So sick of it all !!!!
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| Mon, 11-05-2007 - 10:26pm |
Oh my gawd you guys, I hate to come in here and let loose like this but I have to tell someone something somehow somewhere!!! AAAAAGGGGHHHHHH!!!!! Plain and simple I DO NOT KNOW HOW TO DEAL WITH MY SON!!!! Every single day is a complete struggle! He fights us tooth and nail on everything, throws fits, hits us, scream so loud and high pitched that it makes my ears ring and hurt, throws things, hits his sister (to the point that she has started biting to defend herself! Not right either, but still!!) Me and my mom got into a HUGE altercation over her thoughts that the way I discipline my son is wrong and that I need to take classes to learn how to deal with him....WHEN am I supposed to do this???? I am a full time student, stay at home mom, plus my daughter has early intervention twice a week, dh is working 12-14 hours a day and these "classes" she wants me to go to are only available in Cincinnati which is 75 flippin miles away!!!! So now, I have no sitter to watch my daughter when I take ds to doctor's appts. (at which most prefer siblings not be present due to distractions), so I have to pull my son out of school 15 mins. early so I can take her to early intervention and not miss getting him off the bus! You guys.....I CANNOT DO THIS!!! I am ONE person and this is just killing me!!! I don't know what to do about all of his behaviors. HELP!!! HELP!!! HELP!!!!! I'm about to freakin' lose my mind!!!

Hi Jen - I can understand. We have a son named Dakota, too, who has a diagnosis of PDD-NOS, ADHD and ODD and frankly his behavior lately (mainly at school but at home, too) is hard to handle. My son nor your son's behavior has nothing to do with your parenting...your disciplining. There is no one at fault at this. I would be nice to just snap our fingers and the behaviors instantly stop. Shot..I'd like that with my NT, Sierra, when she gives me fits. LOL
It was a nice suggestion on your Mom's part on taking a class but exactly what kind of class is it? A class on how to deal with autistic children? Taking a class may help for guidance but doesn't mean it will work for you or your son. My family is always giving my suggestions especially lately. Drives me nuts. Its hard for them to understand what we go through.
How are his behavior at school or is it mainly seen at home. Dakota behavior is more likely to act up at school so they have a reward system in place. Each section of the day is set up on a number system & can earn up to 10 points on each section. So we tied this to home where those points equal to number of minutes he can spend on the computer at home. Also on this form he can earn extra minutes for not hitting as well as not yelling. Should he do either he loses 20 minutes from the total. So in the end if it was a perfect day he could have a possible of 120 minutes of computer time. This is just an example but you can try a reward system for home where there can be potential positive outcomes. I dunno but thought it was worth mentioning. :-)
I know is extremely difficult to deal with behaviors. I jokingly told my son's counselor that all mother's need a punching bag. LOL He agreed as he has children, too.
Don't feel you are forced to take any classes on parenting and discipline. It should be your own decision. Some of these type of classes here don't even touch on how to discipline an autistic child.
We are here for you. don't know I helped any but do have to say I love your children's names. :-)
Shell
Mom to Dakota and Sierra.
My Son
My Daughter
Jen first of all maybe you should slow down your schedule of school.
((((JEN)))))
My son (4 w/ PDD) started that kinda of stuff right after we were dx'ed. As for your mom, she doesn't "get it" when it comes to raising a spectrum child. It's A WHOLE NEW WAY TO PARENT.
Can I ask what kind of classes are you taking and how important are they that you can put on hold for the time being? I do agree with Lainie about that one cause yoru DS is the bigger issue you need to put 1st in this.
Since your mom is quick to put her 2 cents in.....can't she help out with your DD while you tend to your son?
http://i153.photobucket.com/albums/s225/irishwildrose/pp2.jpg
you are in the right place for understanding people. my son has as,adhd and bipolar. i am a single mom. the best piece of advice i ever received was to take care of myself. without me. my son has no one. take a bath, a walk, paint your nails, exercise, scrub floors if that's what makes you relax.
it's not what you want to hear but maybe your mom is trying to be helpful. she sees how hard things are and doesn't know how to help. she might think someone may be able to give you some magical advice abour your son. or maybe she thinks you may need to get together with people in similar situations. my mom is happy to hear about the asperger books i am reading & was happy to hear that the local aperger association is staring an online support group. she still hasn't offered to babysit but she listens to me. that's what i need from her.
actually there is a class i want to take on parenting middle school age children with aspergers. the class is several consecutive thursdays during
Oh Jen, if you'd seen my post around 10 days ago you'd KNOW I know how you are feeling.
I too am dealing with Liam's regressions plus Cian's EI stuff, not to mention Roan's now obvious sensory needs (ie: sleep is overrated, and she is HYPER). Dh also works 12-14 hours a day and then my father is full of "great" advice too. Thank goodness he's in Ireland most of the time though. I also have no real supports, which is why I am jumping through all the various hoops to get the Katie Beckett waiver for both boys. Is there something similar in your state? Once we can get the waiver we can hrten apply for Natural Supports waiver, which is the golden ticket: it means respite, therapy plus cash for camps etc. ie: RESPITE!!!!
I had to put a hold on finishing my Masters as it was just all too much, and now dh is pressuring me to go back to work next academic year. We need the money but I don't know how I will keep up with the boys' therapy plus whatever Roan will need and work. Ughgh, I totally feel your pain. I do find beer is a great help though;)
Dee