Shoe tying and bike riding

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Registered: 03-27-2003
Shoe tying and bike riding
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Thu, 07-06-2006 - 2:00pm

Hi all! Any tips on helping DS (7, AS) learn how to tie shoes and ride a bike without training wheels?

He hates learning new things that are difficult for him (including reading, writing....basically anything that *isn't* watching tv or building with legos, bionicles..etc) I'm feeling no particular pressure to have him do these anytime soon, but would like to at least introduce them. He shows some interest in the bike w/o training wheels as that is our requirment for having a dirt bike at the in laws farm. Tying shoes is more difficult because he knows that he can just get shoes without ties.

He gets frustrated easily with new things. Lately he's been escalating into all out, "I hate myself!" tantrum when he can't get something the way he wants it. So, now may not be a great time.

I'm not even sure if he's ready. At what age did your kids tie shoes? I know that riding a bike is a while other thing which will take more practice. I'm also thinking that DH may be the one to take on this assignment as I really don't have the patience for Ds's complete lack of faith in himself at times. I can encourage and praise 'til I'm blue in the face and usually it doesn't make a lick of a difference.

Any BTDT advice?

Chrystee

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Registered: 04-07-2003
Thu, 07-06-2006 - 7:37pm

Hopefully someone else can give you better advice on when/how 'cus my kids still aren't great with either. My kids know the mechanics of both shoe tying and bike riding, but don't do either.

My 11.5yo dd is still terribly wobbly on a bike and doesn't ride much(pushed her to learn when she was around 8-9yo since her younger NT brother was learning them, too, and we thought it might cause sibling tension if one could ride and one couldn't). Despite wanting to fit in with friends and get shoes with laces, she finally gave up even trying to tie them and wore them dragging on the ground everywhere. I decided it wasn't worth the fight and now get her only slip-on or velcro shoes. 7.5yo ds still can't ride bike without training wheels, and although he learned how to tie shoes, he's sooooooo slow that even when he's willing to tie his shoes, we just don't have enough time in the day. I went back to slip-on or velcro with him, too. My NT 9yo ds knows how to tie shoes but hates having to take that 30-seconds to tie them, so we've switched back to slip-ons for him, too. I can't decide how big a life skill this really is and whether I ought to push all of 'em harder or whether it can wait until later in life.

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Registered: 06-25-2003
Thu, 07-06-2006 - 10:16pm

Is

-Paula

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Registered: 04-11-2003
Fri, 07-07-2006 - 8:45am

Ds learned the steps to shoe tying when he was in kindergarten but couldn't physically do it. It remained very difficult for him untill physical therapy/theraputic listening at age 9-10yrs. At that point it was easier for him but not like you or I or an NT kid. We couldn't find slip on shoes for him last yr (he's in mens sizes). We wanted those because it still takes a long time for him to tie and at school its just not good. So he just tied his shoes and double knotted them and treated them like slip ons. The backs of the shoes were trashed really fast. He's still wearing them though cause he hates the idea of getting a new pair. DD can tie shoes well (since age 7) but she prefers slip ons or velcrow/zippers too.

As for bike riding...both of my kids are using "fat wheels" training wheels because they outgrew the reg. training wheels. The both want to ride without but they are afraid to try. We have sent in an application for the "lose the training wheels program". Hopefully they'll get accepted and the professionals can teach them to ride.

Samantha

Samantha
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Registered: 11-12-2005
Fri, 07-07-2006 - 9:57am

My ds is 9 -AS and can tie shoes (he learned about 2 1/2 years ago) -but it took FOREVER! But you know what tying shoes is REALLY hard! We just kept making him try it and he would just keep saying "I'll never learn this, I'll never learn this" and then all of a sudden he learned it. He still prefers velcro or slip on -so do I! He did the same thing with the bike - had training wheels for awhile and we would ask "are you ready to take off the training wheels?" and he would say "No, I'm not ready" So we just kept asking every once in awhile and eventually he was ready and tried it- we took him to a park and let him practice on the grass so the fear of falling on the street or sidewalk wasn't there. He can ride great now and loves it - BTW one of his NT friends (also 9) just learned to ride his bike within the last few months....so they're all different.

As far as the praising him until your blue in the face thing - I've done it and still do it. I know it seems like it doesn't work because my son still gets very down on himself and is a perfectionist. But I have to believe that they want and really need it (even tho they don't always act like it) and the look on his face when he masters some seemingly impossible task is worth all the aggravation.

Jane

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Registered: 03-26-2003
Fri, 07-07-2006 - 10:27am

Hi Chrystee!

Shoe tying: Son is 8 and still can not tie his shoes. We have tried on several occasions to go through the steps with him but it is not easy so he gives up without even really trying. I have managed to find him velcro or slip on shoes but the bigger his feet get, the harder they are to find. I believe we have to start trying again soon. Hopefully he will have tie shoes for 3rd grade (this fall).

Two wheeler: This shocked me.....I was all prepared to take son up to the park and let him try to ride his bike without training wheels in the grass (bike is not so wobbly, can't go real fast, and a softer place to land)....but he just hopped on his bike and went. I have no idea how it happened. He had just turned 7. I did post a website earlier about a program that travels around the country to teach kids how to ride a two-wheeler in one week. I know they can help special needs kids because my friends two kids did it - the girl has CP and the boy is ASD.

3 Ws (dot) losethetrainingwheels(dot)org

HTH,
Christie

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Registered: 03-26-2003
Fri, 07-07-2006 - 11:01am

Mike "learned" the method to tying his shoes in 3rd grade, however, it is still a struggle for him and he usually can't get them tight enough that they stay tied. I often end up still tying his shoes for him and double knot them, or getting him shoes that don't need ties. It is very frustrating for him and it is quite embarrassing when he is in school and his shoes keep untying. He still practices but the fine motor for that skill just isn't quite there and I dont see it becoming an easy skill anytime soon.

Cait finally learned in 3rd grade as well. She is better about it because she has to have her sneakers REALLY tight, they have to wear sneakers to school, and velcro just wouldn't do the trick. So she got better quicker but it still takes her a relatively long time to do it. I have noticed lately it also takes her a long time to dress. Again, it is the fine motor aspect. (She is not the type who primps herself, lol.)

I use the bunny method of my own design (not the bunny ears) where I tell them to make one bunny (ear/loop) and the second bunny ear runs around the first and goes through the bunny hole. Then you pull the 2 ears tight.

BIke riding for some reason was a bit easier. I didn't think it would be for Cait but we took her to a big parking lot with no one around. And ran along side and pushed until she did it. Had lots of pads on because she did take a couple falls but with us right there to catch. She was 7 at the time. Mike decided on his own to do it the same day. This is amazing to me still because they both have balance and vestibular issues.

Dave still isn't able to go without his training wheels and he is 6 1/2. Emily learned at 6-7 too. If it is a problem past that I did see where someone recently linked about a camp that teaches kids to ride without trainers.

Renee

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Registered: 10-03-2004
Fri, 07-07-2006 - 5:19pm

Dear Chrystee,

I am not much help here. Malcolm CAN tie his shoes since age 5, but he refuses to. So he has pull-ons. I did see him tying his baseball cleats during game when in outfield this Spring, so I know he hasn't forgotten how. I chuckled to myself, but haven't mentioned it to him yet.

And after several years of also refusing to let me take the training wheels off on his bike -- even tho it was clear to me watching him on bike that he was ready -- all it took was one time seeing his best buddy ride without the wheels for him to immediately borrow the best buddy's bike and ride off into the sunset. Training wheels came off that evening and he has never looked back since. That was this past April.

Now he needs a bigger bike, his knees are bumping the handle bars, next size up has 5 gears. But in PA mountains, he NEEDS the gears, so he is looking forward to it. I just need a little free time to get to the bike store.

Sara
ilovemalcolm

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Registered: 03-25-2003
Sat, 07-08-2006 - 1:08pm

Not much help here..Until recently my ds(13, AS/ADHD) has worn slip on or velcro shoes-now it is harder to find those for his ever growing foot-we unually tie them once and he slips them on and off. As for the bike -he still can't ride one and doesn't really have the desire.

Liza