She said "i love you, Dad" Question

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-24-2003
She said "i love you, Dad" Question
Sat, 09-20-2003 - 1:38pm
Well, i have a question. But first let me tell you the good news. Normally Catie will say i love you only after prompting. "I" she will say "i" i say "love" she says "love" and so on. This morning, she went up to my DH and said "i love you Daddy" for the very first time. She still paused in between as usual, but it was unprompted. And i told Dh, isn't that music to your ear? She finally said it!

My question to you guys is, Do Aspies ever talk to themselves as if they were another person, or talk about themselves in 3rd person? I made a big deal out of her saying that to her daddy, that she followed up with an "I love you Mom, i love you Catie". Alot of times she refers to herself at Catie instead of ME. Like "Catie's Plate" and "Catie's Bear".

Is this normal speech delay or is this an Aspie thing?


iVillage Member
Registered: 03-21-2003
Sat, 09-20-2003 - 4:27pm
I would think it was a normal delay. My kids all had their

pronouns mixed up. "That belongs to She", "What is Her doing" and so on.

It was correctable.
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-23-2003
Sat, 09-20-2003 - 4:33pm
I think this is a 'normal' stage in speech development for many kids on the high end of the autistic spectrum. It takes them a long time to figure out reciprocal aspects of social speech, so they opt for calling themselves a name, instead of 'I' or 'me.' My son, Cassian (age 3 yrs 10 mos) is still in this stage, although I think he is coming out of it. He tends to use pronouns correctly when we are going through an interactive situation that is familiar to him, but is more clumsy in unfamiliar situations.

I have also noticed that Cassian will complete our social interaction games in much the way your DD did. He sometimes says, "I love you, Mommy. I love you, Daddy. I love you, Cassian." My interpretation has been that he is learning these social phrases and their meaning, as if they are a recitation of facts. He understands love, as he will often say "Hug! Kiss!" and embrace and kiss us when he uses these phrases. However, he seems to be reciting facts of our relationship. Earlier in his development, I also got the feeling that it seemed logical to Cassian to complete the interaction by saying his own name and the phrase, or as if he were prompting me to say that part. In fact, if I said, "I love you Cassian" before he did, he did not say this part of our interaction ritual. You might try doing this with your DD, to see if she just says "I love you" to herself because she thinks it needs to be said by someone in that situation.

Sometimes I think that for these young Aspies, the person who says the "I love you" part is not as important as the factual meaning of the phrase and possibly the actions that go along with it. They are also very ritualistic little people, so if the collection of phrases you have used before contains these 3 elements ("I love you" said to all members of the family), they will probably want to continue saying all 3 elements. It is likely that before kids with PDD/Asperger's have any hope of becoming spontaneous and independent in their interactions, they must go through a period of being scripted and ritualistic because this is the way they learn well.

That's my take on things.