So Overwhelmed!!!

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-26-2010
So Overwhelmed!!!
Fri, 02-26-2010 - 5:01pm

I think I'm going to be hanging out here!!! I am told my 4 (almost 5year old) is more than likely PDD/NOS after that it was alot of what he cant or wont be able to do honestly I was in and out from that point! Then there is the aftercare issue where the mainstream daycare he is in as said because of their student/teacher ratio they don't feel they can safely continue to watch him....

He is 4...he's not that bad....he has some speech delay...he has some difficulty initiating play....why is all this so bad he's 4!

All this Autism talk and special schools and seriously....I just don't even know if I am coming or going. I sat in my car crying yesterday because I get so sick of the daycare he goes to for aftercare hitting me soon as I enter the door with something else.

I cant believe with the numbers that are coming out on ASD there isn't more facilities and help.

I am between denial and pity and just really overwhelmed.

Sorry that I am rambling...Thanks for listening.

Any suggestions?

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-25-2003
Fri, 02-26-2010 - 6:54pm

Breathe. It will be OK.

You may have some learning to do and some changes to make, but you will learn and you will figure out what to do and it will be OK. Maybe not tomorrow, maybe not in the next few weeks, but gradually it will. And you always have us to come to for support and advice.

What kind of daycare is your son attending? Mine was going to a big program; one of those big centers lots of kids in different with "classrooms" and mostly young, perky carers. It was a complete disaster. He was kicked out of two different places like that in a short period of time and I was terrified.

We switched him to a small family daycare run by an experienced middle-aged couple out of their home and he did soooo much better in the calmer environment. -Although he was kicked out of there too after the first week. They changed their minds during the notice period because he calmed down so much in the third week and they began to see him for who he really is.

So my first recommendation is to look at other daycare places if you can.

My second recommendation it not to take what "they" say too much to heart. I was told by a well-respected neuro-psychologist to "prepare myself". That my son may never speak or write and may never attend a regular school. I was literally ready to jump off a bridge.

Guess what? He is now 11, takes the regular bus to regular Middle school, where he is making As and Bs on the standard curriculum. "They" don't know everything.

My last recommendation is to remember that even though you now have a diagnosis, your child hasn't changed a bit. He is still the same kid you loved pre-diagnosis. The only difference now, is that you have more tools available to *you* to be able to help him.



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iVillage Member
Registered: 06-25-2005
Sat, 02-27-2010 - 9:30am

What you're feeling is very normal. You'll probably cycle through emotions many times over the next several years. At times I feel like I know what I'm doing and have life in control, and other times, life feels completely overwhelming.

I will say that this board is a great place for venting, for finding people who understand what you're going through, and for finding great info about how to manage. I've been lurking (and occasionally posting) on this board for close to four years now, and I still find it a wonderful place to be.

Although the numbers are high for kids with ASD, a lot of it has been a semi-recent explosion in numbers (three years ago I read that it was something like a 600% increase in the previous 20 years). And, ASDs aren't the only issues on the rise -- so are ADHD, mental disorders, etc. There's definitely been improvement in understanding and services for our kids over the past several years, but it's difficult to find supports that keep up with the rate of need. This board has been helpful for me to learn more about ASD, so that I've been able to become a better advocate for my kids (I have four kids, ranging in age from 6-15yo, two with ASD).

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-26-2010
Mon, 03-01-2010 - 8:38am

Thank You for the replies...sorry for the delay in responding...this weekend was a rough one.

I attended the Captain Meeting for The Autism Walk in my city and the people there were SUPER nice but as I stood there and looked around I was back with that thought of my baby does not fit in here.

Then I started going back and forth with myself as to if I had on rose colored glasses and just not wanting to see that