Should I take him out of summer school?

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iVillage Member
Registered: 08-22-2003
Should I take him out of summer school?
7
Fri, 07-22-2005 - 2:09pm

Hi everyone. DS is 4 in the summer preschool program our district offers for SE kids. Same basic program as the reg-preschool, some of the same kids, some new and new teacher and aides.

Vaughn did really well all school year in reg preschool with a wonderful teacher who was extremely organized and structured. She was also sweet and compassionate. He had a rough day here and there and transition issues after Winter break but nothing major or consistant. He's now having bad day after bad day in the summer class. He sits in timeout often and I get notes on how impulsive he is and how much he misbehaves in circle time. When I give suggestions, I get the feeling the teacher is defensive. I suggested circle time may be too long (30 minutes!) and maybe he could try other activities when the misbehavior begins. I feel they are addressing everything in a punitive rather than proactive/preventative way.

We are moving out of state Aug. 31. He will be starting school the first week of September at a new school. I'm considering pulling him from the summer program for the rest of August so he can take a break before Sept. school. DH feels he needs the structure everyday and I will need the 2.5 hours to pack. I just don't want a negative experience to ruin Sept in his new school & home.

What do you ladies think?

Thanks,
Shelley

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-02-2004
Fri, 07-22-2005 - 2:31pm

hi...maybe give him a week off,or send him part-time.. 2-3 days a week, instead of everyday...

He might be overwhelmed.. new program,teacher,kids, house being packed up,ect...

good luck...

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Fri, 07-22-2005 - 4:32pm

If you have something else you can do with your child during the day, and there are not some kind of special services you'd be missing.....I'd pull him! Sounds like this teacher does no understand how to deal with your child, and it's amazing how quickly kids learn to feel bad about themselves and resent school.

Jackie

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Fri, 07-22-2005 - 4:39pm

I agree or I would likely pull him all together. You have tried working with the teacher and that didn't help. He is not staying in that class or with that teacher permanently so how much effort is it worth on you and Vaughn to make it work. Why continue to stress him out for the rest of the summer needlessly.

Is he typically good at home or will he get really stressed out from not being in school? You can always structure your day as best you can for him and plan one activity per day for him and just enjoy him for the rest of the summer. And you are not a horrible mom if you let him watch tv or stim for an hour or so a day so you can pack in peace.

I honestly can't see the benefit of keeping him in a class where he is consistently doing that poorly and is misunderstood. It will only set him up for more failures.

We have pretty much a set routine here. New activities are scheduled in advance and prepared for. It maybe a trip for an ice cream, a trip to the park, playing outside in the sprinkler, a trip to the pool, or a movie. Lots of areas have fun activities for kids that are low cost like kids movie things, the library, etc. even doing something like the library once or twice a week will help.

Good luck on your decision.

Renee

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Avatar for njbeachma
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-22-2003
Sat, 07-23-2005 - 12:04am

Good advice...I am going in to observe on Monday. I think I've pretty much decided to pull him out, though. He is usually very good at home as long as the day is structured. When I'm lax, he basically finds trouble. I plan on checking out a service that will pack up your home for you so I can devote the rest of the summer to him. I've been keeping regular playdates with one or two friends so I will continue that and we belong to a pool club teeming with kids so he has opportunities to socialize.

We do lots of physical activities so I'm not concerned about him missing PT for 1 month (and Renee, we have a hippotherapy place nearby so I'll check that out).

Thanks for your advice everyone. My gut is saying to pull him out.

Shelley

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-25-2003
Sat, 07-23-2005 - 7:44am

Shelly,

I'm chiming in late here, sorry.

My advice is to go with your gut.

The school does not sound that great, IMO, as they seem to focus on negative rather than positive re-enforcement, and are unwiling or unable to take your suggestions on-board. Were you stayign in that SD, I would recommend a letter or some feedback to the Director, on how the summer program could be improved. In fact, you are probably best placed to provide that feedback now that you are leaving -no fear of repercussions. It may help someone else.

Good luck and let us know what you decide to do.

-Paula

-Paula

visit my blog at www.onesickmother.com
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-24-2003
Sat, 07-23-2005 - 9:45am
Go for your gut. It seems like you have a good handle on hoow to keep his days structured.

Pat

Happiness is a conscious choice, not an automatic response. --

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-24-2004
Sat, 07-23-2005 - 11:21am

Shelley,

You are kind of in a tough position because you need the time to pack, otherwise, I would give you a pretty definate answer that you should take him out of the program. We declined summer school this summer because we didn't feel it would offer anything more to Cassian than he would get at home. I am really leaning toward homeschooling anyway, but with the baby on the way, I didn't think I could handle it next year. I also wanted to try Cassian in a real autism program for a year, instead of having him in a mixed disability class.

Anyway, if it is structure that Vaughn needs, maybe you could give him this at home. I write a schedule for us to follow everyday, and we do all the things on our list. This helps Cassian know what is happening next, and I get no resistance from him at transition times. Also, things like video time are portioned out on the schedule, so he understands that he can't just stim on videos all day long. Here is an example of our schedule during the day (I don't put specific times because that enables us to stretch out some activities or shorten them when Cassian's attention waxes and wanes). Cassian likes to check off things on the list as we do them, and sometimes we skip one thing, but go back to it later.

Friday July 22, 2005

Eat Breakfast
Video #1 - Zoboomafoo (Feeling Good episode was Cassian's choice)
Practice Snaps, Zips, and Buttons
Handwriting Book (Cassian chooses from a selection of about 8 books that we have)
Make Banana Bread
Sprinkler and Sandbox Play Outside
Clean up in Shower
Eat Lunch (banana bread for dessert)
Shopping at Target
Come Home
Puppet Play (this is really "floortime," and Cassian can choose another dramatic play activity if he wants)
Video #2 - Wubbulous World of Dr. Seuss
Daddy Comes Home

We don't schedule the rest of the day, usually, and there is a lot of time spent in between these activities with Cassian reading books. I don't schedule booktime because he is hyperlexic, and he will read all day if permitted. That's a sample day for us, but of course, if I had to pack for a move, I wouldn't be able to do this kind of program with Cassian. If Vaughn can occupy himself, you might be able to give him solitary things on a schedule, while you do your packing during several intervals in the day. During the video times above (these vary from 30 mins to 1 hr each), I shower and dress and usually do some housework.

Suzi