Sigh, son having a meltdown
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| Tue, 02-20-2007 - 1:31am |
If I could make a sad emotion I would....
Its 10:05. Chris had a melt down because he has to have his top bunk unhinged and moved closer to his TV. Since he has sound issue's he sleeps with the TV on. He falls alseep immediatly with it, so I haven't the need to say no.
Tonite he insisted his top bunk be moved as he's not close enough to the tv, and he see's shadows under the top bunk. We explained, we can;t do that now, but what we can do is move his mattress on the floor, with his heavy sleeping bag. He fell into a fit.
A BIG fit, banging his head against the top bunk, slapping me, charging me, totally loosing control. I kept on trying to give him his melantonin, but he refused.
Finally I took the card out of his box and said I'm not putting it back in until you get in control and follow our rules. I had to repeat this over and over again. All the while attacking me.
Finally he calmed down because he didn't have his card. He was really pissed at first, but after my insistance, he agreed to calm down. I also said I'm not giving you your card back unless you take your pill. He finally took it.
Sigh.... I just think I needed to vent here. This is hard work. I don't like being beat up ya know? He can really cause some pain. And I just couldn't understand his insistance all of a sudden of us moving his bed, because he see's shadows. My gosh, he has gone to bed for years with the light on.....
Lainie

Mike is like that where suddenly he will get something stuck in his head. Yesterday it was the shower in his bathroom. No clue why.
I find usually it all comes down to anxiety. They are freaked out by something and then they obsess on it and it is total fight or flight response that seems unreasonable to the rest of us. It is unreasonable because a) they cannot adequately communicate the problem and b) their perseveration and sticky thinking makes problem solving or doing something different just impossible.
This is the kind of situation where I find 2 things work. First our 5 point scale so he sees he is working himself into a tizzy. For some reason Mike understands that scale better than anything i have tried to tell him or do in the past.
Second, guiding him through problem solving in a calm way. Helping him verbalize what exactly the problem is and what are some appropriate solutions. For instance, I totally agree that I would not move the bed at 10pm either and the mattress on the floor was a good solution. However, he likely never comprehended/heard that part at all. What works for me is if I say "ok, what are some solutions we can try tonight and move the bed tomorrow?" Another solution may have been a sleeping bag on the floor of your room with headphones. We have done that one as well. Sometimes being near mom takes that anxiety away.
Then if he escalates you walk away and don't re-engage until he is calm because he IS NOT hearing you anyway. I tell Mike when he is a "1" we can talk.
Try to use visuals too.
Big hugs. It does get better over time.
Renee
PS, sometimes I also weigh the situation if I see an impending meltdown. What is going to work out better, moving the bed against my better judgement or an hour meltdown. Sometimes I just move the bed.
Edited 2/20/2007 10:31 am ET by rbear4
Thanks Renee, all of that sounds about right with him. I guess it was just such a suprise that it came on all of a sudden. And I did think about moving him into our room last night, but the problem with Chris, is if I do it once, then its like opening pandora
's box, and he will then insist he sleeps with us every night, and then everynight will be a melt down if I say no.... I just didn't want to do that unless it was absolutely necessary.
He finally calmed down, and the mattresse did work, but it took some time getting there. I have at times gone against my better judgement too, and given in, but in order to move the whole bunk bed, we would of had to move other furniture around, and I wasn't about to do any redecorating at 10 oclock at night lol. I wanted to go to bed lol.
Today, all he talks about is how he wants a big empty water bottle (the culligan man type), so he can start saving his change in it. Everytime I turn around he's talking about it. Its starting to get on my nerves lol.
Man I need a bubble bath lol.