Siblings: To Add, or not to Add...

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-13-2004
Siblings: To Add, or not to Add...
13
Mon, 04-21-2008 - 8:07pm

that is the question...


First off, let me say I

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iVillage Member
Registered: 01-13-2004
Wed, 04-23-2008 - 3:09pm

Thank you ALL! You were such a huge help, first knowing I am not the only one worrying about this...and also hearing from you mom's of more than one.


The only reason I was hesitating about renewing our liscence this year is there is a fair amount of work involved in that as well. DH and I both have to attend continuing ed classes each year, have a home inspection, update CPR/FA classes, etc, etc....but you are right, it's worth it, just to know our options are still open. Hopefully by next year things will be a little clearer.


Thank you all for sharing your experiences and concerns.


-Eris

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Wed, 04-23-2008 - 4:54pm

I'm gonna chime in late on this one. I have one ds who is 9 dx'd AS as well as a dh w/a dx of AS. I think you have to do what is right for you and your family..pretty much what everybody else has said!LOL. For me, I wanted another child. My dh only wanted one. Can in all actuality, only handle one even tho' I do most of the handling..lol. So, I guess I don't really have any good answer for you, except to do what is in your heart and what is best for your family.


I know deep down, that for us, one child is the right number. I'm an only child myself and I absolutely loved it. I loved having my parents to myself and am fully prepared to take care of my mom when she gets older. Actually, she lives with me now after my dad died. She's only 58 and I hope we have many more years together. It really comes to down to what you can handle. I know, that I'm a better mom to one than I would be to more. That's just me tho'. Everyone is different and that's as it is supposed to be. I think you'll know when the time comes. My family feels complete. I don't have that intense longing for another child like I had with Billy. Good luck.


 

Jen

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-17-2002
Thu, 04-24-2008 - 12:07pm

I agree with the other posters to keep your license up-to-date, just in case. We're kind of in the same boat, except we're contemplating a third. I wonder how I would handle it if the next one also had an ASD (our oldest, 5, has PDD-NOS; the youngest, 2, is NT). Some days I have trouble with the 2 we have and I don't know what the future holds for our PDD DS. Right now, my bigger concern is my DH's work hours, but that's a whole other rant. ;)


When we got pg the second time, we knew DS had some issues - he was diagnosed with enlarged ventricles in his brain at 8 mo. and had some development delays, but his top-notch specialists assured us they were just due to his brain issues and nothing more. I started to wonder about autism shortly before DS#2 was born and he wad officially diagnosed when DS#2 was 6 mo. old. I have to say though that having his little brother has been the best thing for him. I had really hoped for a little girl, but I know now that God had a reason for giving us another boy - to help DS. Before his brother came along and even when he was still really little, Aidan just didn't socialize with other kids. He would climb all over adults and yap their ears off, but kids were like foreign creatures to him. He would just kind of look at them and not talk or respond or play wtih them. Once his brother got older and more interactive, it made such a difference. Having another kid around to interact with 24/7 made a world of difference. He went from ignoring all the kids in preschool when he first enrolled two years ago to now getting in trouble at school because he won't leave his classmates alone during quiet times at school. When we're in doctor's offices, he goes right up to the other kids and starts yapping and wanting them to come play with him. He just waits in the mornings for his brother to wake up so he can play with him. It also makes me feel good to know if something were to happen to DH & I that he would always have his brother.


As others have said, you have to do what you feel in your heart is best for you, your DH and your son. But it doesn't hurt to keep your options open.

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