Seriously, how long do I let him suffer?

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Registered: 03-20-2003
Seriously, how long do I let him suffer?
10
Wed, 02-07-2007 - 12:04am

Isaac hates school.

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Registered: 03-26-2003
Wed, 02-07-2007 - 12:19am

Call an IEP meeting. YOu don't wait any longer but you don't neccessarily have to pull him out either. Make them be accountable. His behavior is telling you that SOMETHING needs to change.

Cait went through this in 1st grade. Prior to that she had always loved school. It dawned on me that there is NO reason a child that young should hate school. Kindie and 1st grade are the fun years. If a young child hates school there is a reason and he isn't being supported appropriately.

For us it was the teacher and the school wasn't helpful. I did end up homeschooling her the end of the year and then she had a much better teacher in 2nd grade. 3rd grade was a wash again, etc. With both kids I have had situation where finally I did have to change schools to a more supportive school. Sometimes a program change helps as well.

Hold a meeting. Come up with an action plan for how to help him. If they are unable to start researching what other placement options may be neccessary.

BUT you are under orders to write a note TOMORROW to request an IEP meeting asap.

Renee

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Registered: 03-27-2003
Wed, 02-07-2007 - 12:24am

{{{HUGS}}} I can totally sympathize. From the time Victor was in 1st grade til last year, kids were picking on him something awful. Last year (4th grade) he got wise. One of the bullies that was torturing him asked for help with a math problem in class and Victor told him "As long as you're picking on me, I'm not going to help you with math. If you can prove you won't be mean anymore, I'll help".

Til that point Victor hated school, he would have stomach aches every morning. My dh and I had to compromise with each other to give him one freebie every 6 weeks to be "sick". Now we didn't tell him it was a freebie, but there were a few days I just didn't feel like fighting him. Honestly, if I had known the options 4 years ago, he wouldn't not have continued on at that school.

In other words, no advise, just LOTS of understanding how frustrated you are. and more {{{{HUGS}}}}

Alexis

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Registered: 03-20-2003
Wed, 02-07-2007 - 12:28am

I have one scheduled for next Friday morning before school.

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Registered: 11-28-2006
Wed, 02-07-2007 - 12:40am

{{{Debbie}}}

I have been going thru the same thing with my oldest. He just doesn't want to go to school, and has fits in the morning...BIG fits. How do you carry a 10 yr old to school, if they just won't budge, my son is too heavy, and even if I could, it would be a fighting and kicking thing.... total loss of control...

He has been bullied himself a few times, so I went to the principle and told her my concerns. So far so good, but I still can't get him to school.

Consequences don't work, saying its the law doesn't work, and then I feel so bad for him because he is in the middle of testing for AS, but they found Dysgraphia, but so far no IEP..... no help, nothing until this thing is all finished. The only thing he has is no homework because I sent a note to his teacher (hoping he would do more work during the day if I took off the pressure of homework). He has shut down, he has been doing nothing. They can't even grade him right now...

You know I told myself that if I ever had to, I would homeschool. I don't know how to be a teacher, but I know of a person that homeschools online, and its working great for them.

But then again I work part time, so I don't know how that would work out....

I learned about this site from a Dysgraphia group I belong too. My neighbor who is also a spec ed teacher for autistic kids said that if I had a BA/AA that the school could actually pay me to be his teacher, but that maybe in calif....

I don't know what to say, but to just give you a hug, cuz every morning I wake up and dont' know how he's going to respond...... It breaks my heart.

I'm sure this is breaking your heart too....

Anyway I read your post over again, and I think you need to copy and paste it, and march into that principles's office and let her read this. Include the teacher too.

From what I understand we are the only voices that our kids have, that they are too vulnerable (sp?) and we have to fight for our kids. Fight Fight Fight.

They can't do it for themselves since they are so little, we have to do it for them.

I am glad to see you post as I saw your weren't feeling very well. I hope Paula is doing better too.

Lainie

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Registered: 09-13-2006
Wed, 02-07-2007 - 2:19am

Oh Debbie!

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Registered: 01-02-2004
Wed, 02-07-2007 - 9:40am

Poor guy! I can't say that I understand because my daughter is only 4 now, and things like this don't happen in preschool.

I worry from time to time about when she starts reg. school. What will it be like for her. Will it be a nightmare or will she be okay?

Why do people have to be sooo mean.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-11-2003
Wed, 02-07-2007 - 9:40am

Debbie,

Good luck with your meeting. I sure know how you feel. So much so I stole your post title ;) HUGS

Samantha

Samantha
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Registered: 03-20-2003
Wed, 02-07-2007 - 1:06pm

I question how well homeschooling would go with me too, since I also work part time.

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Registered: 03-20-2003
Wed, 02-07-2007 - 1:14pm

I started out the year by putting together a huge packette of information - some on Isaac, some on Aspergers, some on autism.

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Registered: 03-25-2003
Wed, 02-07-2007 - 1:42pm

I'm sorry that things are so difficult for Isaac right now. I also ended up homeschooling my DS for about 3 months at the end of 1st grade. We were so unhappy with the school he was in and the program we wanted him in had no openings. They gave us the option of 2 other placements, but after visiting them, I could never have sent DS there.

Homeschooling doesn't have to be a permanent solution. But it can give you time to find the correct placement (hopefully it does exist!) If we ever get to the point that public school can't meet my son's needs, I'd homeschool again in a heartbeat.

The book "Choosing Home", by Martha Kennedy Hartnett (ISBN: 1843107635) is about homeschooling a child with Aspergers. It will give you hope if you choose homeschooling as a longer term solution. And if you have concerns about working and homeschooling, the homeschooling board here is very supportive and can give you suggestions. I was also working part-time and homeschooling, but all my work was done at home.

Misty