self injury, self loathing
Find a Conversation
| Fri, 08-12-2005 - 9:53pm |
Peter has self-injured for a long time. It gets better when he is on an upswing, worse through a downswing or regression. I always thought his self-injury was the result of overwhelming emotion -kind of a 'boiling over' into physical assertion. Part of it was also was definitely for show. He self-injured far less in the presence of an adult who completely ignored the behaviour (i.e. me), and more in an "Oh honey, Please don't do that" environment.
Well recently, he has not been happy at camp, and my theory regarding his self-injury is changing: I think it is self-punishment; -a manifestation of self loathing, as he now accompanies this bhaviour with very denegrating comments about himself ("I'm an ugly beast. Nobody loves me" -that kind of thing.) It's untrue and heartbreaking.
Anyhoo, we are fast getting to the point where intervention is needed, and I don't know what to do. I suspect what is going on here goes beyond Aspergers; or does it? I am wondering if there is a mood issue too.
I guess I need some guidance. Who do I see? what should I do? Another evaluation?
Crumbs. It never rains; but there's thunder, lightning and hail.
-Paula

Gosh Paula, I don't really know. I have been thinking about it some. I guess it depends. Mike will have bouts where he feels pretty down about himself and will say awful things too. He has had some rare self abuse but not really much to speak of thankfully. Usually as always when really stressed.
Of course, some professionals think Mike has more than AS, but the ones I trust the most think he is pretty much pure, classic AS/ASD. But when you add the stress of life and social failings on top of very sensitive kids without great coping skills then I think that something like this would be a natural byproduct.
Course, I am feeling like a poopoo head tonight cause I yelled at my boy. He has had that just constant difficult behavior lately and I have gotten to the end of my rope. But surely, soon enough he will start in probably with some of this too.
Once, Mike went through a phase where he said he wanted to die and was going to kill himself. He was probably right around Peters age then. I was very upset and went to the psychologist we were seeing to talk about it. He thought that Mike did hear those lines and such (probably even from kids shows) but didn't fully understand the concept. He was probably doing it more for attention and out of frustration for how to express himself than true suicidal tendancies and likely didn't thoroughly grasp the concept at the time. That I should talk to him once in a cool collected manner about how those statements are innappropriate and what others will think, then ignore them. It worked for Mike.
Not that it is the same for Peter, but just that Mike is pretty much AS and he has gone through that too. Cait on the other hand, I never recall her saying things like that until some just for effect this year (very rare). Gotta love puberty and girls! She is more the "you hate me" type, but that is pretty new too. LOL.
Renee
Renee,
Thanks for the good advice as always.
We get the "you hate me, you don't love me." "I don't belong in this family" thing a lot too. That doesn't bother me as much. OK. I'd rather he didn't do it, but I think it's kind of normal -at least in this family. I remember myself and at least one sister going through *that* phase.
I will have a chat with him in a calm environment and see if it gets through. I will also speak to camp (again) about ignoring self injury, but I suspect they won't do it.
It's only one more week at least, then we are off on vacation (another battle. Loathe to leave his comfort zone, Peter has volunteered to stay and watch the house and the dog. Yeah. CPS would love that...)
-Paula
visit my blog at www.onesickmother.com
Paula,
I think you have definate reason for concern. This sounds like childhood depression to me. I think you should definately seek consultation with a child psychiatrist ASAP. Please keep us posted on what happens.
Suzi
Suzi,
I was hopng you'd respond. Thank you for your input. I will talk to the Ped about a referral.
-Paula
visit my blog at www.onesickmother.com
Hey Paula,
it's been a while since I've posted, but Liam was dx with his mood disorder ling before the pdd. I have read that up to half of kids on the ASD spectrum also suffer from a mood disorder. I know both Liam and his cousin does. I would head towards a child psychiatrist before a psychologist. It's waht worked for us. Liam's self loathing and major mania and depression is pretty much under control again.
Dee