Then back to hours of homework... She's shutting down. They say she's just being stubborn but she is SHUTTING DOWN and they won't hear it.

Haley says the work is too hard... especially math... and she is frustrated. She can't concentrate or keep focus in class. She feels like a fish out of water... like she just doesn't belong there. She breaks down in tears almost every night. This year is going to go right into the garbage if I don't do something but I don't know what to do. Do I demand she be put back in the special ed class which will make her very happy? Do I pull her out and homeschool (which I'm considering) or do I try and make her stay in mainstream because she is academically capable but will be miserable beyond belief?

I also do not think her IEP is being followed anymore since they transferred the classes. I am ready to request a CSE meeting. I know it has to be done in writing (which I hate btw) but what needs to go in the letter? Just the request itself or do I need to put specific things in the letter?




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Mom to Erin (19) and Haley (10yo Aspie)


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Mom to Erin (19) and Haley (10yo Asp
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-02-2007
Thu, 11-08-2007 - 10:20am

I know how you feel!

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Thu, 11-08-2007 - 10:45am

Thank you so much. I will definitely look into a workshop if I can find one. That sounds like a great idea. I'm looking at finding an parents advocate now actually. I am so frustrated with this whole thing. The teacher also says she wants Haley to stay in mainstream because sending her back to special ed is like going backwards. Maybe, maybe not. Maybe Haley needs to go backwards a bit so that she can move forward, you know? Why can't the school see that? Well... I know why but it makes me angry. GRRRRRR!

The teacher keeps saying that Haley is capable. She just isn't cooperating. She keeps saying that we need to try and make her successful in the mainstream class. But then every single day, she sends notes home saying how Haley refuses to work or cooperate. How is that being successful? Geez!!!

I am trying to avoid homeschooling if I can mostly because I may end up having to go back to work and that would be a serious problem. But I will be pushing the school with everything I have to make sure they give Haley what she needs. The only plus side right now is that the principal is a new guy and is REALLY nice. So I'm hoping I can get him on the right side of the coin here and work with me to get things on the right track.




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Mom to Erin (19) and Haley (10yo Aspie)


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Mom to Erin (19) and Haley (10yo Asp
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-2006
Thu, 11-08-2007 - 11:31am

Wow, basically they threw her to the wolves without any kind of support in the classroom at all.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Thu, 11-08-2007 - 11:46am
Thanks Lainie. I am certainly open to those options. I will be asking a number of questions on what we can do. Whether she spend half the day in SE, all day, have an aide in the mainstream... whatever works out best for her. But I agree... they did in fact throw her to the wolves. I just hope we can get this resolved without too much of a battle. I think once I get the CSE meeting set up, we will get it worked out. Dealing with the teachers personally is not getting me anywhere.



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Mom to Erin (19) and Haley (10yo Aspie)


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Mom to Erin (19) and Haley (10yo Asp