Should I, or shouldn't I?

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-18-2006
Should I, or shouldn't I?
8
Mon, 07-23-2007 - 7:47pm

Today was a particularly bad day at daycare for DD. It is my understanding from the director that one teacher was nearly in tears because of the names that my 5 year old called her. I have not given the school much information about asperger's as we don't have n official diagnosis. I want to give her teacher some information so that she'll know not to take the things she says personally. Should I give her information specifically about asperger's or should I outline some of the information I have without using a specific name? I don't want to color her judgement for when I'm asked to have her fill out some sort of diagnostic tool.

Any thoughts?

Oh, and now that I'm further from it the names are kinda funny. DD called her teacher a fithy furball and an octopus. Not sure where either name came from, or why it's bad to be an octopus, but that's just how DD's brain works I gues.

Avatar for betz67
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Registered: 03-26-2003
Tue, 07-24-2007 - 9:30am

LOL! I love the filthy furball-- that sounds like something picked up from TV or cartoons. Maybe she's using echolalia to express how she's feeling?

I don't think I'd use the label Asperger's Syndrome yet. I think telling them you're going to have her evaluated for some developmental and social issues is enough. Giving them some information on her personal issues w/o attaching a label would be useful.

Betsy

Avatar for littleroses
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Registered: 03-28-2003
Tue, 07-24-2007 - 9:34am

delete




Edited 2/19/2008 1:38 pm ET by littleroses
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Registered: 01-25-2007
Tue, 07-24-2007 - 9:52am
You know this is the biggest problem I have had in dealing with the school for my 8 yo Aspie. He is totally mainstreamed and every teacher he has had takes his behavior SOOOO personally. They become defensive and that usually escalates things. I have never met one teacher that I actually felt liked my son. My son's Doctor sent the school a letter this year explaining that these children don't have the usual censors that keep them from saying anything that pops into their heads. They don't intend to be rude they just don't know what they are doing is wrong. The teacher still didn't get it. She continued to feel that my son was being disrespectful. I am reading a book right now called 'How to be a para-pro'. One of the first things it says is that staff working with kids on the spectrum need to educate themselves on ASDs. One of my favorite bullet points is "Kids with ASD's aren't rude!" I was thinking of having it tatooed to my son's forehead! Seriously, I don't think you will be swaying your DD's teacher if you point out areas that she has difficulties with and discuss your suspicions with her. If anything I think it will reinforce observations she has probably made on her own and cause her pay closer attention to certain behaviors. Hopefully it will lead to a more accurate evaluation.
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-10-2006
Tue, 07-24-2007 - 1:27pm

Hi!


I wish the worst my son called me was an octopus!!

< < Photobucket

Christine

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Registered: 06-25-2003
Tue, 07-24-2007 - 2:53pm

(an octopus! ROFL!!!)

-Paula

visit my blog at www.onesickmother.com
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Registered: 03-26-2003
Wed, 07-25-2007 - 12:49am

Teacher sounds a wee bit too sensitive to me.

I wouldn't likely go straight for AS explanation since they likely won't understand it and it was my experience in preschool that some folks then went into, NAW! their fine your crazy brigade.

What I would say is that there are some concerns and you are having your dd evaluated. That you feel badly about what your dd said but that it may be a part of what is going on with her and she doesn't really mean it or understand it.

Renee

Photobucket
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Registered: 11-28-2006
Wed, 07-25-2007 - 3:34am

I have read this thread, and thought about it. I remember talking to you brook in chat the other night. My Opinion is to tell what you think with the AS.

They might be inexperienced but you can print out stuff to show them what you mean.

If they can look for things on the radar, it might help you in the long run.

My god my school didn't even see it, but my son's teacher (last yr) noticed certain things, like staring into space, staring at his hands. He would walk up to her and talk very close, (face to face) something I noticed he did before with other kids.

She would corner him with questions he would get confused with, and if he couldn't answer her, he would end up agreeing with her, just to get out of the convo with her. What he said didn't make sense to me.

Those are all autistic traits.

If the teacher was alerted ahead of time, they might go "Aha!" I will look for certain things. Understanding these things can make a difference. They can jot them down.

They may be unexperienced, but once taught they could be a huge difference. Especially since you want a dx eventually.

My sister is a preschool teacher, and I tend to think I teach her all the time on Autism because of my son.

I teach her about Tourettes too. I once went to her school, and waited until she was done. I noticed a little boy who was more rowdy than the rest, got in more trouble than the rest. He was doing alot of facial grimaces ect.... This was more than one visit for me to see.

I noticed but my sister didn't. I said something to her.

Sometimes the need to be educated, not just only for your child, but for the future children who will go to that school is important.

Lainie

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-18-2006
Wed, 07-25-2007 - 8:40am

Thank you all for your responses. After a second bad day, Ive written a note to both teachers and the director. I've also printed off an artical from OASIS about things that might help with an ASD kiddo. I made it clear in my letter that she's not formally diagnosed, but some of the things in the artical will help regardless of what diagnosis she may or may not get. I also tried to make it clear that I don't want special rules for DD. Two weeks ago the teacher told me she's been going easy on DD because of the med changes. I looked at her and said, "Good luck with that" and further explained that she was likel setting herself up for a huge problem. DD is smart and manipulative. She has this innate sense for weakness in others and will use it to her advantage. The trick is to get her to use her powers for good rather than evil. ;)

Thank you all for the replies. It's nice to know I'm not the first person to go through this.