So scared about second son

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-19-2005
So scared about second son
9
Thu, 03-27-2008 - 10:29pm
I know there is nothing I can do about it, but I have a 2 month old and I'm so afraid that he too will be on the Spectrum. I know the chances are much greater since his brother is. He is a completely different child so far but I know that means nothing. The only difference I see is possibly sensory. Gray hated pacifiers, bottles, swings, carseats, bouncers, slings. Magnus likes ALL of the above and will even take formula if you offer it, and takes his reflux medication like a champ. I guess I'm not asking a question, I just need to get this off of my chest. Gray is an amazing kid and I know it wouldn't be the end of the world, but my fear is that Magnus could be even more severe, even non-verbal. Who knows. I desperately would like a child that can communicate with me and that could help be an advocate/friend for his big brother. I know he is only TWO MONTHS old, but I wish I could help stressing over the future. Thanks for listening.
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iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-2006
Fri, 03-28-2008 - 2:22am

Hi Lucinda,


Welcome!


You know, I have to say I haven't read that there is a severe chance of it happening in younger sibilings, just a chance.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Fri, 03-28-2008 - 5:26am


I understand your fears, but at this stage there isn't much you can do. He's way too young, and anyway there isn't that strong a family link - most kids on the spectrum have NT siblings, which is one reason that research has managed to rule out a psychological cause (which is a relief to us parents!). And anyway, as the parent of 2 NT kids and 1 ASD kid, I can assure you that you will have your hands full with Magnus in the coming years even - actually, ESPECIALLY - if he is NT!


And also, speaking from my experience, having a sibling is going to be GREAT for Gray too. Euan made amazing progress in his social and emotional development when his baby brother was born, and I've seen that in a lot of ASD kids too.


Relax, and enjoy your kids. You have a busy and joyful time ahead of you!


Kirsty, mum to Euan (9, Asperger's) Rohan (5, NT) and Maeve (2, NT)


iVillage Member
Registered: 05-19-2005
Fri, 03-28-2008 - 8:21am
Thanks. What does NT mean? I'm new here! :-) It is frustrating not having a real diagnosis yet, even though two of his therapists seem to be leaning towards ASD. The earliest dev ped appointment I could get was OCTOBER 28TH!!! I hate that I'll constantly be watching Mag. At his one month appointment the ped was concerned that he didn't make any eye contact and my heart just started sinking. Of course now he is a smiley bear most of the time, but I hate that it will always be in the back of my mind. I know in my head I need to relax. And most of the time I can, but for the next couple of years I know it will always creep in.
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iVillage Member
Registered: 04-11-2003
Fri, 03-28-2008 - 9:44am

NT means neruotypical or not having autism or other developemental delays /learning disabilities.


Your worry is understandable but I hope you'll find peace and be able to just enjoy your beautiful baby.


There are some things you can do now though.

Samantha
Avatar for toryanna
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Fri, 03-28-2008 - 1:11pm

Victor has a diagnosis of AS however his little sister is an NT. I know there are some people on here that little siblings are diagnosed on the spectrum as well. Bryanna has Aspie traits but not enough to cross that line to a diagnosis. She doesn't like to be hugged, and when the world doesn't revolve around her, she gets very angry. She's extremely social tho. At any given time I've got 3-7 little girls running around my house on a weekend. Having such a social younger sibling has been good for Victor because he's so withdrawn. He's gotten his first friend from TKD and asked the mom if he could bring Bryanna with him to go play at that friend's house. Now he says its so that Bree with go play with his friend's sister, I think it's so that he'll have his best friend there with him in a new setting... a sort of security blanket. The good news is that this friend is an Aspie as well.


iVillage Member
Registered: 09-10-2004
Fri, 03-28-2008 - 1:46pm

Lucinda, you never know...Mag's differences from Gray could be that his is NT.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 05-19-2005
Sat, 03-29-2008 - 1:26pm
hi! I didn't get the email! wah!
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iVillage Member
Registered: 09-10-2004
Sat, 03-29-2008 - 1:40pm
I'll send you another one right now...
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iVillage Member
Registered: 09-10-2004
Sat, 03-29-2008 - 1:45pm
Just sent it....if you didn't get it you can email me at vainmd@gmail.com and we can chat.
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