So Darn Angry

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
So Darn Angry
14
Fri, 06-01-2007 - 8:47pm
just needed to get rid of what I wrote


Edited 6/2/2007 5:25 pm ET by rbear4
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iVillage Member
Registered: 04-07-2003
In reply to: rbear4
Fri, 06-01-2007 - 9:43pm

Oh the days that Josh does that to me. Remember it is the end of the school year.Alot of Sh#! is going on in their world. Alot of sensory overload. Add in the fact this is his last year in this school and he is graduating so to speak. next year he will be in a whole new world.Add in up coming puberty

Josh has never hit me but man oh man does he talk back and you are a better woman than me. I know I have smacked him(please lets not get into that debate) but it is hard to realize where the ASD is and where it is just part of normal teenage BS and rebellion.

We know we try so hard to fight for our kids. Making the meeting talking to teachers etc. Then there are days they pull some sort of behavior wether it is lying, not doing their work despite all of the accomadations, talking back, even hitting. And it puts us into a tail spin because we are wondering why are we fighting so hard for our kids and they turn around and don't even try to help themselves. It can make us angry. And we are allowed to own our anger.

I know when Josh gets grounded and everything is taken away he will try to find a loop hole. And he will hound me eso when can he watch TV. He will also try veyr hard to do lots of work around the house that i tell him to do and he will Kiss A$$ to get what he wants. So be strong woman!

Hugs..
Rina

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-16-2006
In reply to: rbear4
Fri, 06-01-2007 - 9:48pm

Oh Renee ((hugs and a glass of wine))

I hate to have days like that. You are such a remarkable woman but you are human too. When the weight of the austim world falls on yours/our shoulders, it's OK to fall on occasion.

Hang in there sweeite.
It will be better...........

Nora

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
In reply to: rbear4
Fri, 06-01-2007 - 9:54pm
hi ho, hi ho, off to delete I go


Edited 6/2/2007 5:27 pm ET by rbear4
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iVillage Member
Registered: 02-20-2001
In reply to: rbear4
Fri, 06-01-2007 - 10:08pm
(((((((((((Renee))))))))))


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iVillage Member
Registered: 04-07-2003
In reply to: rbear4
Fri, 06-01-2007 - 10:38pm

here is some magic dust. remember they lose it on us because they feel safe to do it to us.
And no your inlaws were wrong not to take Michael. I don't know when you are going on your vacation, but I think you need a day to yourself. Trust me. I know sometimes for me just getting in my car to go walk the mall, play bingo etc sometimes is just what i need. See if your DH will be the big kahinna and take the kids tomorrow and let you just go for the day.

I know where you are coming from trust me. I know too many times I feel like Josh is a losyt cause right after a bad progress report or report card.I know that too many times I look at other kids his age and wonder. There are many times i look at his younger brothers and thank G-D they are not like him. I see so many differences. I also feel guilty sometimes because of all 3 boys Josh was the only one not concieved naturally. He was the kid we tried the hardest and longest to get pregnant with and some how he was the only one born with problems both physical and mental.

But then there are times you have to remember their good quailties. And yes you have to look very hard sometimes esp after days like this. I knwo Josh has a very fogiving heart. He tends to be friendly to everyone and all. And when there is something he really wants that is when he will work hard example with scouts. he is somewhat ahead of other kids his age with rank. And he is getting fixated on his up coming Bar Mitzvah. Last week he helped out the rabbi during the service and Josh is very serious about attending services routinly because of the rules. and he is determined to help out at my facility to get his mitzvah project in.Who knows maybe he will be a rabbi.

What does this have to do with Micheal you ask. I am hoping as you read about Josh you will start to remember what makes Mike so special at times what makes him determined. what his good qualities are. I know you have had a bad day/week. But remember the good out weighing the bad. Etc

Rina

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-21-2006
In reply to: rbear4
Fri, 06-01-2007 - 10:42pm

(((RENEE)))):

so sorry for this. how about you let him out of his room, and give yourself a time out?!?! Even if it's not till his dad comes home or whatever. that's what I do. go ahead do what you want... I'm going to my room to: cry/rest/sleep/shower/pig out/ read/relax/talk on the phone/surf the net/put on a show, etc.

My kids HATE when I give myself a time out... they can't bug me then... and htey can't push my buttons (and BOY do I have some BIG A$$ BUTTONS!)... and they know it.

I hope it get's better. If it helps, I have a so=called NT (although he's a flaming red head) and I frequently find myself wondering what i did to deserve him! he's not even 5 yet, and he's mastered the art of insult to injury! My aspie has mellowed a little right now, the beginning of hte year was rough, but he's usually great with me in terms of language and physicalness... not so much with his brother (mmm.... maybe there IS a reason he's an aspie... to protect me from my NT! lol).

I know it sucks... you can't fault yourself. we are human, we can only hold together so much. give yourself an hour time out and i'm certain you'll feel better. No one will starve, break too many things, write on too many walls that an hour alone and away from it all can't at least help to find the humor in it?!?

lots of hugs and patience!

Nicole

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
In reply to: rbear4
Fri, 06-01-2007 - 10:44pm

Renee, I agree with the other posters. I think you need to take some time for yourself. Absence makes the heart grow fonder, you know.


I'm so sorry you're having a rough time with your son. I'd be angry, too.


iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
In reply to: rbear4
Fri, 06-01-2007 - 10:46pm
done


Edited 6/2/2007 5:28 pm ET by rbear4
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iVillage Member
Registered: 07-06-2006
In reply to: rbear4
Fri, 06-01-2007 - 10:57pm
HUGS!

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iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-2006
In reply to: rbear4
Sat, 06-02-2007 - 5:29am

Good Lord Renee, you need Vegas, and you need it now! (Well maybe in Oct.....) But you know we all need a break from our kids, whether there NT or not. Its just the way life is sweetie. Kids with special needs I think you need a break even MORE!!!!!

Maybe Mike needs a break from you too? I don't mean to sound negative or anything but sometimes, when were so angry, we need to separate. I used to send my (NT) dd up to my friends dd's place in SF, just to relax and talk about everything she didn't want to talk to me about. The separation helped immensly. And she was able to let her feelings out to someone she felt comfortable with.

Dh needs to just deal...... and give you a break. He gets away for work doesn't he? It's another way of escaping....... You need it too.

Talk to him. Tell him what you need. Heck I will shoot down to SD with my Metal Detector (I know I'm a geek lol) and we can comb the sand on the beaches lol.

You need to give yourself a break, give yourself a vacation with just the girls once a year (maybe two if you need it) so you can come back refreshed, and feel good about you and your kids.

Have you ever had DH leave the house with the kids for a vacation to his parents, or even getting a hotel room at the beach? This way you spend the weekend in total silence, total calmness, total "what you want to do."

I do this sometimes as I need to turn the music up REALLY LOUD and just clean. Great Therapy!

Lainie

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