A Smile=A Connection!!
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| Fri, 10-06-2006 - 10:07pm |
I don't know exactly how to explain this, but I know that if anyone were to understand what I'm talking about, it would be members of this group. A few days ago, Lily turned toward me and smiled at me! It's not that she hasn't smiled before, because she smiles lots of the time. But this smile was different! When she smiled, she looked right at me and I felt a connection with her. I have tried to explain to friends/family that have never been able to really connect with Lily before. It's like there is a canyon between us and somedays it is large and other days the space between us is smaller, but still there. I don't know if anyone without a child on the spectrum knows what I'm talking about but I'm sure many of you do. Most of the time, Lily doesn't have much eye contact. So when I looked into her eyes and she smiled at me it was like finally being able to get a glimpse into her spirit. A couple of days later, Natalie (Lily's big sister) told me that Lily smiled at her! I hadn't made a big deal of Lily smiling at me to Natalie, so I don't think she was making a big deal out of a smile for no reason. Natalie was as excited as I was. A couple of weeks before the smiles, Lily walked up to her dad, turned him towards her and gave him a kiss and a hug! He was totally shocked! She has never done that before either. I don't want to get my hopes up, but I do hope that maybe we are finally breaking through her shell, so to speak. Anyway, I just wanted to share this with all of you because I think you will understand how wonderful all of this is to me and my family.
Amy~mom to Natalie (9 yrs) and Lily (4 yrs)

Oh Amy, I completely understand! For us (Claire and I) it was never an issue of smiling...but it was a certain look in her eyes. It was as if she'd look at me, take two beats to process the fact that she loved me, then her eyes would light up at the connection.
I am so thrilled for you...and at the same time, a little saddened. I know how hard it is realize that an action as simple as a smile means something to us that other parents can only take for granted.
((((Amy & Lily))))
Amy
Wow, that is fabulous. I know exactly what you mean. Yesterday when I picked Mike up from camp he bounced right up to me, looking for me and gave me a big real front facing hug and then began to tell me about his week. A total connection.
What I had expected was to find him stimming or spacing out and I would have to get his attention. I would have had to ask for a hug and I would have gotten a side or back hug and I would have to cue him to give me a real hug. Then I would have tried my best to get some details out of him before he got annoyed with me and told me to stop. That is what I expected.
What I got was heartwarming and nearly made me cry (ok I welled up) and it definitely will be a moment I hold onto forever.
Renee
Yes, that is wonderful. And connection builds connection, so never doubt that you are reaching her. I am here to tell you that the neurologoical pathways can be redirected and they DO want connection. The more they can do it, the more they will want to...
CONGRATULATIONS!!!!
Sara
ilovemalcolm
Amy
That is HUGE!!!!!
visit my blog at www.onesickmother.com
That makes complete sense to me, too!
I never had trouble connecting with Isaac, he connects with adults really well, it's peers he has issues with.