Second child diagnosed - is third destinted to be as well?

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-17-2002
Second child diagnosed - is third destinted to be as well?
Thu, 12-08-2011 - 3:52pm

My oldest DS was dx with PDD-NOS at 3.5. We weren't really surprised. He had a brain injury (enlarged ventricles) from birth and had developmental delays. It's been a constant uphill battle with him. He has ADD associated with the PDD but can't tolerate stimulants. The one non-stimulant that helped his attention span made him very hostile and aggressive to the point of endangering his brothers. Homework is a daily battle, complete with yelling and tears on both our parts. We don't go out much because it's just to hard and too embarrassing with the meltdowns.

My middle DS started kindergarten this fall. He was put on an IEP in preschool for social issues and speech issues but was doing pretty well by the end of preschool. KG did not start well, He wouldn't speak to anyone (he doesn't stop talking at home - ever). He wouldn't follow directions. The school claimed he couldn't write or draw until I showed them things he'd done at home and they were shocked. He was almost potty trained over the summer but regressed when my youngest DS was burned by coffee and spent a week in a burn unit. He's still in pullups and just has no interest in potty training. He's become defiant lately and has started having more meltdowns and wanders off in stores to the point that I can't take him out with me anymore either. The homework hasn't started yet but I fear it when it does. Today he was dx with ADHD and PDD-NOS.

What is the future for my two PDD kids and what do I expect for my 2yo? Will my older kids ever have normal, independent lives? Will they get to go to college? Will they get married and have kids? Is my youngest destined to be autistic as well? The doctor indicated to me that with two kids on the spectrum, while it's not a done deal, we should prepare ourselves that all three will likely be on the spectrum. I'm just devastated. I know the daily struggles with my oldest and the idea of having that daily struggle with three kids makes me want to go empty out the liquor cabinet. We were hoping to have one more child but I just can't do it. I can't take the risk of having four kids that all need such constant and hands-on assistance and supervision. There's just not enough of me to go around adequately.

Anybody else have multiple kids with spectrum disorders? Any that have multiple kids dx'd and typical kids? I'd really like some hints at what I might be facing the next 16+ years.



iVillage Member
Registered: 09-18-2009
I have three on the spectrum too. Just want you to know you're not alone. Take it one day at a time and breathe!