so much for ever getting out w/o kids!

Avatar for betz67
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Registered: 03-26-2003
so much for ever getting out w/o kids!
3
Tue, 01-16-2007 - 8:58am

DH and I don't go out very much. When we do we usually just leave #1 DS in charge. He's really good with the younger 3 kids and he's got a cool head in an emergency and he's 15. #1 DD is awful with her siblings and usually she's told to just ignore everyone. We take the cell phone with us and we're rarely gone more than a few hours. We are rarely more than 15 min away.

Friday night DH and I had a party to go to. It was friends from Wisconsin that also work w/ DH and live in our subdivision (small, small world!). Anyway, we were maybe 2 mins walk from home-- 10 houses away! We fed the kids before we left and told #1DS to get the little kids in bed by 9. I guess we forgot to FULLY STRESS that the older 2 were to TOTALLY leave Weston alone, let him do what he knew he was supposed to do (we write him a list before we leave) and if he didn't he was in trouble from Mom and Dad but they only need to be sure he's safe and call if anything happens.

We got home at 11pm. 2 older kids were still up everyone else was in bed. DH asked how it went, were the little kids in bed on time, etc. We got a funny look from #1DD and #1 DS proceeded to tell us that Weston and #1 DD had a fight. She forcefully made him go up stairs and get his pajamas on, yelled at him, told him he couldn't watch TV, wouldn't get him ice cream. The next morning, we got the same story from the little 2 kids and Weston wouldn't talk. Amelia said yes, she'd done all that, but it was because no one else would make Weston do what he was told. sigh! (when Amelia gets an attitude that she's right NOTHING will stop her from making it happen-- and Weston is TOTALLY resistant and defiant towards her because "she has NO authority over me") We didn't get a phone call. Warren (#1 DS) didn't stop her. AND Weston has been 'off' ever since.

We haven't been able to find a sitter that is good with all our kids-- they'll get along w/ Owen and martha but can't deal w/ Weston or they're good w/ Weston but Owen runs right over them cause he doesn't get attention or they scare Martha because they're not quiet and calm enough. Also, when you have 15 and 13 yr old in the house, it's weird to have a sitter the same age as them-- or even one of their friends.

ARGH! it's supposed to get easier when they're old enough to stay by themselves not harder!

Betsy

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Registered: 03-26-2003
Tue, 01-16-2007 - 10:41am

Betsy!

I am so sorry! However, this was a first try for this long right? It was a learning experience that you can grow from the next time. You still need to give them regular opportunities to try this maybe shorter and more frequent. It is important living skills for all of them and they are old enough to do it (particularly the 13 and 15yo). And if weston isn't a danger to himself or others then they should be able to manage all 3 the right way.

Go over what went right, what went wrong and what you expect the next time. You still need to give them the chance to learn and grow from it and to earn your trust/have some independence.

We are just starting to let Cait "babysit" the 2 little ones but she can't handle Mike so we have a respite person here for Mike but Cait is told she is in charge of the other 2 and what the expectations are. It is not too bad yet because there is still and adult here but I have also had the opportunity to leave Cait with Emily or Dave for about 15-20min at a time with specific instructions for the lot. It isn't perfect but it is a skill she has to learn. Makes me crazy though, lol.

Renee

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Avatar for bigoldfatmama
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Registered: 04-08-2003
Tue, 01-16-2007 - 10:49am

Hi Betsy....

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Registered: 04-07-2003
Tue, 01-16-2007 - 3:35pm
For what it is worth the night didn't go that badly. Yes the 2 fought a bit, but now your DD hopefully learned her lesson. babysitting is a learning experience.
I know for us as Josh gets older and our current babysitters age out it will get harder to replace them. I have also started to allow Josh(12 on fri) to watch his siblings ages 7 and 5 for short periods of time. No longer than a haf hour. He knows to call us if there is a problem. But the only real problem is that the 5 year old can be a ball-buster at times and Josh gets easily frustrated at times. He does have his own house key to let himself in the house if we are not home when he gets home from school. And Josh is very good about it. He gets in turns off the alarm then he calls one of us to let us know he got home. Then we remind him to let the dogs out and go do his home work.
Hopefully we can get 2or 3 more years out of our current sitters by then Josh will be 14/15 at the time. But I know we may be treading water with him at that point and sitters. But at that point my middle one will be almost 10 and he has a good head on his shoulders so that should balance out Josh.
Rina