Skills we've developed as parents

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-25-2005
Skills we've developed as parents
5
Thu, 09-23-2010 - 6:37pm

Today after school, a lady fell in the road in front of our house. It appeared that she'd been beaten and was drunk. She wasn't very coherent or cooperative in moving out of the road, and cars were trying to get past.

A couple of people stopped to try to help, incl an off-duty police officer, but the lady wouldn't move, and she kept telling everyone to get off her.

I was able to partially coax and partially physically move her out of the road without getting her agitated or upset. Everyone seemed to think I'd performed quite a feat. My first thought was that this isn't anything unusual -- I do stuff like this all the time with my AS kids!

As I thought about it, I realized there are probably a lot of skills we develop as parents of PDD/AS kids. What are some hidden talents or skills you think you've developed by parenting your PDD/AS kids?

For sure, one of my developing talents is patience. My patience still gets tested daily, but I am sooooooo much more patient than I used to be, both with my own kids and with other kids. The kids don't get away with misbehavior, but I am able to stay calmer while dealing with them. I'm also able to help them stay calm and find solutions to their upsets. I'm not perfect at it, but I'm so much better than I used to be that I'm really proud of this one.

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-25-2003
Fri, 09-24-2010 - 9:32am

Good question!

Definitely patience for me too. I had to grow a whole bunch of it really quickly when my son was little.

I have also become very good at explaining things and *why* we should (shouldn't) do things. My friend has remarked on this more than once; that her daughter will ask *her* something several times but accept my wording without question.

-Paula

visit my blog at www.onesickmother.com

-Paula

visit my blog at www.onesickmother.com
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Sun, 09-26-2010 - 2:09pm

I agree about staying calm.

                                

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-07-2008
Mon, 09-27-2010 - 6:23am

I agree with Heather, I can keep a group of kids in line like nobody's business, without scaring them or shouting. My 4 year old's class, and my nephews and nieces, all have a great deal of respect and awe for me: I now have an unerring instinct for cutting through bull, for knowing when and how to negotiate and when it is not worth negotiating. I don't think I am anyone's favourite but boy do they do a lot of work when I am around :-)



This translates into my workplace and how I deal with grownups a lot: I've had to learn the hard way to put my own feelings, and tiredness etc, aside and to remain calm and reasonable in the face of sometimes EXTREME provocation, and it's amazing (and perhaps a bit sad!) how often I have to use these skills in academia! It backfires, slightly, because I am now seen by my boss as the person you send in to any difficult situation/negotiation when it is possible people might throw things (literally, I am not kidding here).



Also, I can fashion a distraction out of literally anything I happen to have in my bag at the time. Sometimes, admittedly, this is a carton of tampons and a stick, and I don't think that skill necessarily transfers to the workplace, but the ability to cope in public situations without embarrassment is, in British society at least, an asset that puts me ahead of the game :-)



Kirsty, mum to Euan (11, Aspergers Syndrome) Rohan (7, NT) and Maeve (4, NT)

"My definition of housework is to sweep the room with a glance"



Follow my blog on http://mumsnet.com/blogs/kirsteinr/



"My definition of housework is to sweep the room with a glance"


Follow my blog on http://mumsnet.com/blogs/kirsteinr/


 

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-03-2006
Mon, 09-27-2010 - 9:05pm

ability to prioritize issues.



son eating any food is more important than preparing meals that meet us rda requirements that he won't touch.



letting son sleep on my bedroom floor is more important than having my room to my self.



making prior

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-03-2003
Tue, 09-28-2010 - 11:29am

For me it is compassion and acceptance.



Grace.